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Clips from Parks and Recreation - The Banquet (S01E01)

"Always thought we'd make a great team."
Parks and Recreation
"You know? He's handsome, I'm a cutie pie."
Parks and Recreation
"He's laid back. I'm more in your face, but in a fun way."
Parks and Recreation
"Ladies don't stand a chance."
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"Uh... What's with the hat?"
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"It's called peacocking."
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"Basically, I'm wearing something"
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"that kind of makes me stand out, like a peacock."
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"So, the girls will be like, "Hey, what's with that hat?""
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"I'm gonna go peacock it out. I'll be back."
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"Okay."
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"Thank you, Tony, for those inspiring twitches and blinks."
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"I think we're gonna meet a little earlier than what you said."
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"How about Monday?"
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"Call my secretary and we'll set it up."
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"Not good enough."
Parks and Recreation
"- Not good enough? - Nope."
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"I know about things."
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"Well, my schedule is my schedule."
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"So, I'm just gonna get back to my dessert."
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"Drive much?"
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"- Excuse me? - Your husband."
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"Does he drive much"
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"out of state?"
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"I know that your husband is a drunk driver."
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"My mom told me."
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"What do you want?"
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"Uh..."
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"Just saying. I..."
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"- Get out. - Oh, my God."
Parks and Recreation
"- I'm so sorry. - Mmm-hmm."
Parks and Recreation
"- I don't know what came over me. - Leave."
Parks and Recreation
"I hope your husband gets help and that you have a long and happy marriage."
Parks and Recreation
"Stacy, Becky tells me that you two are both real estate agents."
Parks and Recreation
"That must be fun."
Parks and Recreation
"Uh-huh."
Parks and Recreation
"Any cool stories you got, huh?"
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"- Um... - What do you mean?"
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"Like, I don't know, anything weird or funny happen"
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"when you guys are showing people houses?"
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"Um..."
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"One time, I forgot my keys to one of the houses."
Parks and Recreation
"Whoa!"
Parks and Recreation
"Oh, my God, you do that, too?"
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"Yeah. I've done that. That's the worst."
Parks and Recreation
"Then you have to drive all the way back,"
Parks and Recreation
"and then you have to be like, "I forgot my keys.""
Parks and Recreation
"And then they're like, "You did that twice.""
Parks and Recreation
"Look at these guys! The key-forgetting twins!"
Parks and Recreation
"I'll be right back."
Parks and Recreation
"Can I settle up, please?"
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"Dude. What is your problem?"
Parks and Recreation
"What? Becky and Stacy are both really into you,"
Parks and Recreation
"and you're blowing it with them. And that's making them lose interest in me."
Parks and Recreation
"Becky and Stacy are boring."
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"I need you back there, man."
Parks and Recreation
"I've seen you hook up with more trashy chicks"
Parks and Recreation
"in the last year than I can count, all right?"
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"If there was a Tellenson Award for hooking up with trashy chicks all the time,"
Parks and Recreation
"you'd have several of those awards."
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"You're the king. You're my hero."
Parks and Recreation
"Tom, I'm gonna get out of here."
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"I'll see you Monday, okay?"
Parks and Recreation
"- Hey. - Hi."
Parks and Recreation
"Come on in."
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"I just wanted to tell you that I didn't go through with it,"
Parks and Recreation
"blackmailing that woman."
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"I tried, but I just couldn't do it."
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"Good. That's a good thing."
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"It wasn't you."
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"You know, there was definitely some truth"
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"about that thing you said about me and Andy."
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"No. What?"
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"Yeah."
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"- I'm sorry. - Me, too."
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"Oh."
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"Whoa! Hey! What the hell?"
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"Oh. Hi, Leslie."
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"I thought you were a dude."
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"The people who win awards aren't always the best people."
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"I mean, I think Ann and I are really good people,"
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"and someday others will see that and we'll get our due."
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"Would I like to win a Tellenson Award like my mom did? Sure."
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"But my dad never won an award, and he was always happy."
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"He lives in Florida, in a cemetery."
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"The point is, my mom is alive and I love her. She's one tough cookie."
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"That's why everybody calls her "The Iron -- of Pawnee.""
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"Fondly."
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"Yes, I'm married."
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"But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies."
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"The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her"
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"is a disappointment to both of us."
Parks and Recreation