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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Sober for the D and V (S01E01)

"a crystal ball or something?"
Single Drunk Female
"Is that... Oh, that was a joke, right?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. Yeah, it was."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(laughs) I knew it. ‐(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"This place is nice."
Single Drunk Female
"It is. Yeah, yeah, it's‐it's good."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I assumed you were a big coffee head"
Single Drunk Female
"since you wanted to meet at a coffee shop."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. Yeah, no. I'm, uh, I'm sober."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, wow. Me too."
Single Drunk Female
"I mean, not sober sober, but, you know,"
Single Drunk Female
"I can't have more than three a night since I turned 30, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"Hi. Just wanted to let you know"
Single Drunk Female
"we're closing in ten minutes."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Thank you. ‐Thanks."
Single Drunk Female
"Oof. That flew by."
Single Drunk Female
"‐It did, didn't it? Yeah. ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"‐You want to go back to your apartment? ‐What?"
Single Drunk Female
"Do you want to go back to your apartment?"
Single Drunk Female
"Wow. Okay. I mean, yeah. Yeah?"
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, sorry, I just got to re‐frame‐‐ you know,"
Single Drunk Female
"you think late‐afternoon coffee date,"
Single Drunk Female
"that's a tight hug at most."
Single Drunk Female
"But, uh, yes. I... Let's do it."
Single Drunk Female
"‐So, yes? ‐Mm‐hmm."
Single Drunk Female
"Cool. Okay, let's do it."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Nice place. ‐Thanks."
Single Drunk Female
"It's really, um... brown."
Single Drunk Female
"(liquid pouring)"
Single Drunk Female
"Sorry, I'm just, uh, trying to loosen up. Uh,"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm kind of a planner, so when things"
Single Drunk Female
"happen unexpected, I get a little, you know, nervous."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Would you like some? ‐No, I'm..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐sober. ‐Right. Shit."
Single Drunk Female
"You told me that. I'm sorry. I can get you something else."
Single Drunk Female
"Um... I have..."
Single Drunk Female
"two percent milk, water..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm fine."
Single Drunk Female
"Do you want to go to the couch?"
Single Drunk Female
"You're so pretty."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, thank‐thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I got it. ‐Me too. Um..."
Single Drunk Female
"Just... Hands are a little sweaty."
Single Drunk Female
"Just gonna get in there. Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"(Brian burping)"
Single Drunk Female
"Whoa. Yeah, there's vodka in that."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. Um,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm gonna just get some... ‐Uh, you know what?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐So sorry. Um, I have to run. ‐You're gonna go?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah, thank you so much for the cappuccino. ‐You sure?"
Single Drunk Female
"I just... um, I have a thing."
Single Drunk Female
"I‐I'd still love to get coffee again sometime."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(car door closes) ‐Hey, sorry you had to come get me."
Single Drunk Female
"‐What happened? ‐The shop is officially closed for business."
Single Drunk Female
"By shop you mean your vagina?"
Single Drunk Female
"What else could I possibly mean?"
Single Drunk Female
"All right, don't get all Sad Sam"
Single Drunk Female
"on me. This was your first try."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Let me see. You got to have more matches. ‐No."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh. ‐Doesn't matter. I'm giving up."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hey, you... ‐(phone vibrates)"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, hey, buttface just texted you."
Single Drunk Female
"Hmm."
Single Drunk Female
""Hey. Sorry for sending you mixed signals."
Single Drunk Female
"Come to the dance party. It'll be fun.""
Single Drunk Female
"(scoffs)"
Single Drunk Female
"(scoffs, chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"We haven't looked this cute in a while. I mean..."
Single Drunk Female
"you haven't looked this cute in a while."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I do look kind of cute. ‐You look super cute."
Single Drunk Female
"(yawns)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hey. ‐Hey."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Your shift go okay? ‐Yeah, nothing too traumatic."
Single Drunk Female
"That's good. Hey, come here for a sec."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah. ‐So..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I've been researching some readings for the ceremony, ‐Mm."
Single Drunk Female
"and I thought Sasha could do this one from Le Petit Prince."
Single Drunk Female
"In French or English. Or both, if you want."
Single Drunk Female
"Might be kind of fun to do both."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I don't know."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Y‐You don't like it? ‐Well, you know, it's just"
Single Drunk Female
"very first thought. Um... basic."
Single Drunk Female
"'Cause, you know, I've seen it at, like, a gajillion weddings."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, yeah, 'cause it's a classic."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, it's a kid's book, Joel."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay. I mean, it was on, like, ten wedding websites"
Single Drunk Female
"as one of the best readings, but fine,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐I guess. ‐Yeah, well, you're kind of proving my point."
Single Drunk Female
"And... I mean,"
Single Drunk Female
"when's the last time you read a book?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐What? ‐I mean,"
Single Drunk Female
"when was the last time you read a book?"
Single Drunk Female
"Look, I'm‐I'm just saying maybe if you read more,"
Single Drunk Female
"you might have different ideas."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, I‐I read, Brit."
Single Drunk Female
"I mean, maybe not books you can quote from at weddings."
Single Drunk Female
"‐That's not what I'm saying. ‐Well, then what are you saying?"
Single Drunk Female
"'Cause it's not like I see you coming home"
Single Drunk Female
"and curling up with War and Peace."
Single Drunk Female
"It's like, when's the last time you've read a book?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm a doctor. I don't have time to joy read."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of free time right now, either,"
Single Drunk Female
"all right? I go to work and then I come home and spend"
Single Drunk Female
"every single spare minute planning our wedding."
Single Drunk Female
"Look, this is coming out really wrong."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, I got some work to do, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐♪ ♪ ‐Oh, great. More people."
Single Drunk Female
"Come in. Why not?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hey. ‐Hi."
Single Drunk Female
"Whoa! You have a wicked nice house."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you so much."
Single Drunk Female
"I would offer you a drink, but..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm not going to, because that's the whole deal."
Single Drunk Female
"Technically not sober, but when in Rome."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. I just can't abstain because my wife invited, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"a million people to stomp on our brand‐new wood floors."
Single Drunk Female
"And this is biodynamic, so it basically"
Single Drunk Female
"doesn't actually count as alcohol."
Single Drunk Female
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