Loading...

You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from NewsRadio - Big Day (S01E01)

Oh? Why?

"Oh? Why?"

NewsRadio

Well, you got to take a living, breathing human being

"Well, you got to take a living, breathing human being"

NewsRadio

and put a dollar value on his head.

"and put a dollar value on his head."

NewsRadio

It's the devil's work, Dave.

"It's the devil's work, Dave."

NewsRadio

It's bad hoodoo.

"It's bad hoodoo."

NewsRadio

Yeah, it sounds like it.

"Yeah, it sounds like it."

NewsRadio

Yeah. It used to be the hardest part of my job.

"Yeah. It used to be the hardest part of my job."

NewsRadio

Oh, what changed it?

"Oh, what changed it?"

NewsRadio

I made it the hardest part

"I made it the hardest part"

NewsRadio

of your job.

"of your job."

NewsRadio

When did that happen?

"When did that happen?"

NewsRadio

Just now.

"Just now."

NewsRadio

Ah, well, thank you, sir. Yep.

"Ah, well, thank you, sir. Yep."

NewsRadio

Hello, Jimmy.

"Hello, Jimmy."

NewsRadio

Oh, hello, Bill.

"Oh, hello, Bill."

NewsRadio

You know, Dave, uh...

"You know, Dave, uh..."

NewsRadio

[SNIFFS]

"[SNIFFS]"

NewsRadio

Lisa's perfume really lingers, doesn't it?

"Lisa's perfume really lingers, doesn't it?"

NewsRadio

Is that what that smell is?

"Is that what that smell is?"

NewsRadio

You know what I actually think that is?

"You know what I actually think that is?"

NewsRadio

I think that's the stuff they use

"I think that's the stuff they use"

NewsRadio

to clean the carpet in here.

"to clean the carpet in here."

NewsRadio

Yeah... Jimmy, can I borrow Dave for a second?

"Yeah... Jimmy, can I borrow Dave for a second?"

NewsRadio

Oh, sure. If you don't need me in the next 45 seconds,

"Oh, sure. If you don't need me in the next 45 seconds,"

NewsRadio

you know where I'll be.

"you know where I'll be."

NewsRadio

In the, uh...

"In the, uh..."

NewsRadio

Yeah, in the can, Dave. Yeah.

"Yeah, in the can, Dave. Yeah."

NewsRadio

All right.

"All right."

NewsRadio

I just have a few questions for you, chief.

"I just have a few questions for you, chief."

NewsRadio

Okay.

"Okay."

NewsRadio

Whose desk is this?

"Whose desk is this?"

NewsRadio

Uh, yours, Bill.

"Uh, yours, Bill."

NewsRadio

Right, and whose stapler is this?

"Right, and whose stapler is this?"

NewsRadio

Look, Bill.

"Look, Bill."

NewsRadio

Humor me. Whose stapler is this?

"Humor me. Whose stapler is this?"

NewsRadio

Yours?

"Yours?"

NewsRadio

And this tape roll?

"And this tape roll?"

NewsRadio

Yours, Bill. Why?

"Yours, Bill. Why?"

NewsRadio

Uh-uh-uh, Dave. Now, whose cup of coffee is this?

"Uh-uh-uh, Dave. Now, whose cup of coffee is this?"

NewsRadio

Yours?

"Yours?"

NewsRadio

That's where you're wrong.

"That's where you're wrong."

NewsRadio

That is not my cup of coffee,

"That is not my cup of coffee,"

NewsRadio

nor is this my whatever-the-hell this is.

"nor is this my whatever-the-hell this is."

NewsRadio

Well, look, Bill, I didn't put them there.

"Well, look, Bill, I didn't put them there."

NewsRadio

I'm not accusing you,

"I'm not accusing you,"

NewsRadio

but recently, my desk has become

"but recently, my desk has become"

NewsRadio

a public dumping ground for half-eaten food.

"a public dumping ground for half-eaten food."

NewsRadio

Well, look, Bill, you're hardly ever at your desk.

"Well, look, Bill, you're hardly ever at your desk."

NewsRadio

It's in a high-traffic area.

"It's in a high-traffic area."

NewsRadio

Now, I would assume this was a mistake.

"Now, I would assume this was a mistake."

NewsRadio

So why don't you just throw it out

"So why don't you just throw it out"

NewsRadio

and forget about it?

"and forget about it?"

NewsRadio

What am I supposed to do the next time I find

"What am I supposed to do the next time I find"

NewsRadio

a cup of that and one of those

"a cup of that and one of those"

NewsRadio

on my desk?

"on my desk?"

NewsRadio

Throw them out and forget about it.

"Throw them out and forget about it."

NewsRadio

And the next time?

"And the next time?"

NewsRadio

Throw them out and forget about it.

"Throw them out and forget about it."

NewsRadio

I think I've made my point.

"I think I've made my point."

NewsRadio

You know, Bill, you're being paranoid.

"You know, Bill, you're being paranoid."

NewsRadio

And annoying.

"And annoying."

NewsRadio

Am I, Dave?

"Am I, Dave?"

NewsRadio

Am I?

"Am I?"

NewsRadio

It's like some cruel magic trick!

"It's like some cruel magic trick!"

NewsRadio

Dave!

"Dave!"

NewsRadio

Your office, please?

"Your office, please?"

NewsRadio

There's a few guidelines

"There's a few guidelines"

NewsRadio

I'd like you to follow for these bonuses.

"I'd like you to follow for these bonuses."

NewsRadio

Oh, sure, sir.

"Oh, sure, sir."

NewsRadio

Here you are. Here you go.

"Here you are. Here you go."

NewsRadio

Oh, thanks.

"Oh, thanks."

NewsRadio

"Tessio Brothers, Incorporated"?

""Tessio Brothers, Incorporated"?"

NewsRadio

Yeah, it's just a little company

"Yeah, it's just a little company"

NewsRadio

I do business with.

"I do business with."

NewsRadio

Oh. What do they do?

"Oh. What do they do?"

NewsRadio

They make pens.

"They make pens."

NewsRadio

Anyway, Dave...

"Anyway, Dave..."

NewsRadio

I like to give everyone a bonus of $400.

"I like to give everyone a bonus of $400."

NewsRadio

$400. Okay. That shouldn't be too hard.

"$400. Okay. That shouldn't be too hard."

NewsRadio

Except for one person,

"Except for one person,"

NewsRadio

who gets a bonus of $3000.

"who gets a bonus of $3000."

NewsRadio

3000?

"3000?"

NewsRadio

Yeah. Three fat louies, or as I call it,

"Yeah. Three fat louies, or as I call it,"

NewsRadio

the big bonus.

"the big bonus."

NewsRadio

It's a great motivator, Dave.

"It's a great motivator, Dave."

NewsRadio

Yeah. You're very generous, sir. Yeah. Thanks.

"Yeah. You're very generous, sir. Yeah. Thanks."

NewsRadio

I'd also like to give one person a bonus of zero dollars.

"I'd also like to give one person a bonus of zero dollars."

NewsRadio

Zero?

"Zero?"

NewsRadio

Yeah, zero dollars,

"Yeah, zero dollars,"

NewsRadio

or as I call it, the shaft.

"or as I call it, the shaft."

NewsRadio

That's an even better motivator, Dave.

"That's an even better motivator, Dave."

NewsRadio

Oh, uh, well, you know, sir, the standard bonus of $400?

"Oh, uh, well, you know, sir, the standard bonus of $400?"

NewsRadio

I think that's great.

"I think that's great."

NewsRadio

I think that's terrific.

"I think that's terrific."

NewsRadio

But the big bonus and, uh, the, uh, the shaft...

"But the big bonus and, uh, the, uh, the shaft..."

NewsRadio

now, I think that's just going to generate

"now, I think that's just going to generate"

NewsRadio

an atmosphere of paranoia and fear in the office.

"an atmosphere of paranoia and fear in the office."

NewsRadio

I see.

"I see."

NewsRadio

So, you figure out who gets what,

"So, you figure out who gets what,"

NewsRadio

I'll deliver the news.

"I'll deliver the news."

NewsRadio

I'll tell you what.

"I'll tell you what."

NewsRadio

Don't mention who's making the decision.

"Don't mention who's making the decision."

NewsRadio

I don't want anyone to get ticked off at you.

"I don't want anyone to get ticked off at you."

NewsRadio

Oh, well, thank you, sir.

"Oh, well, thank you, sir."

NewsRadio

So if no one's going to miss me for the next two minutes,

"So if no one's going to miss me for the next two minutes,"

NewsRadio

I'll be, uh... In the can.

"I'll be, uh... In the can."

NewsRadio

What? In the can?

"What? In the can?"

NewsRadio

No, I got to make a phone call.

"No, I got to make a phone call."

NewsRadio

I'm sorry, sir. I'll leave you to that, then.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'll leave you to that, then."

NewsRadio

You do that.

"You do that."

NewsRadio

Did Mr. James drop any hints

"Did Mr. James drop any hints"

NewsRadio

about who's getting the shaft this year?

"about who's getting the shaft this year?"

NewsRadio

No, Matthew,

"No, Matthew,"

NewsRadio

I don't think that's been figured out yet.

"I don't think that's been figured out yet."

NewsRadio

Okay, well, it better not be me. I'll tell you that.

"Okay, well, it better not be me. I'll tell you that."

NewsRadio

I take it you've gotten the shaft before?

"I take it you've gotten the shaft before?"

NewsRadio

Three times, David.

"Three times, David."

NewsRadio

I've been working here for three years, and...

"I've been working here for three years, and..."

NewsRadio

I have been thrice shafted.

"I have been thrice shafted."

NewsRadio

It does not feel good, my friend. Well, I can imagine.

"It does not feel good, my friend. Well, I can imagine."

NewsRadio

Show more clips