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Clips from Family Guy - Christmas Crime (S20E20)

"but Jesus Christ is not two of them."
Family Guy
"Yeah, come on, Brian, it's Christmas."
Family Guy
"Have an egg. Enjoy yourself."
Family Guy
"Okay, now to light the Christmas tree"
Family Guy
"by telling this child's toy"
Family Guy
"my mother's maiden name."
Family Guy
"Abernathy."
Family Guy
"(crowd cheering)"
Family Guy
"Yay! Very holiday data information!"
Family Guy
"I guess Santa's getting ready to rack up"
Family Guy
"those frequent flyer miles, huh?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, we all read your tweets, Joe."
Family Guy
"Smash that "like" button."
Family Guy
"Hey, check it out, Peter, it's Ebenezer Pooch."
Family Guy
"We should mess with him by putting only"
Family Guy
"Christmas songs on the jukebox."
Family Guy
"Cleveland, I got just the song."
Family Guy
"("Life Is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane playing)"
Family Guy
"♪ Life is a highway ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ I want to ride it... ♪"
Family Guy
"Wait, what the hell is this?"
Family Guy
"Only the best Christmas song ever."
Family Guy
"I tell you, no matter when I hear this baby,"
Family Guy
"I start smelling pine."
Family Guy
"Joe, this is not a holiday song."
Family Guy
"He never once mentions Christmas!"
Family Guy
"No, it's about Santa."
Family Guy
"All night long."
Family Guy
"On the highway... delivering presents."
Family Guy
"The video takes place in a field!"
Family Guy
"In what is clearly summer!"
Family Guy
"Quagmire, many parts of the world are"
Family Guy
"arid during the holy season."
Family Guy
"Including where Jesus was born."
Family Guy
"Or perhaps the singer's Australian."
Family Guy
"He's not Australian!"
Family Guy
"He name‐checks Vancouver in the song!"
Family Guy
"A guy from Australia can't know where Vancouver is?"
Family Guy
"Feels kind of racist."
Family Guy
"Mm‐hmm."
Family Guy
"Damn it, Joe! We're supposed to be annoying Brian!"
Family Guy
"Not this!"
Family Guy
"Oh, okay, I get it."
Family Guy
"Everybody pile on the one person"
Family Guy
"who actually sees the truth about Christmas."
Family Guy
"You know, you guys know all‐‐ what this holiday"
Family Guy
"is all about, right? It's all about this."
Family Guy
"The world's smallest violin?"
Family Guy
"A scrotal massage?"
Family Guy
""Ah, just like in the old country"?"
Family Guy
"We're more word people than gesture people."
Family Guy
"No! Money!"
Family Guy
"It's all about money!"
Family Guy
"Is Christmas really so awful?"
Family Guy
"I don't know, I‐I just‐‐ I can't stand how everyone buys"
Family Guy
"into this annual mass hypnosis."
Family Guy
"I mean, like, do not even get me started on Christmas caroling."
Family Guy
"No, go ahead. I'm listening."
Family Guy
"No, that's‐that's what I mean."
Family Guy
"Like, do not get me started."
Family Guy
"Trust me, you, you will be here all night."
Family Guy
"I've got time. I'm officially getting you started."
Family Guy
"‐Name one thing. ‐(exhales)"
Family Guy
"I mean, where do I start?"
Family Guy
"The things I have to say"
Family Guy
"about caroling. It's like, how long have you got?"
Family Guy
"I've got all night, no one to go home to‐‐ let's hear it."
Family Guy
"Yeah, okay... well, I mean, first there's the..."
Family Guy
"‐you know, the singing. ‐(imitates buzzer)"
Family Guy
"You know what, screw you guys!"
Family Guy
"All right, screw Frosty!"
Family Guy
"Screw Vince Guaraldi!"
Family Guy
"Screw both Rankin and Bass!"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm with him on Rankin, but, come on, what did Bass do?"
Family Guy
"‐(tires squealing) ‐(horns honking)"
Family Guy
"Stupid Christmas."
Family Guy
"What kind of name is Blitzen anyway, what is that?"
Family Guy
"That's like‐‐ that's not a name... it's a football..."
Family Guy
"something."
Family Guy
"‐(horn honks) ‐(gasps)"
Family Guy
"Aah! Son of a bitch!"
Family Guy
"(crashes)"
Family Guy
"Oh, crap. Why couldn't I have hit"
Family Guy
"the court‐ordered menorah instead?"
Family Guy
"MORT: Thank you!"
Family Guy
"Aw, crap, this is bad, this is bad."
Family Guy
"After all I said, they‐they'll probably call this a hate crime."
Family Guy
"I've just got to hide the evidence."
Family Guy
"Ah, I wish someone was here to try to take this from me,"
Family Guy
"'cause I'd be all like... (growling)"
Family Guy
"No way, you! This is mine!"
Family Guy
"Now where can I hide an old, banged‐up car"
Family Guy
"where it'll just blend right in?"
Family Guy
"(jet engine whirring)"
Family Guy
"I knew this would work."
Family Guy
"Especially after that last flight I took."
Family Guy
"Spirit Airlines is now boarding group whatever."
Family Guy
"Just start punching until you're on an airplane."
Family Guy
"(crowd shouting, clamoring)"
Family Guy
"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker."
Family Guy
"Our top story: Ho‐ho‐homeless man"
Family Guy
"found dead in local alleyway."
Family Guy
"But first we're joined live by Mayor Wild West"
Family Guy
"outside City Hall, who reports that the town"
Family Guy
"nativity scene he personally whittled has gone missing."
Family Guy
"Mayor West, what can you tell us about the disappearance"
Family Guy
"and also about my contested parking ticket,"
Family Guy
"and I'll remind you the tree limb was blocking the sign."
Family Guy
"That tree was a hardwood, Mr. Tucker,"
Family Guy
"and there wouldn't have been a leaf on it till mid‐May."
Family Guy
"The printing of the restricted times"
Family Guy
"was also faded, and as to the investigation?"
Family Guy
"Whoever took that nativity scene best sleep"
Family Guy
"with one eye open, 'cause I'm on your trail."
Family Guy
"And I'm gonna hunt you down like the mighty"
Family Guy
"grizzly hunts a Slim Jim left on the dashboard of a Ford Taurus."
Family Guy
"I regret that the West has changed."
Family Guy
"Ah, now I want a Slim Jim. Slim Jim, anyone?"
Family Guy
"Slim Jim? Never google what's in it? Slim Jim?"
Family Guy
"That's rather odd. Who would steal..."
Family Guy
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