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Clips from Family Guy - Christmas Crime (S20E20)

"(high‐pitched): a nativity scene?"
Family Guy
"Want to tell me what's going on, champ?"
Family Guy
"(laughing): What? Nothing."
Family Guy
"Brian, I can tell when you're lying, because your voice always"
Family Guy
"gets high at the end of your sentences."
Family Guy
"That's nuts, you don't know what you're"
Family Guy
"(high‐pitched): talking about!"
Family Guy
"Okay, fine!"
Family Guy
"Yes, it was me. I destroyed the nativity scene with my car."
Family Guy
"But you've got to keep your mouth shut about this."
Family Guy
"I could be in a lot of trouble. I already hid the evidence."
Family Guy
"Did you at least do it right?"
Family Guy
"You burned all the pieces"
Family Guy
"and sank your car in a lake?"
Family Guy
"No, I parked it in the Spirit Airlines parking lot..."
Family Guy
"Oh, because they all drive crappy cars."
Family Guy
"That's smart, that's smart. Well, not to worry."
Family Guy
"You and I will just leave town"
Family Guy
"and start a new life together."
Family Guy
"What? What are you talking...?"
Family Guy
"Look, we could buy a house in Cincinnati"
Family Guy
"for $43,000."
Family Guy
"Stewie, I'm not leaving town‐‐ Wait, what, seriously?"
Family Guy
"Yes, pretty big. Three bedrooms. Hardwood floors."
Family Guy
"For $43,000? That's insane."
Family Guy
"‐We could just pay that off. ‐I know. You could have"
Family Guy
"that office you've always wanted and we'd still"
Family Guy
"have an extra room for the baby."
Family Guy
"‐What? ‐Or‐or a craft room."
Family Guy
"‐(knocking) ‐Oh, crap, Who's that?"
Family Guy
"Howdy, folks."
Family Guy
"Just seeing if I might ask y'all a few questions."
Family Guy
"Hey, you're the man from the TV!"
Family Guy
"Please come in, I'm the man from the couch."
Family Guy
"Okay, quick, I need an alibi."
Family Guy
"Okay, last night you and I were home"
Family Guy
"watching Dancing with the Stars all night."
Family Guy
"That's actually what I was doing all last night."
Family Guy
"I thought Tom Bergeron had a great show."
Family Guy
"One of his better nights. The guy's a pro."
Family Guy
"It's Tyra Banks now."
Family Guy
"Brian, I can't do this with you."
Family Guy
"And what about you, Peter?"
Family Guy
"I hear you haven't been brushing your teeth."
Family Guy
"‐Yes, I have. ‐All of 'em?"
Family Guy
"‐Most of 'em. ‐Careful there."
Family Guy
"The teeth are the doorway to the body."
Family Guy
"Now, then, can I speak to your dog who hates Christmas?"
Family Guy
"Ho‐ho‐ho! Who have we got here?"
Family Guy
"Can I interest anyone in a candy cane?"
Family Guy
"None for me, thanks."
Family Guy
"Ho‐ho‐okay, your loss. After all,"
Family Guy
"it is the world's most dangerous candy. The more you eat it,"
Family Guy
"the sharper it gets, but it's worth stabbing"
Family Guy
"your own mouth for a sweet that tastes like toothpaste."
Family Guy
"I mean, Season's Greetings!"
Family Guy
"Brian, where were you last night"
Family Guy
"between 10:00 p. m. and midnight?"
Family Guy
"Uh, let's see, uh, food bank till 8:00."
Family Guy
"Uh, Love Actually... (chuckles) again."
Family Guy
"And at no time did I watch Tom Bergeron"
Family Guy
"on Dancing with the Stars because"
Family Guy
"that would be impossible."
Family Guy
"Hmm, that's very helpful."
Family Guy
"Oh, good, 'cause I‐I hope more than anyone the culprit"
Family Guy
"who took your nativity scene is brought to justice."
Family Guy
"I'm mighty glad to hear that."
Family Guy
"Matter of fact, I was thinking a hound like you'd"
Family Guy
"be just the thing to help sniff out some new clues."
Family Guy
"‐What do you say? ‐Uh, yeah."
Family Guy
"In‐in fact, you came to the right guy."
Family Guy
"I was briefly McGruff's sidekick."
Family Guy
"McGRUFF: Ah, that's Jenny."
Family Guy
"‐But that's not Jenny's dad. ‐BRIAN: No, sir!"
Family Guy
"If she gets into that car,"
Family Guy
"that may be the last time you'll see Jenny."
Family Guy
"‐Yep! ‐I'm McGruff the Crime Dog."
Family Guy
"And I'm Sergeant Bark, because I bark at crime."
Family Guy
"McGRUFF: See those kids?"
Family Guy
"Every day in this country,"
Family Guy
"60 kids disappear."
Family Guy
"‐Hey, the bikes fell. ‐Some run away."
Family Guy
"‐You want me to get the bikes? ‐But a lot are kidnapped by strangers."
Family Guy
"‐McGruff? McGruff? ‐Or even by people they know."
Family Guy
"‐Do you want me to pick up the...? ‐So write to McGruff."
Family Guy
"‐Oh, you're‐you're giving the address. ‐And teach your kids"
Family Guy
"‐to protect themselves. ‐I'll get the bikes."
Family Guy
"‐(grunting) ‐Help, uh,"
Family Guy
"take a bite out of crime."
Family Guy
"BRIAN: And don't forget to bark at it."
Family Guy
"You know, I've been thinking, Brian."
Family Guy
"Maybe the first thing we ought to do is"
Family Guy
"take an inventory of what's missing."
Family Guy
"Could be there's some clues in that."
Family Guy
"Yep, sure. Good thinking."
Family Guy
"Ah, you're a big Christmas guy."
Family Guy
"Remind me, what's in a nativity scene?"
Family Guy
"Nativity scene, sure. Uh, well, you've got your drummer."
Family Guy
"Uh, probably a bassist, too. Uh, Jesus, of course."
Family Guy
"Uh... Mr. Christ?"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna say Santa, then also the elves."
Family Guy
"Uh, the pig who makes friends with a spider..."
Family Guy
"writes, uh, nice things in its web."
Family Guy
"S‐S‐S‐Slater?"
Family Guy
"Somebody‐somebody named Slater?"
Family Guy
"I think he's from Saved by the Bell."
Family Guy
"Ah, I knew it sounded familiar, but you know who"
Family Guy
"we should really be looking at?"
Family Guy
"People in town who don't even celebrate Christmas."
Family Guy
"Like‐like... Mort Goldman!"
Family Guy
"Boo! Boo, Brian!"
Family Guy
"They've suffered enough. Boo."
Family Guy
""Dear Santa, thank you in advance"
Family Guy
""for bringing me a Happy Asking Panda."
Family Guy
""I've been a very good boy this year,"
Family Guy
""and while I understand you 'see me when I'm sleeping,'"
Family Guy
""I just want to say that Rupert was the aggressor."
Family Guy
""It may not have seemed that way, but we had agreed"
Family Guy
""ahead of time on a form of role play"
Family Guy
"that would probably have seemed confusing without that context.""
Family Guy
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