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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Ava vs. Superintendent (S01E01)

"("Amazing Grace" plays)"
Abbott Elementary
"♪"
Abbott Elementary
"Ms. Teagues, are you chewing gum?"
Abbott Elementary
"Yeah."
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"Where does gum go when you enter this classroom?"
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"CHILDREN: Wanda the Waste Basket!"
Abbott Elementary
"Okay. All right, come on,"
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"my future little Odd Futures."
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"Time to go back to our classroom."
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"♪"
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"Uh, come on, guys."
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"You'll see Ms. Davis next week."
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"(sighs) Hey, guys."
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"I know music class is fun,"
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"but that's why we have to let someone else have a turn."
Abbott Elementary
"♪"
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"All right, guys, you know what?"
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"Don't make me collect the recorders,"
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"'cause if I collect them,"
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"who knows when you're gonna see them again."
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"(music stops)"
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"♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪"
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"I once was lost... ♪"
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"(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)"
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"♪"
Abbott Elementary
"JANINE (sighs): So sorry I'm late."
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"Oh, glad you guys started without me."
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"We weren't waiting."
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"This isn't a restaurant."
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"Uh, why are you late? Is everything okay?"
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"Yeah, everything's fine."
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"The kids just love Ms. Davis' class,"
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"so it takes a while to get them back,"
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"and then everything runs a little late."
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"You know, normally, I'd be bothered by my kids"
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"being obsessed with another teacher, but I get it."
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"- My class? Also Davis devotees. - Mm."
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"Only way she could be cooler is if she were related to Angela."
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"Not that I think all black people are related."
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"Well, maybe you do."
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"Maybe that was your subconscious speaking."
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"What would Angela Davis think?"
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"Well, my suggestion to all of you"
Abbott Elementary
"is to enjoy your free periods while you can."
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"Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye"
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"like Blackstreet Boyz II Men."
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"Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways."
Abbott Elementary
"Whoa. What's happening to music class?"
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"Well, the school pays for the music class"
Abbott Elementary
"out of discretionary funds."
Abbott Elementary
"And since Ava lost her dirt on Superintendent Collins"
Abbott Elementary
"when he married the goomah,"
Abbott Elementary
"there's no way he's gonna fork over the cash"
Abbott Elementary
"like he has for the last three years."
Abbott Elementary
"No more of the glitz and glam you lot have become used to."
Abbott Elementary
"It's gonna go right back to the lean years."
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"- (handle cracks) - Mm-hmm."
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"Then what are these?"
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"There has to be a way to convince Superintendent Collins"
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"that we still need that discretionary money."
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"Well, all the principals have to present their cases for funding"
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"to the school board at the end of the week."
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"How do you always know this stuff?"
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"I told you all this many times --"
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"I trained to be a principal."
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"- Mm, it's not ringing a bell. - Mm."
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"I interned at the Baltimore School Board for two summers."
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"I got my Master's in Educational Leadership,"
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"and I went through a program specifically meant"
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"to encourage young black men to become principals."
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"So do I think that Ava can learn"
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"everything that she needs to know by Friday?"
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"No."
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"Out of curiosity, what was her presentation like last year?"
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"She played a chopped and screwed version of Tom Cruise saying,"
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""Show me the money," on repeat."
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"And no one asked any questions when that worked?"
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"I'm sure she is preparing,"
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"given the circumstances have changed."
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""They keep telling me I've aged out of The Bachelor,"
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"so that's why I need to borrow your birth certificate, Ava,"
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"- exclamation mark." - (cellphone beeps)"
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"Even in a world where Ava could put together"
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"- a competent presentation... - Mm-hmm."
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"...it still does not change the fact"
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"that the Superintendent can't stand her"
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"and, by extension, us."
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"The nerve on that guy."
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"Yeah, well, maybe this will be the year"
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"where the school board finally awards me"
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"that Advancement Grant that I have been applying to"
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"for 10 years."
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"They will if we make them."
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"Just, like, a little... gentle arm-twisting."
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"A little arm twist never hurt."
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"(gasps) This is so exciting. Oh, my God."
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"I'm gonna go to the mall right after school"
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"and get a new shakedown sweater."
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"(footsteps approaching)"
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"Do I even wanna know?"
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"I don't know. Do you?"
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"You know you have a presentation"
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"to the school board coming up, right?"
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"Yeah, I do it annually."
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"Right, but you're ready for the one this year?"
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"This girl doesn't know what "annually" means."
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"No, I know what it means."
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"It's just that this time is a little different."
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"Yeah, my job is on the line."
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"More importantly, discretionary funds for the entire school."
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"Yeah, but those two things kinda go hand in hand"
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"- if you really think about it. - Great."
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"So you're taking it seriously, then."
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"As a heart attack."
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"I haven't watched Love After Lockup in like a month."
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"Free Puppy."
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"Can I see the presentation?"
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"You don't have a lawyer, do you?"
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"No. Oh, not unless you count that guy"
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"that represented me in that hit-and-run."
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