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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Loft in Bedslation (S12E12)

"Lofter is the best medicine."
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"Yeah, when my cousin Ronnie lived in New York,"
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"he had this tiny studio apartment,"
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"and he lofted his bed,"
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"and he put a little love seat under there."
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"But, uh, didn't quite work out for him."
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"It was more of a like seat. Poor Ronnie."
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"Uh... I guess that might work."
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"Teddy could probably build something like that"
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"in a way that costs very little money, hopefully."
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"I think that's a great idea, Mom."
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"And I'm not just saying that because I've got a bomb squad"
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"that needs to do tongue‐building exercises."
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"‐Hmm. ‐I'm gonna go upstairs and tell Louise the good news."
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"Right now? Should we ask Teddy what it will cost first?"
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"Oh, you're already going up there."
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"I'll go help Mom make the sale to Louise."
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"I'm a good hype man. Check this out."
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"What a great idea!"
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"‐That'll definitely do it. ‐Thanks."
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"‐Hello. ‐Hi. Welcome to Bob's Burgers. ‐Hi."
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"Weird question. I was wondering if you allowed gaming here?"
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"Well, I play a game called "Register Surprise,""
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"Where I hide cold French fries in the register"
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"for my parents to find. They love it."
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"We don't. Uh, what kind of gaming?"
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"My friends and I play this role‐playing game"
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"called Mages and Monsters, and we kind of need a place"
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"to do our campaign today because the garage"
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"we usually use has a Jeep in it now."
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"Oh, Mages and Monsters. I‐I think I've heard of that."
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"You've heard of something?"
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"I thought this would be a good spot to play"
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"because it's... not so... busy all the time."
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"We don't like the hustle bustle."
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"Well, it's a pretty long game, so we'll be here for a while,"
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"and I promise we'll order lots of food and drinks."
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"I'm the Game Master so I'm kind of in charge today."
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"It's my first time, actually."
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"Sorry. I do that when I get nervous."
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"When I go real fast, it gets hot on my neck."
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"‐I think I see smoke. ‐My name's Shirley, by the way."
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"So, you can call me that. (laughs) Oh, my God."
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"I just really want this to go well."
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"Say "yes" so she doesn't drawstring her head off."
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"‐Uh, sure. Why not? ‐Oh, thank you so much."
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"‐See you in a couple hours. ‐Okay, see you later."
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"‐(door bells tinkle) ‐Hey, Dad, check the register."
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"‐There might be a surprise. Hmm? ‐Hmm."
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"LINDA: And your bed's"
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"gonna be going up here so you can put"
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"a little desk underneath, and then"
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"you two won't have to share one anymore, and..."
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"Oh, look at that. I just won the Smartest Mom Award."
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"‐In your face, other moms. ‐What a great idea!"
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"Yes, yes, yes! I love it."
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"I'm almost angry at you for not thinking of it sooner."
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"I can't believe I slept like this for so long."
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"‐What a great idea! ‐Thank you, Tina, she's in."
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"Are we doing it today? It gets built today, I'm strapped in"
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"by tomorrow, I'm eating donuts by the end of the week."
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"And I sleep in the clouds like the gods!"
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"Yeah, today. Why not? Let's do it. I'll call Teddy."
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"Sorry, Linda. I'd love to help you, but, uh, I'm in Canada."
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"You're in Canada? What the hell are you doing in Canada?"
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"My mom ordered a scooter on Canadian eBay,"
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"‐and we had to come pick it up. ‐(truck horn honking)"
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"We're driving it back down."
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"She loves that thing, but she doesn't like to go fast."
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"What do you want me to do?!"
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"Go around. Elderly woman scooting."
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"Linda, I got to go."
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"Well, Teddy's in Canada. He won't be able to help us."
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"No, Teddy! You get on a plane, and you come home right now!"
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"Yeah, Teddy. Get your ass back here."
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"He hung up. He hung up. Geez."
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"We were so close. (sighs)"
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"Okay, you know what? Louise, you are getting that loft bed."
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"‐Today. Because we don't need Teddy. ‐We don't?"
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"No, we don't. Because I'm not my mom."
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"I raise kids that are the kind of people who build things."
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"We're loft bed builders."
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"‐Yeah! ‐Okay, hands in."
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"Wait a minute. What are we doing?"
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"Hands in. We're gonna build a loft bed"
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"because we are strong, capable people"
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"who aren't gonna make the mistakes"
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"their mother‐slash‐father made"
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"because I'm doing a really good job parenting, on three."
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"One, two, three."
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"LINDA AND LOUISE: We're gonna build a loft bed..."
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"TINA: We're gonna build a bed because we're strong"
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"and something about Grandma and Grandpa,"
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"‐and yay. ‐(indistinct chatter)"
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"‐And three! ‐What a great idea."
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"So, we're building the loft bed?"
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"No, we're building a loft bed."
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"You have to work in the restaurant."
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"It's funny. I was thinking"
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"that you also have to work in the restaurant."
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"Well, Gene can help you."
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"(chanting): I'm a little juice box."
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"This is where the straw goes."
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"Hmm. I‐I have a crazy idea."
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"we wait 'till next weekend. Teddy builds the loft bed."
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"And this weekend, we all work in the restaurant"
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"so we can pay our rent."
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"Ugh. You and your rent."
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"I‐I'm... I'm sorry to be so hung up on it."
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"Dad, it is Dinosaur Week."
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"Do not get between me and those donuts, old man."
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"She's been sleeping near the floor like an idiot."
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"We need to get this kid lofted and out of my room."
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"But Louise, don't you need to work"
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"on your dinosaur project, like, today?"
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"Hey, this is my new loft bed we're talking about."
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"I'll work twice as hard tomorrow"
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"if I can sleep twice as high tonight."
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"‐What? ‐Bob, this is important."
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"It's something I'm teaching our girls."
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