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Clips from 30 Rock - Secret Santa (S04E04)

"Don't go."
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"She'll be on the 12:10 out of Penn Station."
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"if you had never left your hometown?"
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"I've spent my whole life trying to erase where I came from."
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"I'm homesick."
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"Well, you'll stay in touch, right?"
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"Nancy's going back to her husband."
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"Her life."
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"No."
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"No."
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"♪ Things for you and me ♪"
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"And I figured I owed you a kiss goodbye."
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"♪ And this song of mine ♪"
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"♪ In three quarter time ♪"
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"and I did not reimburse him for gas."
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"Zero dollars."
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"And don't worry about my present."
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"I already got the greatest Christmas gift"
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"You're welcome."
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"What did we do?"
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"Come here, pal."
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"My angry God is punishing them."
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"♪ In three quarter time ♪"
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"♪ Merry Christmas to you ♪"
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"Are you Larry Wilcox?"
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"Yes, ma'am, this evening, you have permission"
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"Oh, but, uh, no sex stuff and no touching my gun."
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"Merry Christmas, Lemon."
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"Okay."
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"Well, he promised to get me on Dancing With the Stars."
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"Your hair is looking less weird."
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"Thanks."
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"Okay, Christmas gifts."
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"Well, he keeps telling me that he wants skinny jeans."
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"Aw, she'll love that."
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"Okay."
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"Uh, Jack?"
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"Jack Donaghy?"
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"Huh, well, I've never exchanged gifts with Jack before."
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"But we've known each other four years."
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"I mean, we're friends, right?"
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"You guys remind me of that bantering couple"
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"in that old movie."
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"Um... Meet the Parents."
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"The company has acquired an up-and-coming social networking"
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"site called YouFace."
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"Now this picture will be my "PhoLo"."
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"who want to exchange pervy emails with their old"
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"high school boyfriends."
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"Do you want to exchange Christmas presents this year?"
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"Great, so what do you want?"
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"Well, in my family, everybody just writes down what they want"
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"And everybody has a great Christmas."
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"Lemon, gift giving is the purest expression of friendship."
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"So bath salts in a coffee mug..."
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"would be..."
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"and give it to the cleaning ladies."
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"Yeah, of course."
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"Jenna, would you care to chip in?"
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"I'm doing my own thing this year."
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"She does this every year."
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"She doesn't give the money because she knows that"
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"and she'll get credit for it anyway."
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"But that would require me to have some"
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"remaining life force, Danny."
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"So I'm going to go have a drink alone at the Oyster Bar."
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"by someone else on YouFace."
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"Would you get us some pens?"
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"She wasn't my girlfriend, Lemon."
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"My first crush was Larry Wilcox."
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"Bowl haircut?"
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"Oh, mine got pretty real."
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"Here is a woman I haven't seen in 25 years."
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"One day on YouFace, and she finds me,"
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"tells me that she's coming down to pick up her sons at Fordham,"
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"and she'd love to swing by."
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"What does that mean?"
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"Let's look at her page."
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"W-W-W..."
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"Got it."
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"Is YouFace hyphenated?"
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"Huh, six months ago, her status said she was married."
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"Nope, do not put a hyphen in YouFace."
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"but they are not being treated with respect."
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"Kenneth."
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""Seeka Sanna"."
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""Seeka Sanna"."
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"Ugh, He takes the two worst parts of Christmas,"
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"Unless they do."
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"The whole thing was so confusing,"
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"in our studio-wide Secret Santa Fun Swap?"
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"I totally would do Secret Santa, but I don't believe in Christmas"
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"What do y'all believe in?"
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"Oh, many things."
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"That a man can have up to nine wives if two of them are male."
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"Good Merlinpeen."
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"Is this a store Jack likes?"
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"Unbelievable."
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"on Mr. Donaghy's personal gift list?"
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"Why not? We're friends."
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"I tried once."
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"You will never match him."
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"And I'll be here next year to take you off of that list."
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"Oh, Lemon."
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"Come in here for a minute."
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"It's like a shag carpet."
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"I want to sit on it and play a board game."
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"Nice to meet you."
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"Is your family here?"
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"My husband couldn't make it."
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"Oh, I brought something to show you."
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"I know."
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"♪ Hey, Beantown ♪"
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"♪ The Puritans found you ♪"
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"♪ Water surrounds you ♪"
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"♪ So let's watch the Sox play ball ♪"
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"Yeah, I did plays in high school too."
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"I was John Proctor in "The Crucible"."
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"Oh, you went to an all girls' school?"
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"No."
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