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Clips from HouseBroken (2021) - Who Are You? (S01E01)

"‐ So, my mom, my dad,"
HouseBroken (2021)
"and my Randy are gonna end joint custody"
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"and let a meaty gator decide who gets me!"
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"‐ Hm."
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"[munching]"
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"‐ Do you mean mediator?"
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"And if so, they tend to be human."
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"‐ Oh, that's a relief."
HouseBroken (2021)
"‐ If Clooney ever kicks Amal to the curb,"
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"I know who I'd get to live with."
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"I mean, Georgie boy"
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"literally built a Max statue in his backyard"
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"and commissioned Dave Matthews to write a song about me."
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"‐ ♪ [singing gibberish]"
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"‐ At least I think it was about me."
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"‐ If you're done bragging, I have a share. [chuckles]"
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"Turns out Ella B wanted to take me home from school"
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"so Sophie R didn't get me."
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"‐ [chuckling] Classic Ella B."
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"‐ You know Ella B?"
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"‐ She's the youngest human in my household."
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"Nibbles has joined the Bronson menagerie"
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"and we are cohabitating."
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"‐ Shel? ‐ Nibbles?"
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"‐ You never told us you live with other animals."
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"‐ Look, I come here to talk about me."
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"‐ Oh, there are other animals!"
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"I'm stuck in the basement between a snake"
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"and a mouse that won't shut up!"
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"‐ Let's set some ground rules right up top. No secrets."
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"I'm gonna share everything that comes into my head."
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"You share everything that comes into yours."
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"I know what you're thinking."
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"You're gonna get a lot of cheese talk."
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"But guess what? I'm also a student of history."
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"Did you know during the crusades,"
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"they would age cheese in the skulls of heretics?"
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"‐ Ah, cheese."
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"My uncle once dated a wheel of parmesan."
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"Of course, after their wedding night,"
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"she looked more like Swiss. [chuckles]"
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"[upbeat rock music]"
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"‐ ♪ [musical barking]"
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"♪"
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"‐ ♪ [musical oinking]"
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"‐ ♪ [musical meowing]"
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"♪"
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"♪ [animals vocalizing together] ♪"
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"♪"
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"‐ Breakfast! M‐larf, m‐larf, m‐larf, m‐larf."
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"‐ [chuckles uncomfortably]"
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"Chief, is it, um, is it possible, um‐‐"
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"cool if it's not‐‐um, for you to eat without m‐larf‐ing?"
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"‐ Are you looking for a more traditional num‐num?"
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"Num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num..."
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"‐ You know what? I'm gonna save my breakfast for lunch."
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"‐ Num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num."
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"[soft dramatic music]"
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"♪"
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"‐ [sighs]"
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"‐ Looking for moi?"
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"[dreamy electric guitar music]"
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"‐ Oh, hi. No, I was just‐‐ no, I was looking for my, um,"
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"this, um, pinecone! [chuckles]"
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"[mouth full] Found it! [chuckles]"
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"‐ Come on."
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"I watch you every day scanning the trees‐‐"
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"‐ Ants! Ah."
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"So you, uh, watch me every day?"
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"‐ Not in a creepy way."
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"More of a sniff‐where‐you‐ just‐peed kinda way."
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"‐ Aw."
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"[sneezes] Stupid ants."
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"‐ My pack is moving to Altadena."
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"I want you to come with."
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"‐ What? We barely know each other."
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"‐ Oh, I'm sorry. [chuckles]"
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"Let me give you my butt backstory."
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"[energetic '80s music]"
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"♪"
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"‐ [howling]"
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"‐ Dude!"
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"‐ [shouting in fright]"
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"♪"
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"‐ Merry Christmas, kid."
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"‐ Whoa. That is wild."
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"‐ You deserve more than this humdrum suburban existence."
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"‐ Oh, it's not all humdrum. Take a whiff."
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"[pleasant waltz]"
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"♪"
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"[laughing]"
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"♪"
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"[horn honking]"
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"♪"
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"So, you know, I can get crazy, too."
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"Although I've only poked a bear metaphorically."
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"‐ Run away with me, Honey."
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"Let me show you what's behind those trees."
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"I mean, it's mostly more trees. But behind those‐‐"
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"‐ Okay."
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"I mean, okay, no. I can't run away with you."
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"I‐‐becau‐‐you're kidding. And I took you seriously."
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"[laughs]"
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"But wait, are you serious?"
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"‐ I am serious, Honey. ‐ How do you know my name?"
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"‐ Honey! Honey!"
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"I got into it with the trashcan again."
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"‐ Altadena."
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"[dreamy electric guitar music]"
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"‐ Num, num, num."
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"‐ [scarfing loudly] [cats meowing]"
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"‐ Ugh!"
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"Look at the story my body tell."
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"I was replaced by a new kitten, ran away,"
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"was traumatized at a cat cafe,"
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"and now I am here with greasy coat."
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"Which reminds me, Gray One,"
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"I never thank you for taking me in."
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"‐ Oh, that was the thank you."
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"‐ I'll kill you!"
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