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Clips from Royal Pains - Saab Story (S08E08)

"Cut. Actually, we're filming a segment here."
Royal Pains
"That little pissant! Think of how much work"
Royal Pains
"I put in that photo shoot. I was so ready."
Royal Pains
"Look at me. Don't I look ready?"
Royal Pains
"- You look agitated. - Well, wouldn't you be?"
Royal Pains
"I have no idea what we're talking about."
Royal Pains
"The shoot, Hank. I'm talking... I'm trying to..."
Royal Pains
"- Deep breaths. - I'm telling you."
Royal Pains
"I... all right, I got to sit down."
Royal Pains
"Yeah, please. Have a seat."
Royal Pains
"Your stress level is concerning me."
Royal Pains
"I got out of there pretty fast."
Royal Pains
"I had to pack a bag, right?"
Royal Pains
"I had to make it look believable."
Royal Pains
"How dare that kid!"
Royal Pains
"Hey, are you having any chest pains?"
Royal Pains
"Yeah. I'm actually feeling a little bit winded."
Royal Pains
"You're also tachycardic and sweaty."
Royal Pains
"Hank, we should work him up"
Royal Pains
"for a possible myocardial infarction."
Royal Pains
"- Mm-hmm. - What the hell is that?"
Royal Pains
"A heart attack."
Royal Pains
"If that kiss-ass ingrate gave me a heart attack..."
Royal Pains
"You were most likely in supraventricular tachycardia,"
Royal Pains
"but the carotid vagal maneuver"
Royal Pains
"has got you back in normal sinus rhythm."
Royal Pains
"The EKG might give us a fuller picture of what is wrong."
Royal Pains
"It's probably just a panic attack."
Royal Pains
"I'm still not clear on what got you so worked up."
Royal Pains
"You... you walked out of a photo shoot?"
Royal Pains
"No. Not just any photo shoot."
Royal Pains
"I was gonna be in Sports Illustrated."
Royal Pains
"With other agents?"
Royal Pains
"Not just any agents."
Royal Pains
"Superstar agents with their superstar athlete clients."
Royal Pains
"I set the whole thing up. It's called Naked Ambition."
Royal Pains
"But it's tasteful naked. It's not porn."
Royal Pains
"- Oh, okay. - So I get to the shoot,"
Royal Pains
"and I find out I'm standing next to Rick The Prick Peterson."
Royal Pains
"He's this junior agent in the same agency as me."
Royal Pains
"Turns out he's stolen one of my prospective clients."
Royal Pains
"Total douche move."
Royal Pains
"How do you know he stole your client?"
Royal Pains
"Well, it's what I would have done."
Royal Pains
"It's what I did do."
Royal Pains
"But the guy was old. He was off his game."
Royal Pains
"It wasn't like I took down a lion in his prime."
Royal Pains
"About that..."
Royal Pains
"Looks like your heart isn't quite in its prime."
Royal Pains
"There are some nonspecific ST-T changes."
Royal Pains
"Q waves. Left atrial and left ventricular hypertrophy."
Royal Pains
"Something unnatural"
Royal Pains
"is causing the chambers of your heart to dilate."
Royal Pains
"I will schedule an echocardiogram."
Royal Pains
"Good. Thank you."
Royal Pains
"So I'm the wounded antelope instead of the lion?"
Royal Pains
"No, no, no. No. No."
Royal Pains
"- That cannot happen. - Listen to me."
Royal Pains
"- No, that... - Listen to me."
Royal Pains
"If I'm going to help you, I need to know what's wrong,"
Royal Pains
"and the only way that's going to happen"
Royal Pains
"is if you get a more thorough workup."
Royal Pains
"I'm supposed to be on my way to Miami"
Royal Pains
"to care for my sick dad."
Royal Pains
"It's the only way I could put the kibosh on the photo shoot."
Royal Pains
"Your father died when we were in college."
Royal Pains
"I know... isn't it great"
Royal Pains
"he can finally do something nice for me?"
Royal Pains
"- Okay. - Look. I can't risk anybody"
Royal Pains
"from my agency finding out that I'm still in the Hamptons,"
Royal Pains
"especially Peterson."
Royal Pains
"I got to figure out a way to get that Gen Y triathlon butt"
Royal Pains
"kicked off of my photo shoot."
Royal Pains
"You'll have plenty of time to do that in the cath lab."
Royal Pains
"Look, I'm sure you're scared."
Royal Pains
"- I'm not scared. - Okay. Okay."
Royal Pains
"I'm terrified."
Royal Pains
"Hey, what..."
Royal Pains
"Did I miss our appointment?"
Royal Pains
"I told you last night"
Royal Pains
"I had to move it because of that appraisal with the hoarder."
Royal Pains
"I mean collector."
Royal Pains
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot."
Royal Pains
"How'd it go?"
Royal Pains
"It's not T day."
Royal Pains
"My follicles have stalled at 16,"
Royal Pains
"but the doctor said not to worry."
Royal Pains
"It doesn't mean that they won't grow to 18 by tomorrow, so..."
Royal Pains
"So maybe T day will be soon?"
Royal Pains
"Maybe."
Royal Pains
"Look."
Royal Pains
"I really want to be more helpful to you,"
Royal Pains
"so I went online to see if there's some way"
Royal Pains
"to help with your side effects,"
Royal Pains
"and I found something really interesting."
Royal Pains
"Oh, that's good. Okay."
Royal Pains
"When you said side effects why did you use air quotes?"
Royal Pains
"- Oh, did I do that? - Yeah. It was so weird."
Royal Pains
"I didn't even know. I know... well, I did that"
Royal Pains
"because it turns out a lot of your symptoms are psychosomatic."
Royal Pains
"That means you can stop having them."
Royal Pains
"Oh!"
Royal Pains
"- Isn't that great? - That's so good to know."
Royal Pains
"- So I can just stop being tired. - Yeah."
Royal Pains
"- And bloated. - Yeah."
Royal Pains
"- And nauseous. - Uh, yeah."
Royal Pains
"And this runny nose isn't real."
Royal Pains
"No, no, no. I'm not saying your side effects aren't real,"
Royal Pains
"babe, at all. They're real."
Royal Pains
"It's just your mind that's creating them,"
Royal Pains
"not your hormones."
Royal Pains
"So I can help you,"
Royal Pains
"and together we can stop them."
Royal Pains
"- Oh, we can stop them. - Yeah."
Royal Pains
"Yeah."
Royal Pains
"Can we stop the rash on my injection site"
Royal Pains
"and the river of sweat that is dripping down my back,"
Royal Pains
"or is this just not real either?"
Royal Pains
"- Shh. Paige, all I'm... - Did you just shush me?"
Royal Pains
"Look, I work here, so..."
Royal Pains
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