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Clips from The Monkees - Case of the Missing Monkee (S01E01)

"So, again, let me thank you for this banquet."
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"um, um, war is war and, and peace is peace,"
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"and science is, uh, uh, science."
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"Bravo!"
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"You know, I don't think I've ever heard it put quite that way before."
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"What?"
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"Wonderful, wonderful speech."
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"Marvelous."
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"Professor? I certainly enjoyed your speech, sir."
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"Thank you, uh, and I have enjoyed your music very much. Thank you."
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"Professor, there is someone who is most anxious to see you."
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"It's a surprise. Excuse me, please."
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"Professor, I want you to meet someone. You'll be surprised."
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""They are taking me to the Remington Clinic.""
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"Hey, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the bandstand."
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"We gotta play, babe."
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"The professor gave me this sheet of paper."
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"Yeah, well, read it later. We gotta play."
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"Yeah."
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"Professor Schnitzler? Professor Schnitzler?"
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"Profe-Professor Schnitzler? Professor Schnitzler?"
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"Here we come, walkin' down the street"
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"We get the funniest looks from every one we meet"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around"
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"But we're too busy singing to put anybody down"
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"We're just tryin' to be friendly, come and watch us sing and play"
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"We're the young generation, and we've got something to say"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, you never know where we'll be found"
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"So you better get ready, we may be comin' to your town"
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"You know, it's not like Peter to take off in the middle of a gig."
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"Man, he sure takes a lot of looking after."
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"Oh, I don't know; not any more than the average aircraft carrier."
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"Yeah."
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"Oh, let's go check with the boss. Um, excuse me."
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"Don't do that."
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"Oh, um, listen. We're looking for a musician friend of ours."
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"Sandy-haired kind of guy."
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"Well, I don't know nothing about musicians,"
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"but, uh, you are musicians, no?"
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"Yeah, well, he's also a musician-"
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"Why are you not playing? Why don't"
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"you do what you've been hired for?"
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"Huh, that's a big help."
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"Wait a minute. I just remembered something."
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"What?"
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"What's that?"
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"This note, uh, Peter gave me."
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"What does it say?"
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""I am being taken to the Remington Clinic.""
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"Well, it's the only thing that makes any sense, uh."
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"I guess, Peter came here looking for the Professor. Let's go."
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"I kinda like it meself. It's a nice little-"
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"Uh, yes, boys. Can I help you?"
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"- Oh, yes. - Oh, yeah. We'd like-"
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"- Um, you see, it's, we, we- - We wanted-"
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"No, no. Listen. Let, let me do it, will you, please?"
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"We're looking for a friend of ours."
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"His name's, uh, Peter Tork, and we have reason to"
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"believe that he came here looking for a, um, a, Professor Sh, Sh, Shn, Sh..."
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"Um, Snapler. Uh, no, it's, uh-"
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"Sna-"
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"- Schnitzler? - Right. Right."
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"I am sorry. We have no Professor Schnitzler here."
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"Uh, what does your young friend look like?"
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"Well, he's about, uh, you know, he's five ten,"
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"he's got light brown hair and sort of,"
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"uh, gray-green eyes, and, um, he's got a little button nose."
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"Yeah, it buttons right over his lower lip."
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"He's very emotional."
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"Yeah, he cries at card tricks."
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"Aw. And what did you say his name was?"
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"Tork."
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"Um, Taylor, Thompson,"
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"Titlebaum, Tinker..."
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"Hey, that's pretty good. Can you say,"
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""She sells sea shells by the seashore"?"
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"I'm sorry; I can't help you. If your friend is missing,"
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"I suggest you go to the police."
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"- Yeah. - Okay. Thank you."
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"- Okay. - Thank you very much."
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"Go see the man."
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"Nurse. What, uh, did, uh, those young men want?"
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"They were looking for a friend of theirs,"
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"doctor, and a man named Schnitzler; I've never heard of them."
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"No, neither have I."
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"This the place I saw him last, officer."
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"It's sort of like a French restaurant."
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"Hey!"
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"Hey, it's changed."
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"This isn't, uh. These tables weren't red, these tables were..."
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"Something's wrong here. Hey, what's going on?"
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"Man, this place is Chinese."
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"Perhaps humble servant can be of assistance, please."
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"These kids say their friend disappeared from here"
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"this afternoon while they were playing for a banquet."
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"Well, he did."
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"Must be big mistake. Honorable establishment closed today."
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"Closed? Today?"
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"Unless honorable officer want food."
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"I can bring, uh, fried rice, uh, chicken chow mein, wonton soup."
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"Never mind that! Do you have Schnitzler here?"
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"Uh, no. We have, uh, fried rice, uh, chicken chow mein, wonton soup."
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"I think you kids are in the wrong place."
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"Now, don't bother any more policemen until you know where you were."
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"Bye."
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"Bye."
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"Oh."
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"You know, I never did like Chinese restaurants;"
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"one hour after you eat there, you disappear."
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"Ha ha ha ha ha! I fooled them! I fooled them!"
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"Nurse! Nurse! My friend's been in a terrible accident."
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"He has broken bones and loss of blood, and he's suffering from terrible pain."
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"Uh!"
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"Uh, name please?"
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"David Jones."
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"Uh, address?"
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"What?"
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"Fourteen thirty-eight North Beechwood."
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"I don't suppose you know your zip code number?"
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"His zip code? Are you kidding?"
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