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Clips from The Sitter

"Wendy Sapperstein is having her Bat Mitzvah tonight,"
The Sitter
"and she said it was okay if some boys wanted to crash it."
The Sitter
"But we only want the super-cute boys."
The Sitter
"I don't know if I could make it tonight."
The Sitter
"My parents aren't home,"
The Sitter
"and I'm not really supposed to go anywhere."
The Sitter
"Well, if you want to come, you can text us."
The Sitter
"Yeah, text us, definitely."
The Sitter
"Okay."
The Sitter
"I'll see you later, guys."
The Sitter
"TWIN 1: Okay, cool!"
The Sitter
"(PHONE RINGING)"
The Sitter
"What's cooking, good-looking?"
The Sitter
"You know what? I'm at a party."
The Sitter
"Party? I thought you had food poisoning."
The Sitter
"I did, and then Steph called me,"
The Sitter
"and she invited me to this party."
The Sitter
"Do you want to come? Damn!"
The Sitter
"I'm doing something for my mom right now."
The Sitter
"I really, really want to see you."
The Sitter
"I'm actually, like, super-horny for you,"
The Sitter
"and I was thinking we could have sex."
The Sitter
"Like intercourse sex?"
The Sitter
"Yeah, like full-on vaginal sex."
The Sitter
"(NOAH CLEARING THROAT)"
The Sitter
"Yeah, I think I can work something out. Yeah. For sure."
The Sitter
"Awesome."
The Sitter
"Listen, will you do me a favor and pick up some coke on your way?"
The Sitter
"Yeah, sure. Do you want anything else, like beer, mixers?"
The Sitter
"(LAUGHS) No, I mean, like"
The Sitter
"(IN SING-SONG) coke!"
The Sitter
"You mean blow?"
The Sitter
"I thought you were done with that stuff. That stuff's bad news."
The Sitter
"I am done with it. It's not for me. It's for Steph,"
The Sitter
"and it's her birthday. She asked me for it."
The Sitter
"I'm just trying to be a really good friend about it."
The Sitter
"I don't even know where I'd get something like that."
The Sitter
"Just call Karl."
The Sitter
"Who's Karl?"
The Sitter
"He's just a super-awesome guy who sells me drugs."
The Sitter
"Used to sell me drugs."
The Sitter
"(EXHALING) Noah..."
The Sitter
"I only have 150 bucks."
The Sitter
"That's more than enough."
The Sitter
"Just ask for one ticket, and he'll hook it up."
The Sitter
"Leave me alone, asshole! I'm on the phone with my boyfriend."
The Sitter
"Did you just call me your boyfriend?"
The Sitter
"Yeah, I guess I did. So are you coming or not?"
The Sitter
"Hello? Are you there?"
The Sitter
"Yeah. Fuck it. I'm in."
The Sitter
"Holy shit balls."
The Sitter
"A minivan."
The Sitter
"That car's not hot at all."
The Sitter
"NOAH: As much as I hate to do this,"
The Sitter
"we're going on a little field trip."
The Sitter
"(KIDS SHOUTING)"
The Sitter
"(KIDS CONTINUE SHOUTING)"
The Sitter
"What is your deal? Why are you wearing so much makeup?"
The Sitter
"(SINGING) Looking real fly on my way to the club"
The Sitter
"Gonna dance all night and get fucked up"
The Sitter
"BLITHE: Say whatever you want. I know I look good."
The Sitter
"All right, one of you guys has to hop up here with me."
The Sitter
"I'm not your chauffeur."
The Sitter
"What if you hit somebody or something?"
The Sitter
"I mean, it's safer for children to be in the back seat."
The Sitter
"You are such a bitch. Grow a set of nuts."
The Sitter
"I beat him for you."
The Sitter
"Get his ass. Guys."
The Sitter
"Not again. Stop being such children."
The Sitter
"Hit him in the face, dawg! Go away."
The Sitter
"Stop it. One thing about Rodrigo."
The Sitter
"He's not a bitch, I'll tell you that much."
The Sitter
"(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)"
The Sitter
"(LAUGHING) Slater, seriously,"
The Sitter
"tell me you are not wearing a fanny pack."
The Sitter
"Tell me I'm imagining that and that's not what I'm actually seeing."
The Sitter
"I need it to carry my pills."
The Sitter
"Why do you take those pills anyway?"
The Sitter
"I already told you, I have issues."
The Sitter
"Issues?"
The Sitter
"You look like a Gap model!"
The Sitter
"When I was your age, I had a mouth full of braces"
The Sitter
"and a face like a Papa John's pizza."
The Sitter
"Those are real issues, my man."
The Sitter
"Whatever."
The Sitter
"BLITHE: I've got a good idea. Why don't we go to a dance club?"
The Sitter
"Why don't we play a game?"
The Sitter
"Like Spin the Bottle?"
The Sitter
"No, not like Spin the Bottle,"
The Sitter
"like a little game I invented called the Shut-the-Fuck-Up Game."
The Sitter
"First person not to shut the fuck up loses. Ready? Go."
The Sitter
"(FARTING)"
The Sitter
"(GROANS) Come on, Rodrigo, you just lost, buddy."
The Sitter
"It was not me."
The Sitter
"(GIGGLING)"
The Sitter
"NOAH: Slater, that's disgusting."
The Sitter
"Didn't your parents teach you not to fart in the car?"
The Sitter
"You just crop-dusted me."
The Sitter
"No, that was not me."
The Sitter
"Uh-oh. What's "uh-oh"?"
The Sitter
"It was me. I pooted."
The Sitter
"I don't think it was just a poot-poot."
The Sitter
"I sharted. (ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)"
The Sitter
"NOAH: Come on!"
The Sitter
"(SINGING) When you're shopping It's super-cool"
The Sitter
"Hey, Noah. Oh, my God, isn't this shirt so cute?"
The Sitter
"Oh, it's super-cute!"
The Sitter
"Can you get it for me?"
The Sitter
"Yeah! Of course. I'll get you anything you want"
The Sitter
"Seriously? No."
The Sitter
"Here, put these on."
The Sitter
"They're green. I wouldn't be caught dead in these."
The Sitter
"Don't shit your pants next time."
The Sitter
"Dressing room's over there. Clean up, or whatever."
The Sitter
"Can I help you, sir?"
The Sitter
"Huh?"
The Sitter
"Can I help you?"
The Sitter
"I'm just waiting for somebody."
The Sitter
"(LAUGHS) Yeah."
The Sitter
"Yup!"
The Sitter
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