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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Goes to the Doctor! (S01E01)

"Fine. I'll get Kimmy to help me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Who needs you, anyway?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Can I borrow $5, a lint brush, a stick of gum, and your shoes?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Listen, Kimmy,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause I only have the blood sugar to say this once."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"If I'm going to get an audition,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I need head shots that show range,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"specifically, a fine composite head shot like this flawless one"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"of Tony Danza that I borrowed from my dry cleaners."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Whoa."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We only have one shot at this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I will have approximately three seconds"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"between flashes to transform characters."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"As soon as you see the light, you hand me the next costume,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"even if I scream no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Even if I beg you to stop,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"hand me the next costume."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"See you on the other side."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is impossible."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The beard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're looking at a genius."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mrs. Voorhees, have you sent that selfie of me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Can we use this one I made at the arcade instead?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's what my and Titus's baby would look like."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, that's upsetting."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What's wrong with your other picture?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't like it. I didn't realize how old I look now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You don't know what you look like?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How do you know your self-worth?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I guess I just was never one of those girls"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"who looked in the mirror all the time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Your hair is brown with different brown in it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Your eyes are green with grayish flecks."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And your nose is super skinny."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yay!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, Kimmy, you want me to be your mirror now?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Nah, I'm good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can see myself if I move fast enough."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ugh, now I can't stop looking at these lines here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I hate them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Outside in, Kimmy. I don't have time right now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Dr. Franff said called and said he could see me immediately,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so I'm heading over."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Carry my purse and this bag with sneakers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, no, what's wrong?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't know, but whatever it is,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm sure he'll figure it out."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Dr. Franff is the best plastic surgeon in Manhattan."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sidney built Mariah Carey from scratch."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Excuse me? - Mm-hmm?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is this the line for Spidermen auditions?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yep, can you believe all these weirdos."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, well, well..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"this is rich."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Coriolanus Burt..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I haven't seen you in years."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No? You didn't catch my turn on SVU?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I must've blinked and missed it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Really?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You missed my performance as the guy who, at the end,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"turned out to have done it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look at us..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Me just passing by on my way to tape a podcast"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and you standing in line for an open call"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for a play directed by the third Affleck brother..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Myron."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, my agent set this up..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus, if you're in this line, you don't have an agent."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Excuse me, I have to take this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hello?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes, I am happy with my long-distance service..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"very happy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wait, the sign says Dr. Grant."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes, but Sid pronounces it Franff."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"These people are already pretty."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why are they even here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look at her hands."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mm-hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Would you like a water? - Yes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Plastic surgeons look at feet?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, yes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Feet are the new butts, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Dr. Franff is here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Jacqueline, you look fantastic."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Thank you, Sidney."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Would you like TV while we work?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What do you want to watch? CNN, pornography?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, Thank you, Sidney."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't have time for the works today."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I just wanted to talk to you about my toes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"As you know, Julian loves my feet,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for sex reasons."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm just not feeling good about them for some reason."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, we can do a toenail re-sizing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You can have a foot face-lift, or you can toe tuck them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Well, which do you recommend? - I cannot choose."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's like asking me which one of my children's placentas"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"was the most delicious."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hold on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Who's this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What interesting skin you have."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Oh. - Look at that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Absolutely no sun damage."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But you've clearly experienced a tremendous amount of stress."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you a coal miner, submarine captain?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- No. - Huh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Because you have very distinct scream lines."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Where did those come from, I wonder."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Too many fun roller coasters maybe?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Either way, your problems are easy to fig."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This brow furrow, zap."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And these frown lines, we'll flump-up, you know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Oh, I don't need all that. - Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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