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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Goes to the Doctor! (S01E01)

"Cyndee, hi."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- How did you get this number? - I got the letter you sent me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What letter?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's on Barbie stationery. It has pizza grease on it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm gonna kill you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- So how are you? - Yeah, real good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know, sometimes I get mad for no reason."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Like, the other day, I smashed one of those..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, gosh, what are they called?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kia Sorrentos."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And last night I had a dream"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that Reverend Richard was chasing me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and then I turned around, and his face"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"was the baby from Full House."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, that's terrible."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But other than that, real good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, I should come visit you sometime."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh, yeah, maybe."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh, listen, I got to get ready for work, so..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Bye. - So bye."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why would you send that letter?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I had to call for backup. You won't talk to me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You say I don't understand, but I knew who would"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"is another one of your goopy-doops."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You don't like it when I say Mole Women."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, 'cause that's our word."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You wouldn't like it if I said..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Hold! ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus, I'm fine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't need to talk about it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, you yell in your sleep. You bite my nails."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And we still don't know why you're afraid of Velcro."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Aah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hi, Mrs. Voorhees."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Shut up, Vera."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you praying?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Do you need a bucket? - This is a Joy Pose."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's scientifically proven that if you look good on the outside,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you actually become confident and happy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's called outside-in living, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And I have bought two books on it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've been doing that my whole life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Smile until you feel better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I call it Kimmying. Watch."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, Kimmy, you can cancel those reservations"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"at Le Gargámel."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mr. Voorhees called, and he won't be coming back"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for another six weeks."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"About what? I've already forgotten about it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, can you try Dr. Franff's office and see if he"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"can squeeze me in today?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Also, see if they have an appointment."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And the school called."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They need a photo of you for Buckley's caregiver ID."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Apparently, all these days that you've been picking him up,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"they've been parking him down as abducted."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, boy, okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't really have a recent picture of myself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is there a Sears near here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ew. No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just take a selfie and email it to me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A selfie. Yes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What is that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you serious?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You just reverse the camera and press the button."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, you have to hold the camera high"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to keep your chin up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Then make a kissy mouth."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Then think about baby ducks, so your eyes look kind."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And squeeze in your arm to push up your cleavage."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is this what my face looks like now?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's what I say when I look in the mirror every morning."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know, when I used to get really sad"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"in the place where I used to live,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I would smile and jump up and down"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and say, I'm not really here. I'm not really here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, I don't know that one."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm not really here. I'm not really here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You have enough for a book here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm not really here!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm not really here!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God. Why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Buhbreeze. Cover it up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Earlier today, tragedy striking the new musical"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Spidermen Too: 2 Many Spidermen, the show billed"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"as the most flying Spidermen ever assembled"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"on one stage."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Change the channel. I can't get news from a woman."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This afternoon, six cast members were critically injured"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"at the hands of Spiderman's greatest foes..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Gravity and floors."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"In true Broadway fashion, producers insist"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that the injured actors will be replaced"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and the show will go on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is it. This is my chance."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you kidding me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That show is a death sentence."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Exactly. Most actors will be scared away,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but not Titus Andromedon, whose biggest credit to date"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"is that Bum Fights DVD."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I could actually get a part on Broadway."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't support this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I will not bury another beautiful black man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know my dear husband Roland was killed"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"in our very own apartment."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes, I've heard this story before."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He got up to go to the bathroom"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"in the middle of the night, and on his way back to bed,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"he was shot in the face."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"By you, Lillian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, it was dark out,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and a black guy was trying to get in bed with me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It was the '70s."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Point is, I will have nothing to do"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with this audition of yours."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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