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Clips from United States of Al (2021) - Dog/Spai (S01E01)

"COMMENTATOR: So far, it's been a very tight game."
United States of Al (2021)
"You'll never believe what Dad did."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do we have to establish an alibi?"
United States of Al (2021)
"So, we were out riding bikes,"
United States of Al (2021)
"and this dog runs out into the middle"
United States of Al (2021)
"of the street, and all these cars were gonna hit it,"
United States of Al (2021)
"and it was so scared, and then Dad runs out there"
United States of Al (2021)
"and scoops him up in his jacket."
United States of Al (2021)
"They almost got hit by a truck."
United States of Al (2021)
"Brave and stupid. Sounds like my brother."
United States of Al (2021)
"Look what we found."
United States of Al (2021)
"Get that out of here!"
United States of Al (2021)
"Are you scared?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Are you dumb?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I forgot to tell you, Afghans don't really keep dogs as pets."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, but Uncle Al, this is a nice dog."
United States of Al (2021)
"Mm-mmm. Mm, dogs are not nice."
United States of Al (2021)
"They are wild animals who travel in packs"
United States of Al (2021)
"and terrorize the streets at night."
United States of Al (2021)
"Come on. Just give him a little pet."
United States of Al (2021)
"No, thank you. I like having hands."
United States of Al (2021)
"Al, relax. This is a sweet little dog."
United States of Al (2021)
"Fine. I will pet it outside."
United States of Al (2021)
"All right. Come on."
United States of Al (2021)
"That was close."
United States of Al (2021)
"[sighs]"
United States of Al (2021)
"♪"
United States of Al (2021)
"♪ Oh!"
United States of Al (2021)
"What happened to you?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Hazel and I were giving the dog a bath."
United States of Al (2021)
"In the house?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yeah, in the kitchen sink."
United States of Al (2021)
"In the sink?!"
United States of Al (2021)
"We wash our dishes"
United States of Al (2021)
"in that sink."
United States of Al (2021)
"From now on, each bite of food you take, dog."
United States of Al (2021)
"Each sip of water you take, dog."
United States of Al (2021)
"Calm down. It's not a permanent thing."
United States of Al (2021)
"All right, Lizzie's making some signs for us to put up."
United States of Al (2021)
"We'll find his owner."
United States of Al (2021)
"Or we can take him out to the woods"
United States of Al (2021)
"and let him be the master of his own destiny."
United States of Al (2021)
"Isn't that the American way?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I can't do that. Hazel loves him."
United States of Al (2021)
"I understand,"
United States of Al (2021)
"but I'm sure she could love a different animal."
United States of Al (2021)
"How about a bird?"
United States of Al (2021)
"A bird?Birds are great."
United States of Al (2021)
"They fly, they sing,"
United States of Al (2021)
"and if you get tired of them, you can eat them."
United States of Al (2021)
"We're not getting a bird."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, how about a rabbit?"
United States of Al (2021)
"They're cute and furry, and if it doesn't work out,"
United States of Al (2021)
"also very tasty."
United States of Al (2021)
"[muffled groan]"
United States of Al (2021)
"Target, one o'clock.On it."
United States of Al (2021)
"I think we should name the dog Chesty"
United States of Al (2021)
"after Lieutenant General Chesty Puller."
United States of Al (2021)
"Chesty. That used to be my nickname for your mom."
United States of Al (2021)
"[laughs] Really?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Uh, probably shouldn't have told you that."
United States of Al (2021)
"What if we call him Sergeant?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I like that. Then he wouldn't outrank me."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do you think we could teach him to salute?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, don't get ahead of yourself."
United States of Al (2021)
"There's probably a family out there looking for Sarge."
United States of Al (2021)
"You called him Sarge."
United States of Al (2021)
"Probably shouldn't have done that, either."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh."
United States of Al (2021)
"Am I a bad person because I don't want them to find him?"
United States of Al (2021)
"No, but we still have to try."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do you remember a Marine's first core value?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Ugh. Honor.That's right."
United States of Al (2021)
"Honor guides..."
United States of Al (2021)
"BOTH: Marines to exemplify the ultimate"
United States of Al (2021)
"in ethical and moral behavior."
United States of Al (2021)
"Exactly. So we're gonna hang up all these signs"
United States of Al (2021)
"and whatever happens, happens."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay.Okay."
United States of Al (2021)
"11 o'clock, fence."
United States of Al (2021)
"We're out of staples."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, well, that happens. Let's go home. [clears throat]"
United States of Al (2021)
"Come on. Get it, Sarge. Get it, Sarge."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey. [laughs]"
United States of Al (2021)
"Your mom just pulled up with the homework you forgot."
United States of Al (2021)
"Aw, nuts."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, could we build a house for him?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, he's a sergeant. Shouldn't he live in barracks?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, perfect!"
United States of Al (2021)
"Nice try."
United States of Al (2021)
"Whose dog is that?"
United States of Al (2021)
"It's our dog. We found him."
United States of Al (2021)
"His name is Sarge, and we're gonna build him barracks."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh. Well, that's just great."
United States of Al (2021)
"Um, can I talk to you for a minute?"
United States of Al (2021)
"You can."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do you have to?"
United States of Al (2021)
"What are you doing?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Same thing I always do with you-- waiting to be yelled at."
United States of Al (2021)
"That dog has to belong to somebody,"
United States of Al (2021)
"and when they show up for him, she's gonna be devastated."
United States of Al (2021)
"Nobody wants this dog. All right? He's got no tags,"
United States of Al (2021)
"and we put up signs so if they were looking for him,"
United States of Al (2021)
"they'd have called by now.Okay."
United States of Al (2021)
"I just wish you wouldn't jump into stuff"
United States of Al (2021)
"without thinking it through."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, I saved that dog's life."
United States of Al (2021)
"You're yelling at a hero."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm yelling at an idiot."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, yeah? Go in there and ask Hazel"
United States of Al (2021)
"which one of us she likes best right now."
United States of Al (2021)
"The dad who got her a dog or the mom who got her homework?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Go on, Chesty. I'll wait here."
United States of Al (2021)
"Can we add one more thing to the doghouse?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Got to stop you right there."
United States of Al (2021)
"First rule of contracting: once construction has begun,"
United States of Al (2021)
"no additional changes can be made."
United States of Al (2021)
"That's the source of all your cost overruns."
United States of Al (2021)
"So what's your idea?"
United States of Al (2021)
"A webcam so I can watch him sleep."
United States of Al (2021)
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