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Clips from Scrubs - My ABC's (S08E08)

"that he was actually watching Gina whizz"
Scrubs
"through a hole in his office wall."
Scrubs
"Which is why you're gonna go for this, okay?"
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"Okay."
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"So maybe you don't like him because he's a freaky, stoner weirdo."
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"No. Surprisingly, that tickles me."
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"- Did he say "back in the day"? - No."
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"Did he call you Dr. C?"
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"He did, but I liked it."
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"Does he like Hugh Jackman?"
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"Wrong again. You suck at this."
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"And where'd you get that psychobabble?"
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"From some skank at the mall."
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"Oh, my God. Is that a picture of a poo?"
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"No, that's not just any poo, Elliot."
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"I can't take my eyes off of it. It's gorgeous."
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"Jack's are bigger."
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"Just found my new screen saver."
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"Anyway, Turk, my intern, Katie, could really use a boost."
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"for the paper that you're doing?"
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"Sure, no problem."
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"Thanks, man. I owe you one."
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"Oh, my God. Look at these."
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"The owner of those lungs is gonna die, like, yesterday."
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"It's Mr. Fremont, patient of mine. His son's eight years old."
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"I'm sorry, buddy."
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"Whether you're frustrated by them..."
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"Well, I finished my double hot choc, I'm gonna head up."
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"You guys need anything else?"
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"No, thank you."
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"All right."
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"Okay, I wanna thank everyone who applied."
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"Unfortunately, I can only pick one. So..."
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"Damn it."
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"Listen, Jo, Mr. Fremont's scan came back"
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"and his lungs are covered with lesions. He doesn't have a lot of time."
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"I was glad I was here"
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"because I knew it would be hard for her to deal with."
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"I think I see what the problem is."
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"You have a hand inside of you."
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"Dude, been having fantasies about Muppets all day too?"
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"That's just uncalled-for. I'm freaked out, man."
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"I may just have to withhold sex from him."
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"and if I ask her to, she'll get him all worked up"
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"and then say that was for Elliot and then just roll over and go to sleep."
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"- No sex for Turk tonight. - Done."
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"No, I don't wanna play your Why Do I Hate this Intern game."
Scrubs
"Fine. I need to find somebody"
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"a little more qualified to talk about hate anyway."
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"That is so true. I only hate those that have wronged me."
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"Like, if they stole my stuff or put a penny in the door or..."
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"That guy. See that look he shot us, like he's so much better than we are?"
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"Well, he's dug his own grave, hasn't he? Let's do this."
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"All right, Denise, here's the deal."
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"We have to tell Mrs. Fremont"
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"is just gonna prolong the inevitable and eventually cause him more pain."
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"So I'm gonna tell her the initial bad news,"
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"There's got to be a better way to teach that."
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"Well, hubba hubba."
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"You be the patient and I'll be the doctor."
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"How's this?"
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"Elmo knows that together, we can get through this."
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"Okay, easy, buddy."
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"What? She's your woman?"
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"Turk, I am so mad at you."
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"Yeah, I know. Carla dragged me into the on-call room,"
Scrubs
"stripped butt naked, did a little belly dance"
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"Admit it, Katie never had a chance with you because she's a girl."
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"can you even name one other girl that you're friends with?"
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"Carla and a lovely woman by the name of Margaret."
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"Elliot, don't talk about my mama. All right? I will punch you in the head."
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"Turk, I was Katie once."
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"Guess what? Ed's gonna let me take his spot."
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"Dude, that's why I picked you."
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"It looked so cool."
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"Form a perfect seal around his mouth, and then... three times,"
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"J.D.: Mrs. Fremont."
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"No. No, he's been doing so well. No, it's not time yet."
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"Why wouldn't I wanna do anything I can to keep him alive?"
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"but I knew it was something she had to get through"
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"to become a more compassionate doctor."
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"Look, here's the deal."
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"and then, before you know it, his kidneys are toast."
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"So even with all our poking and prodding,"
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"but by then he would have suffered way more than he needed to"
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"because you were just too selfish to let him go."
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"The real Jo never would've done that."
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"Hey, skank."
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"Okay, I know I was being a little sexist earlier,"
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"but don't you also think Katie might have been playing you a little"
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"Turk, she wasn't even gonna sign up"
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"to help you with your stupid paper until I told her to."
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"That's funny. Because I went back and checked"
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"See? That's her name, right there. Above Ed's."
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"Time to go. Donny, I need a way-homer."
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"Bye, Bob!"
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"Whoa!"
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"Zwa."
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"And it wasn't until you gave up that research paper"
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"You're lazy."
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"Am I not doing as well as the other interns?"
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"Believe me, I will."
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"Nobody ever is."
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"You should go pick up your son."
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"In a way you can learn everything you need to know from watching it as a kid."
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"Oh, please, I've got Dr. Reid wrapped around my finger."
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"I'm gonna be fine around here."
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"Hey, you going to the hematology lecture tonight?"
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"Oh!"
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"because you were just too selfish to let him go."
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"Good morning, people."
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"I'm a little tired of her chipper attitude, so it's cool to see you just slam her."
Scrubs
"what is the next diagnostic move in checking for Zollinger-Ellison"
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"Actually, they do. That was a lie."
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"Yay, you hurt my feelings."
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"Well, then, thank you. Let's do this."
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"- Can you help me out with something? - You. Me. Help."
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"Of course, Dr. Dorian."
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"J.D.: "Sir." Loving this girl's energy."
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"What was it?"
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