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Clips from The Sitter

"God damn it, my fucking shin."
The Sitter
"I'm just trying to help."
The Sitter
"All I know is, is I'm going to be a famous celebrity"
The Sitter
"who designs on the side, and I'm going to be rich."
The Sitter
"What the hell are you talking about?"
The Sitter
"You do know that just being a celebrity and"
The Sitter
"having a good time is not a real job, right?"
The Sitter
"Yeah, it is! Being a famous celebrity"
The Sitter
"is the greatest thing in the world!"
The Sitter
"It means people take your picture."
The Sitter
"You get to have birthday parties at"
The Sitter
"the coolest clubs and dance on tables."
The Sitter
"Even for a small child, you sound like an idiot."
The Sitter
"(NOAH SIGHS)"
The Sitter
"What are you walking away for?"
The Sitter
"What's your problem, drama queen?"
The Sitter
"My problem is that my best friend Clayton"
The Sitter
"doesn't want to hang out with me any more"
The Sitter
"because he doesn't like me back,"
The Sitter
"and he'd rather hang out with an asshole named Benji Gillespie."
The Sitter
"That is my problem!"
The Sitter
"Okay, well..."
The Sitter
"You'll make another friend."
The Sitter
"No."
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"No, I won't."
The Sitter
"Well, I don't know the inner workings of your friendship,"
The Sitter
"but if he doesn't like you, then screw him."
The Sitter
"(HORN BLARING)"
The Sitter
"All right, train's coming!"
The Sitter
"Let's go!"
The Sitter
"If you only knew what it was like"
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"Hoping that you see the light"
The Sitter
"And you always put up a fight"
The Sitter
"I get lost within your stare"
The Sitter
"(INAUDIBLE)"
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"When we breathe the same air"
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"I see you everywhere"
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"Oh, if you only knew"
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"BLITHE: Whoa."
The Sitter
"NOAH: It's like actual China."
The Sitter
"Excuse me. Is this Wing's Fish Market?"
The Sitter
"You must be Noah Griffith. Mr. Karl is expecting you."
The Sitter
"Wait here, all right?"
The Sitter
"So."
The Sitter
"Did you get my money? (CLEARS THROAT) Um..."
The Sitter
"Garv, can I get some chili flakes, please?"
The Sitter
"(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) Garv, honey."
The Sitter
"Look at me. Look at me!"
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"Uh, yes, I have money right here."
The Sitter
"Garv? Oh, boy. Here you go. I got it."
The Sitter
"Not listening. He's got the headphones on."
The Sitter
"I got the cash right here for you. Here you go."
The Sitter
"So how do you guys all know each other?"
The Sitter
"KARL: What the fuck difference does it make?"
The Sitter
"JULIO: We got a problem. What's the problem?"
The Sitter
"My man! You got $3,000 here."
The Sitter
"You are short $7,000!"
The Sitter
"Short?"
The Sitter
"Okay, I have checks."
The Sitter
"Are you kidding me? Checks, yes."
The Sitter
"Checks! What's the matter with you? (LAUGHING)"
The Sitter
"Who the fuck is Wendy Sapperstein?"
The Sitter
"The Sappersteins are loaded,"
The Sitter
"so they're not gonna miss the money at all."
The Sitter
"Garv! Please, chili flakes! You don't listen!"
The Sitter
"So you can sign the check over to yourself."
The Sitter
"KARL: I'll count to three."
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"One. Sign the checks over?"
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"Two. Yeah, sign the checks over to yourself."
The Sitter
"Three. Good night."
The Sitter
"(GARV CRYING OUT IN PAIN)"
The Sitter
"Did you hear that?"
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"GARV: (SOBBING) Why'd you do that?"
The Sitter
"Drop him off at the podiatrist."
The Sitter
"Make his mom a mix CD with an apology letter."
The Sitter
"(WAILING)"
The Sitter
"JULIO: I told you, dawg. Now your foot match your asshole."
The Sitter
"(SPEAKING CANTONESE)"
The Sitter
"Hey! Hey, Karl!"
The Sitter
"Hey, Marisa."
The Sitter
"Where you at? I'm at a party!"
The Sitter
"A party? What?"
The Sitter
"I'm always down to party."
The Sitter
"All right, text me the address. All right, baby."
The Sitter
"We're gonna meet you at this party at midnight."
The Sitter
"If you don't have my seven grand,"
The Sitter
"Julio's gonna tickle your girlfriend's asshole with a feather."
The Sitter
"How'd you get that name "The Feather" again?"
The Sitter
"Let me tell the story, man. My joint got a little curve to it."
The Sitter
"So I go up in there, and it tickles the lady's asshole."
The Sitter
"Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle."
The Sitter
"My joint goes in and comes out at the same time"
The Sitter
"you know what I'm saying? Tickle, tickle."
The Sitter
"Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. Yeah."
The Sitter
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
The Sitter
"See, when I'm stoking, I see the head,"
The Sitter
"although I'm in it, my head is popping out."
The Sitter
"Still, like that. Like a U-turn."
The Sitter
"My joint make a U-turn in that ass."
The Sitter
"The Feather is in effect since 1981, son."
The Sitter
"My joint be pop-locking in that ass."
The Sitter
"It go in your ass and come out your ass, like that."
The Sitter
"See what I'm saying?"
The Sitter
"Come here. Give me a hug."
The Sitter
"Give him a fucking hug! Don't be shy."
The Sitter
"You're so shy. Come here."
The Sitter
"Hug me tight."
The Sitter
"It's okay. It's our little secret."
The Sitter
"But I want you to think about something."
The Sitter
"Garv was my third best friend in the world,"
The Sitter
"and I shot him in the feet for being a bad listener."
The Sitter
"You're my eighth best friend in the world,"
The Sitter
"and you stole from me. From my home!"
The Sitter
"You're gonna meet me at that party at midnight."
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"And if you don't get my seven grand,"
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"let's just say it's gonna be bad."
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"Real fucking bad!"
The Sitter
"Now get out of here!"
The Sitter
"Stop staring at me with those gorgeous eyes."
The Sitter
"All right, guys, let's go."
The Sitter
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