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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Ava vs. Superintendent (S01E01)

"And remember, you don't wanna show too much improvement"
Abbott Elementary
"because then they think we won't need the money."
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"But then, also, you don't want to show"
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"that we haven't gotten any better,"
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"because then they think we're not capable of improvement."
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"Wow. And this is the job you really want?"
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"- Sounds gross. - Yeah."
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"Ah, Principal Coleman."
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"Superintendent Collins."
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"I'm really looking forward to showing you our presentation."
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"W-What do you mean "our"?"
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"I've enlisted two of Abbott's best teachers"
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"to help me with the presentation --"
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"our shortest and our finest."
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"(chuckles) No, you're not slick."
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"You'll be giving today's presentation alone."
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"(whispers indistinctly)"
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"Uh, oh, my God. What did he just say to you?"
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"That if you don't do well, you're gonna get fired?"
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"Worse."
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"He mumbled and I didn't hear it."
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"(toilet flushes)"
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"(door unlocks)"
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"(sighs)"
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"(clears throat)"
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"- Oh. - Oh."
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"Mrs. Sloss."
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"I'm a teacher at Abbott Elementary."
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"I believe we go to the same church."
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"Oh, how lovely."
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"I think I've seen you around."
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"Of course you've seen Deacon Wiley's new hairstyle."
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"Oh, he's got it dyed, fried, and laid to the side."
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"(chuckles) Yes, it's funny when people look bad."
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"Um, uh..."
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"Sister Sloss, God is good, is he not?"
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"- He is. - And He knows in our hearts"
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"whether we are good people or not."
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"I imagine he does. You have a good day, now."
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"Well, while I have your attention,"
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"you are on the Church Finance Committee, aren't you?"
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"AVA: Our test scores have been good."
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"But not too good. (chuckles)"
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"And definitely not bad."
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"Uh, the same goes for our attendance rates."
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"They have been exactly where they should be"
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"to inspire confidence while also leaving room for improvement."
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"Any questions?"
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"Never mind. There's no time for questions."
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"I still have, uh, 13 more slides."
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"I can't really hear anything."
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"Okay, get away from the door. Let me try."
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"Yeah, I can't hear anything, either."
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"Who's got the biggest ears?"
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"I -- I'm-a just..."
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"I'll get a glass."
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"When I'm overwhelmed, I get on my phone, too."
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"I like to read the news."
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"You know, seeing something way worse"
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"than what's happening to me really puts things in perspective."
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"Yeah, I was just sending an e-mail, but..."
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"I can do that later."
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"By the way, thank you so much for helping."
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"I know it isn't easy to coach someone"
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"who has the job you should've gotten."
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"Yeah, well, it's a lot easier to say yes to things"
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"when you're the one asking."
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"Oh. Well, in that case,"
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"can I get a burger and a Nintendo Switch?"
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"(both laugh)"
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"(sighs)"
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"How do you think it's going in there?"
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"Oh, I think it's probably going well."
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"I think it's going w--"
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"I think it's probably going well."
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"GREGORY: Hmm."
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"And that brings me to my last chart..."
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"What are we looking at here?"
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"Well, there's no words on it, but...it's going up!"
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"(chuckles) That can't be too bad."
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"Or too good! (chuckles)"
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"Based on what you've shown us so far,"
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"what metrics are your funding targets keyed to?"
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"Thank God you brought that up."
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"I was like, "I hope he asks about Target and whatnot,""
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"- 'cause I have another slide -- - You know what?"
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"I thi-- I think we've seen all we need to see here today."
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"Thanks for coming in."
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"- But I -- I -- - Look, that's your time,"
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"not even including the five minutes you took"
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"when you got a paper cut."
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"Look, I know you all want me to talk"
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"about pie charts and cake graphs,"
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"but that's not the entire story."
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"Yeah, discretionary funds can be used to nurture students"
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"artistically so they can grow up and do that graffiti"
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"that bougie people don't get mad at."
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"You mean a mural?"
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"That's it."
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"But what you don't see is how I make sure"
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"that forgetful students get supplies."
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"Or how I help students with broke parents"
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"get uniforms that fit so they don't get roasted all day."
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"Or how I have barrels of lotion stashed all around the school"
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"so these kids don't start a commotion with their crusty ankles."
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"My unique approach to these funds betters the school."
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"Yes, we all understand the importance of moisturization,"
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"but your time is up."
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"- (gasps) - AVA: No."
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"Y'all not about to rush me out of here"
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"like I'm Lil Mama at the VMAs."
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"Psst! Hey. It's open."
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"AVA: Because you know what?"
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"No matter what happens to me, Abbott will be fine."
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"Because the teachers that work there"
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"are some of the most dedicated, hardworking,"
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"and creative teachers in this entire city."
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"You tell 'em, Ava!"
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"(door slams)"
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"And it's not like y'all been making it rain up in here."
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