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Clips from Lucifer - What Would Lucifer Do? (S03E03)

"It's because you're special, Decker."
Lucifer
"- Hey, Chloe. - Hi."
Lucifer
"Uh, Lieutenant, I just wanted to say"
Lucifer
"that, um, I hope you feel better soon."
Lucifer
"Thanks, Espinoza."
Lucifer
"I also wanted to thank you for putting me up"
Lucifer
"for the union rep position. Sorry, Chloe."
Lucifer
"I know you wanted that one, too."
Lucifer
"And I..."
Lucifer
"I won't let you down, sir."
Lucifer
"I know you won't."
Lucifer
"You earned it, buddy."
Lucifer
"- Congratulations. - Thanks."
Lucifer
"So, my guardian angel, I think this calls for a celebration."
Lucifer
"I was lucky you turned up when you did."
Lucifer
"How did you find me, by the way?"
Lucifer
"Location service on one of your dating apps."
Lucifer
"Maybe luck had nothing to do with when I showed up, Luci."
Lucifer
"Maybe Father wanted me there."
Lucifer
"You give him way too much credit, Brother."
Lucifer
"What's so funny?"
Lucifer
"Well, nothing."
Lucifer
"It's just, it took you walking a mile in my shoes"
Lucifer
"to prove my point to me."
Lucifer
"Okay. And what point is that?"
Lucifer
"That I haven't changed."
Lucifer
"Wings,"
Lucifer
"no wings, unable to show my true face..."
Lucifer
"it doesn't matter."
Lucifer
"I'm exactly who I always was."
Lucifer
"A punisher."
Lucifer
"And for reminding me of that, I salute you."
Lucifer
"Oh, that's very kind of you."
Lucifer
"But, you see, I don't think it was the human"
Lucifer
"that you were trying to punish today."
Lucifer
"Well, who else would I be trying to punish?"
Lucifer
"Yourself, Luci."
Lucifer
"For not being there for Chloe when she was in danger"
Lucifer
"because you care about her deeply."
Lucifer
"And if that truly is the case,"
Lucifer
"then you really have changed from the old Lord of Hell."
Lucifer
"But this is good, Luci."
Lucifer
"This is so good."
Lucifer
"Because I've finally figured out how you are my test."
Lucifer
"You see, Father wants me to just..."
Lucifer
"just be there for you."
Lucifer
"To have your back."
Lucifer
"Now that you're evolving."
Lucifer
"There was this, uh, soul that I used to torture back in Hell."
Lucifer
"And like a good masochist, he'd call the shots."
Lucifer
""Burn me." "Freeze me.""
Lucifer
""Hurt me.""
Lucifer
"So, I did."
Lucifer
"And this went on for centuries"
Lucifer
"until one day, for some reason,"
Lucifer
"he missed his daily punishment."
Lucifer
"And when I returned..."
Lucifer
"he was crying."
Lucifer
""Please, my king," he said."
Lucifer
""Don't ever forget me again."
Lucifer
"I promise I'll be good.""
Lucifer
"It was then that I realized he was so full of self-loathing,"
Lucifer
"void of any self-respect, that"
Lucifer
"no matter the depth of my cruelty,"
Lucifer
"whatever miniscule attention I paid..."
Lucifer
"gave meaning to his..."
Lucifer
"pointless existence."
Lucifer
"Why are you telling me this?"
Lucifer
"Because he reminds me of you."
Lucifer
"And you think I've changed?"
Lucifer
"You... the former angel,"
Lucifer
"powerless and pathetic,"
Lucifer
"a disgraced failure with no better way"
Lucifer
"to spend your days than yipping at my heels for scraps"
Lucifer
"to remind you of a time of when you once mattered."
Lucifer
"Hmm."
Lucifer
"I know what you're doing."
Lucifer
"And you can kill the messenger if you must."
Lucifer
"But just know that I am here for you."
Lucifer
"Previously, on Lucifer..."
Lucifer
"Doctor, someone is forcing those wings on me."
Lucifer
"They took away my devil face."
Lucifer
"I won't stand for someone making me something I'm not."
Lucifer
"But your wings,"
Lucifer
"- they grew back? - They did."
Lucifer
"Look, if you're upset about what the lieutenant said,"
Lucifer
"you're not alone... he's not a fan of mine, either."
Lucifer
"And I still can't believe he called me "Lucifer's partner.""
Lucifer
"And even though he doesn't realize it,"
Lucifer
"everything he does seems designed to hurt me."
Lucifer
"To test you?"
Lucifer
"My test is Lucifer."
Lucifer
"It's always been Lucifer."
Lucifer
"I'm Lucifer bloody Morningstar."
Lucifer
"I do favors better than anyone else."
Lucifer
"Or at least I used to."
Lucifer
"And I think that maybe"
Lucifer
"it's about time I got back in the game."
Lucifer
"So, tell me, what's your deepest, darkest fantasy?"
Lucifer
"To have sex in the ball pit at a Chuck E. Cheese."
Lucifer
"- Not what I was expecting. - I mean,"
Lucifer
"the thought of getting caught, it just turns me on."
Lucifer
"All right, well, I'd rather eat a plate of warm mayonnaise"
Lucifer
"than visit that child-laden cesspool, but, um..."
Lucifer
"you are a persuasive one,"
Lucifer
"- aren't you? - Yay."
Lucifer
"Ooh, let's practice."
Lucifer
"Why not?"
Lucifer
"Lexy, darling?"
Lucifer
"- I'm home. - Oh, no."
Lucifer
"No, no, no, no, no."
Lucifer
"He's not supposed to be back until tomorrow."
Lucifer
"Quick. Hide."
Lucifer
"Lexy."
Lucifer
"Relax."
Lucifer
"I'll handle this."
Lucifer
"What the hell?"
Lucifer
"Rest easy. I'm not a thief."
Lucifer
"Your valuables are untouched... unless, of course,"
Lucifer
"you consider your wife a valuable."
Lucifer
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