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Clips from Cheers - Suspicion (S04E04)

Well, the other day I was conducting An experiment

"Well, the other day I was conducting An experiment"

Cheers

For my behavioral Sciences colloquium.

"For my behavioral Sciences colloquium."

Cheers

I brought a man in--

"I brought a man in--"

Cheers

Man? What man?

"Man? What man?"

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A classmate. Oh, never mind.

"A classmate. Oh, never mind."

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The point is that i Played this harmless Trick on them,

"The point is that i Played this harmless Trick on them,"

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And now they're Going to get back At me.

"And now they're Going to get back At me."

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At first i Approached it with My usual good humor,

"At first i Approached it with My usual good humor,"

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But now i find I'm obsessed.

"But now i find I'm obsessed."

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I need your help.

"I need your help."

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Well, i think one or 2 sessions Should clear it up.

"Well, i think one or 2 sessions Should clear it up."

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Oh, frasier, i don't Want counseling.

"Oh, frasier, i don't Want counseling."

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I want you To spy on them.

"I want you To spy on them."

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Ah.

"Ah."

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Get close to them,

"Get close to them,"

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Find out when heinous Revenge they have Planned--aah!

"Find out when heinous Revenge they have Planned--aah!"

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Diane, look at yourself.

"Diane, look at yourself."

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I mean, no wonder You're such easy fodder For their little pranks.

"I mean, no wonder You're such easy fodder For their little pranks."

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Look, the problem is You take everything So seriously.

"Look, the problem is You take everything So seriously."

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Take it from me, Who used to do the same thing,

"Take it from me, Who used to do the same thing,"

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It's not worth it.

"It's not worth it."

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I'm much happier now that I let things bounce off of me,

"I'm much happier now that I let things bounce off of me,"

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Now that i'm happy-go-lucky Frasier crane.

"Now that i'm happy-go-lucky Frasier crane."

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Frasier, you're right.

"Frasier, you're right."

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I do take things Too seriously.

"I do take things Too seriously."

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I need to lighten up A little.

"I need to lighten up A little."

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Great. Now that we've Taken care of of that,

"Great. Now that we've Taken care of of that,"

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Do you think there's Any chance that you'll Ever love me again

"Do you think there's Any chance that you'll Ever love me again"

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Before i lie Moldering in the grave?

"Before i lie Moldering in the grave?"

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I'm joking, of course!

"I'm joking, of course!"

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It's just another example Of my devil-may-care attitude.

"It's just another example Of my devil-may-care attitude."

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Yeah. You've been A big help. Thank you.

"Yeah. You've been A big help. Thank you."

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Uh, diane, Somebody wants To talk to you.

"Uh, diane, Somebody wants To talk to you."

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Oh?

"Oh?"

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Yeah?

"Yeah?"

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Ms. Chambers, I'm martin gallagher,

"Ms. Chambers, I'm martin gallagher,"

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Wlbd public broadcasting.

"Wlbd public broadcasting."

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One of your professors At the university

"One of your professors At the university"

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Sent us some of your poetry,

"Sent us some of your poetry,"

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And we thought you'd Make a wonderful guest For our program,

"And we thought you'd Make a wonderful guest For our program,"

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"Boston's working poets."

""Boston's working poets.""

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Really? Yes.

"Really? Yes."

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You want me to appear On television?

"You want me to appear On television?"

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Yes. Oh, i'm honored.

"Yes. Oh, i'm honored."

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Well, You should be. Isn't that great?

"Well, You should be. Isn't that great?"

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Oh, yes. It's really...

"Oh, yes. It's really..."

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Unbelievable.

"Unbelievable."

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Why don't you Tell me a bit more About your show.

"Why don't you Tell me a bit more About your show."

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Well, the concept Is part-time poets In their working habitat,

"Well, the concept Is part-time poets In their working habitat,"

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Reading their own verse.

"Reading their own verse."

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Hmm. Won't that Be exciting? Why, yes.

"Hmm. Won't that Be exciting? Why, yes."

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Little old me On television. My, my, my.

"Little old me On television. My, my, my."

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Well, when do we Get started?

"Well, when do we Get started?"

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Well, wouldn't right now Be all right?

"Well, wouldn't right now Be all right?"

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Your mr. Malone has kindly Offered his pool room.

"Your mr. Malone has kindly Offered his pool room."

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Well, wasn't that nice Of him.

"Well, wasn't that nice Of him."

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Well, i guess right now Would be perfect, Wouldn't it?

"Well, i guess right now Would be perfect, Wouldn't it?"

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Well, good.

"Well, good."

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Well, let me Show you where To set up then.

"Well, let me Show you where To set up then."

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So nice of you To drop by cheers,

"So nice of you To drop by cheers,"

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Where i serve the public Many beers.

"Where i serve the public Many beers."

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This is it.

"This is it."

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Oh, are you sure?

"Oh, are you sure?"

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Uh-huh.

"Uh-huh."

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Well, i doubt if the Collective intelligence Of them

"Well, i doubt if the Collective intelligence Of them"

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Could devise this Complicated a ruse.

"Could devise this Complicated a ruse."

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I'm absolutely sure.

"I'm absolutely sure."

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They expect me To give a sensitive rendition Of my poetry.

"They expect me To give a sensitive rendition Of my poetry."

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And then at some future date,

"And then at some future date,"

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They'll play it back While they swill beer

"They'll play it back While they swill beer"

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And throw spit wads At the screen

"And throw spit wads At the screen"

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And make unpleasant Animal noises.

"And make unpleasant Animal noises."

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Well, i'm not Going to fall for it.

"Well, i'm not Going to fall for it."

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I have a little surprise For them.

"I have a little surprise For them."

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Now, That's the spirit.

"Now, That's the spirit."

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Oh, diane, what a couple We'd have made.

"Oh, diane, what a couple We'd have made."

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2 Irrepressible zanies.

"2 Irrepressible zanies."

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Oh, ms. Chambers?

"Oh, ms. Chambers?"

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What kind of poetry Are you going to recite?

"What kind of poetry Are you going to recite?"

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Ah, you, too, woody.

"Ah, you, too, woody."

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Oh, what a tangled web We weave

"Oh, what a tangled web We weave"

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When first we practice To deceive.

"When first we practice To deceive."

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I hate to burst your bubble, But i've heard that before.

"I hate to burst your bubble, But i've heard that before."

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We're ready for you, Ms. Chambers.

"We're ready for you, Ms. Chambers."

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Yes, i'm sure you are. And i'm ready for you.

"Yes, i'm sure you are. And i'm ready for you."

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Just stand over here.

"Just stand over here."

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Aren't you going To give me a clever Introduction?

"Aren't you going To give me a clever Introduction?"

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We'll dub that in later.

"We'll dub that in later."

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Oh, why didn't I think of that?

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?"

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All right, roll camera.

"All right, roll camera."

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And as soon as you're ready, Ms. Chambers, just begin.

"And as soon as you're ready, Ms. Chambers, just begin."

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Well, i would like to begin With one of my favorites,

"Well, i would like to begin With one of my favorites,"

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And i hope you'll Like it, too.

"And i hope you'll Like it, too."

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It's called "Ode to a cornish hen."

"It's called "Ode to a cornish hen.""

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Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok.

"Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok."

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Bok. Bok. Bok.

"Bok. Bok. Bok."

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Bok. Bok.

"Bok. Bok."

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Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok.

"Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok."

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Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok .Bok. Bok.

"Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok. Bok .Bok. Bok."

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[All laughing]

"[All laughing]"

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Diane: sam, if you have An ounce of humanity,

"Diane: sam, if you have An ounce of humanity,"

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Turn that off.

"Turn that off."

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All: aw.

"All: aw."

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What'd you think You were doing up there?

"What'd you think You were doing up there?"

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I didn't think It was a real show.

"I didn't think It was a real show."

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Are you kidding me?

"Are you kidding me?"

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I mean, who would make up Something that boring?

"I mean, who would make up Something that boring?"

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Diane: Well, i thought you did.

"Diane: Well, i thought you did."

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I thought it was a joke.

"I thought it was a joke."

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I figured that you set it up To get back at me

"I figured that you set it up To get back at me"

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Because of my psychology Experiment.

"Because of my psychology Experiment."

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Ah, what a great joke. I wish he had thought of that.

"Ah, what a great joke. I wish he had thought of that."

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I can't think Of it now.

"I can't think Of it now."

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I made an absolute ass Of myself.

"I made an absolute ass Of myself."

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Oh, come on, diane. Lighten up.

"Oh, come on, diane. Lighten up."

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It wasn't that bad. It really wasn't.

"It wasn't that bad. It really wasn't."

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Heck, no. I've known Chickens who can't do That as well as you can.

"Heck, no. I've known Chickens who can't do That as well as you can."

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Oh, hey, come on. It's no big deal.

"Oh, hey, come on. It's no big deal."

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Nobody watches that stuff.

"Nobody watches that stuff."

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It's not just the show.

"It's not just the show."

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