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Clips from The Simpsons - Papa Don't Leech (S19E19)

"and I pay you double next year?"
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"Sir, I didn't get this "skepticism" merit badge"
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"falling for promises like that."
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"I would strongly support that measure."
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"Just give me those cookies!"
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"This is a low point for my administration."
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"No. You give it."
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"People of Springfield, our city is broke."
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"I've been reduced to using this cheap novelty gavel."
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"Homer Simpson."
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"I know a lot of you from church and the market and such."
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"in hard times like these that we Americans come together."
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"So I say we roll up our sleeves, and fake a disaster"
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"to trick the federal government out of relief money."
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"Rip off the federal government?"
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"Mmm, I have reservations..."
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"for dinner in five minutes."
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"So all in favor, say "aye"!"
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"- Aye! - The "ayes" have it."
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"Now, when exactly"
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"did the hurricane pass through your town?"
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"Er, uh, five minutes ago."
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"You just missed it."
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"FEMA will help you rebuild this town."
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"Your $10 million will arrive as soon as you submit this form,"
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"and the, uh, $2,500 processing fee."
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"out of $2,500. We are now worse than broke."
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"Panic not, fellow Springfielders!"
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"I've gone through the town's financial records, and it turns out"
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"there are millions in uncollected city taxes."
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"We shall collect each and every back tax owed!"
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"Everyone from..."
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"Comic Book Guy to..."
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"... Milhouse!"
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"No one shall be spared!"
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"as well as this respected reporter"
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"o/~ Bunk with me"
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"tonight... o/~"
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"Uh, really, Lurleen?"
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"Hey, Dad,"
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"that's the singer you used to manage!"
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"Oh, right."
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"and Lurleen wanted to bunk his brains out!"
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"But I forget how Mom felt about it."
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"Kids, marriage is like a car."
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"and this country can't make one"
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"walked past the showroom and didn't even go inside."
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"Now let's return to watching the news."
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"Ms. Lumpkin owed $50,000 in back taxes."
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"With penalties, interest and the celebrity resentment tax,"
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"that sum has grown to $12 million."
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"However, she's been missing for several years,"
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"since her career went into a downward spiral."
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"I told her not to go into one of those."
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"of destroying someone they once admired."
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"Got her!"
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"Krusty?"
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"Don't you dare ruin the moment!"
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"Look at those idiots."
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"I bet Lurleen's a million miles away right now."
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"Hey, Homer."
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"Shh! I'm more wanted than the last petal"
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"- on a bloomin' onion. - Don't worry. You can stay with us."
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"I'm sure Marge will be cool."
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"I'm taking you to your home, before you wreck mine!"
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"You live here?"
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"Bye, Marge."
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"Well, at least she's got a friend."
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"It's your turn to clean the toilet."
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"You're holding it."
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"Thanks, Marge."
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"Well, you're a bigger woman than I am."
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"Are you calling me fat?"
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"No, no, no!"
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"I'll just be quiet."
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"Lurleen, this barbecue is delicious!"
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"Just kiddin'. It's actually chicken."
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"Well, I think it's wonderful."
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"My diet starts tomorrow!"
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"Listen, I'm sorry I called you all those mean things"
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"- Confederate degenerate? - Southern-fried succubus?"
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"Oh, that's all right, Marge."
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"I'm just so grateful that y'all took me in"
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"- Chief, you okay? - Yeah, yeah."
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"Why'd you jump off the roof?"
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"but country music changed, and I went out of style."
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"Objection! Speculating of trends in country music."
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"to make payments of a hundred dollars a week"
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"till such time as your music comes back in style"
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"or becomes appreciated for its camp value."
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"All right, what's the next case?"
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"Judge, next we have a man"
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"in "The Case of the Horny Husband.""
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"What the...?"
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"Well, I thought if we acted like The People's Court,"
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"some day we'd beThe People's Court."
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"And, uh, well, a bailiff can dream, can't he?"
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"No, he can't."
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"Did it go up your nose? Between your toes?"
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"Most of my money went to my ex-husbands."
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"Boy, you sure have married a lot of super-hunks."
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"Well, from now on,"
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"the only thing I'm gonna be married to is my work."
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"and clean the vomit out of the pool table pockets,"
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"who's, uh, actually me with a fake moustache."
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"Say, Lurleen, are you Jamaican?"
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"That's sweet, but I'm not lookin' to date."
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"'Cause you reminded me that I'm not looking a David."
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"So... so great."
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"Hey, Lurleen, I'm going down to the rock quarry tonight"
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"to throw stones at the woodchucks."
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"- Want to come? - No."
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"Someone's lookin' at a snake in her mailbox."
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"What could make her hate men like that?"
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"o/~ I was cryin' in my cradle o/~"
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"o/~ I know no amount of liquor"
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"So that's it."
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"man in her life... her father."
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"How could a man just abandon his family?"
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"By which I mean, what is the method"
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