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Clips from The Great North - Wanted: Delmer Alive Adventure (S02E02)

"there was a pack of counselors who only cared about being cool."
The Great North
"And the two dudes who cared the most"
The Great North
"were Deppy and Lawler."
The Great North
"They were both out to impress the hot girl counselor Kinberly."
The Great North
"And Duke was there, too."
The Great North
"Yeah, we hid the keg Lawler got in the woods."
The Great North
"We're totally gonna party tonight."
The Great North
"Gonna get so twisted."
The Great North
"I'm gonna get twisted and scrambled."
The Great North
"How about you, Beef, You gonna get warped?"
The Great North
"No. I am not."
The Great North
"I plan to spend my free time honing my survival skills."
The Great North
"Whatever, Beef. Have fun surviving."
The Great North
"Then Delmer walked over to Dad"
The Great North
"for what's called the "tickling the baby" moment in the movie."
The Great North
"It's when the hero does something cool early on"
The Great North
"-to make you like them. - Hey, Beef,"
The Great North
"you got that friction fire going nice and quick."
The Great North
"So why the frown?"
The Great North
"It's just that I thought all the other counselors here"
The Great North
"would be serious, outdoor-minded people,"
The Great North
"not a bunch of darn Silly Billies."
The Great North
"Okay, Beef, first, let's watch our language."
The Great North
"Sorry, Delmer. Just because I don't like to get warped"
The Great North
"or fizzled or zip-zapped, I'm not cool?"
The Great North
"It's frustrating."
The Great North
"I know a lot of counselors here are real Party Patricks,"
The Great North
"and you're more of a fellow friend of nature."
The Great North
"But I'm always happy to work on survival skills with you, Beef."
The Great North
"- Aw, that'd be great. - Well, first thing is my favorite knot."
The Great North
"Watch me. That's a quick-release knot."
The Great North
"Now, how about some advanced pocketknife skills?"
The Great North
"One thing I like to do is open all the little doodads on mine"
The Great North
"- and use it as a throwing star. Oh, and that's"
The Great North
"one of those pieces of dialogue you should pay attention to,"
The Great North
"because it'll probably come back around later."
The Great North
"Oop! Look what time it is."
The Great North
"I think it's Rice Krispie Treat o'clock down at the mess hall."
The Great North
"Then there was one of those shots"
The Great North
"where you see them walking away together all nice,"
The Great North
"but then some weird"
The Great North
"♪ Ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee. ♪"
The Great North
"And it's clear that the nice part of the movie is over"
The Great North
"and it's about to get creepy."
The Great North
"That night the cool counselors were partying in the woods."
The Great North
"Gross!"
The Great North
"This beer tastes like spicy beans!"
The Great North
"Oh, my God! What the hell is all this chunky stuff"
The Great North
"- on the side of the keg? - I don't know."
The Great North
"I found the keg sitting in the sun"
The Great North
"behind that abandoned chili restaurant"
The Great North
"near the toxic waste dump that's owned by that cult."
The Great North
"Oh, Chaz's Killer Chili. Love that place."
The Great North
"Well, I'm definitely never making out with you now."
The Great North
"Unless I'm super bored."
The Great North
"Let's get out of here, Kinberly."
The Great North
"I've got some Swatch watches in my cabin I want to show you."
The Great North
"Tubular. And I want to talk about how much I love"
The Great North
"the Berlin Wall."
The Great North
"Way to go, Lawler, you dingus."
The Great North
"- You blew it! But that wasn't the end"
The Great North
"of the skunky chili beer keg. Oh, no."
The Great North
"Because one inquisitive little ground squirrel came along"
The Great North
"and decided to take a spicy bite."
The Great North
"And then-- oh, no!"
The Great North
"The squirrel was trapped in the toxic chili keg."
The Great North
"And that chili wasn't the only thing"
The Great North
"that was about to be killer."
The Great North
"This is when everyone in the theater"
The Great North
"who has popcorn in their lap jumps,"
The Great North
"and a little popcorn goes flying."
The Great North
"And they say, "Aw, dang, my popcorn!""
The Great North
"And that's what it's like to get"
The Great North
"a drive-on on the lot, according to the book"
The Great North
"by the guys who wrote Night at the Museum. Anyway,"
The Great North
"the monster squirrel, fueled by chili beer,"
The Great North
"set its sights on the camp."
The Great North
"Hello? Anyone there?"
The Great North
"Deppy?"
The Great North
"After all that chili talk, I got a hankering."
The Great North
"Aah!"
The Great North
"Okay."
The Great North
"You got me. Very funny."
The Great North
"As Lawler walks to check the creaking door,"
The Great North
"we switch to the killer's POV,"
The Great North
"and we hear its heavy murderer breath."
The Great North
"-Like this..."
The Great North
"My chili!"
The Great North
"- No! He plunged his giant squirrel teeth"
The Great North
"-right into Lawler's neck! - Aah!"
The Great North
"Ripped his head off and shook it around a little bit."
The Great North
"Blood goes everywhere."
The Great North
"Splat, splip, sploop."
The Great North
"And now the monster killer squirrel has a taste"
The Great North
"for skunky beer, killer chili, and the blood of hunky teens."
The Great North
"But then it's a little later."
The Great North
"Enter Beef. And he's all like, "Uh-oh,""
The Great North
"'cause there's no Lawler,"
The Great North
"only his signature fanny pack laying there all spooky."
The Great North
"- What the...? - Let's get some eggs, throw 'em at birds."
The Great North
"They'll be like, "Whoa! Eggs!"
The Great North
"Usually these come out of my butt! No way!""
The Great North
"Guys, don't throw eggs. It's wasteful."
The Great North
"Says the guy who threw strawberry jelly everywhere."
The Great North
"- It's not jelly. It's blood. - Gross!"
The Great North
"Ugh! Ever heard of a Band-Aid, bro?"
The Great North
"Ugh. Listen, Lawler is missing, which I've deduced"
The Great North
"because his fanny pack is lying here without him."
The Great North
"Let's wake Delmer. He'll know what to do."
The Great North
"No way. Delmer's old, and that sucks."
The Great North
"Let's go out on our own with no adults at all."
The Great North
"So they headed out into the woods."
The Great North
"Lawler, where are you?"
The Great North
"We have your fanny pack, bro!"
The Great North
"Lawler! You left all your blood in the kitchen!"
The Great North
"Quiet. We don't know what's out here."
The Great North
"Oh, quiet like this?"
The Great North
"Aah!"
The Great North
"Oh, great. Where did Kinberly go?"
The Great North
"We were supposed to make out later."
The Great North
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