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Clips from Scrubs - Our First Day of School (S09E09)

"LUCY: Please not me, please not me."
Scrubs
"It ain't no use running, little girl!"
Scrubs
"First one bringing me a med student gets a juicy bone. He gets a juicy bone."
Scrubs
"Ninety-one, here's how we play."
Scrubs
"I'm not gonna do anything to help this dying man"
Scrubs
"until you answer these three very simple questions."
Scrubs
"What is it called when a blood clot"
Scrubs
"What is it called when tuberculosis affects the spine?"
Scrubs
"who did this whenever he blocked a shot?"
Scrubs
"Ooh, I'd hurry. His heart's slowing down."
Scrubs
"And he's dead."
Scrubs
"Not because of you. I'm not insane."
Scrubs
"He was dead when we walked over here."
Scrubs
"But just a stunningly horrible job, nonetheless."
Scrubs
"Guys, tomorrow you'll be divided into groups"
Scrubs
"and you'll be given your cadavers."
Scrubs
"So, great first day, everybody. Who wants to keep this party going?"
Scrubs
"Everyone, take a mix CD on their way out."
Scrubs
"For those of you who are fans of a young Ms. Miley Cyrus,"
Scrubs
"I recommend the green ones. She's heavily featured."
Scrubs
"- Professor Cox... - Actually, it's both."
Scrubs
"- Doctor-Professor Cox? - Yes?"
Scrubs
"Sometimes I feel like you're not even trying to teach me."
Scrubs
"I'm not."
Scrubs
"I generally don't waste time on people who aren't going to make it."
Scrubs
"LUCY: Thanks?"
Scrubs
"- Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? - What do you want?"
Scrubs
"Well, I get the whole trial-by-fire thing, and you're wonderful at it, really."
Scrubs
"- Don't ever touch me. - Sorry. Um..."
Scrubs
"But you seem to go out of your way to pick on the weakest kids."
Scrubs
"Maybe you could, I don't know, not do that."
Scrubs
"Thank you for the feedback. It's invaluable."
Scrubs
"maybe a good solution would be for me to unload"
Scrubs
"my years of rage and frustration and pain onto your head,"
Scrubs
"and your head alone."
Scrubs
"Are we locked down to that, or can we keep spitballing here?"
Scrubs
"- Very locked in. - Looking forward to it."
Scrubs
"Not you. Just, something I say whenever I'm pissed."
Scrubs
"- Whoa. - None of them showed up."
Scrubs
"I got us all these glow-in-the-dark necklaces"
Scrubs
"so we wouldn't lose each other when we were out on the town."
Scrubs
"- J. D: Nerds! - Losers!"
Scrubs
"(BELL DINGS)"
Scrubs
"I feel so alive."
Scrubs
"Come on, let's go get a beer."
Scrubs
"No."
Scrubs
"J. D: We all go through life worrying about what other people think of us."
Scrubs
"Hey,"
Scrubs
"Man, I must be the worst teacher ever."
Scrubs
"J. D: The truth is, the harshest words are the ones we say about ourselves."
Scrubs
"- Are you okay, sweetie? - No, Ben."
Scrubs
"I don't belong here."
Scrubs
"LUCY: I was so depressed yesterday."
Scrubs
"To cheer myself up, I made what I think is a great decision."
Scrubs
"(CAMERA CLICKING)"
Scrubs
"So, what are we dealing with here? "Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.""
Scrubs
"- Giant drag. - Hey."
Scrubs
"Come here."
Scrubs
"Hope you enjoyed your last day of med school."
Scrubs
"You know that bust you pass on your way to pick up your tiny paycheck?"
Scrubs
"Notice any resemblance? Symmetric features, strong jaw?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, that's my pop-pop. Paid for this whole building."
Scrubs
"So here's the skinny. I'm Teflon."
Scrubs
"You can fire bullets at me if you want, but be careful."
Scrubs
"When they ricochet off me, they sometimes hit other people."
Scrubs
"Puh-ching. Puh-ching."
Scrubs
"- Puh-ching. - Don't you "puh-ching" me!"
Scrubs
"LUCY: My dad always says every day is a new day,"
Scrubs
"so today I'm gonna be confident, strong,"
Scrubs
"and nothing will knock me off my game."
Scrubs
"(GRUNTS)"
Scrubs
"Who am I kidding? I'm doomed."
Scrubs
"- Has anyone seen the crash cart? - It's over by Bed 4."
Scrubs
"Now, can you make that out?"
Scrubs
"I think I heard the words "bear fight," but that makes no sense."
Scrubs
"You're right, that's super fun. I love doing things with you."
Scrubs
"Thanks, Perry, I needed that."
Scrubs
"I'm having a little trouble getting my teacher groove going."
Scrubs
"Maybe you suck at it."
Scrubs
"Stay open for business in here. In your heart-cage."
Scrubs
"I guess I'm just tired of weeding out the weak to protect the rest of the herd"
Scrubs
"like I always do."
Scrubs
"Maybe you could mix it up a little."
Scrubs
"Try investing emotionally in one of them."
Scrubs
"A kid stood up to me just the other day,"
Scrubs
"and I kind of felt connected to him."
Scrubs
"Good, good, good."
Scrubs
"I'm sure you probably knew him for all of 30 seconds."
Scrubs
"I thought we were over this."
Scrubs
"LUCY: I'm drowning here. I wish there was just someone"
Scrubs
"who could fly up and rescue me from all this."
Scrubs
"J. D: I feel like I'd get back on track"
Scrubs
"if I could just find one student to connect with."
Scrubs
"One kid that really needs me."
Scrubs
"I mean, that's what it's all about, right? Reaching out."
Scrubs
"(WHISTLES)"
Scrubs
"- What's your name? - Drew."
Scrubs
"I'm taking an interest in you. Carry on."
Scrubs
"- That's not good for me, is it? - Drew, you know I don't care."
Scrubs
"What up, Dizzle?"
Scrubs
"You dropped something. I got it."
Scrubs
"J. D: I'm not always a believer in serendipity,"
Scrubs
"but sometimes the world just brings things together."
Scrubs
"It fell out of that Cole kid's notebook."
Scrubs
"Oh, don't be sad. It's just... Oh! Wow!"
Scrubs
"That is a very graphic naked picture of you."
Scrubs
"So don't worry about it. I shouldn't have looked."
Scrubs
"I know, you're Dr. Dorian."
Scrubs
"This area's technically the quad, so it's J.D."
Scrubs
"- Lucy. - Nice to meet you, Lucy."
Scrubs
"LUCY: Don't let him leave. Say something, Lucy."
Scrubs
"J. D?"
Scrubs
"- Can I help you with something? - Dr. Cox is all over me. I can't take it."
Scrubs
"Come with me. Come with me."
Scrubs
"Lucy, to win at the game of Perry Cox, you have to stand up to him."
Scrubs
"He just wants to know that you're strong enough to survive here."
Scrubs
"So you need to go ahead and show him."
Scrubs
"(LUCY CLEARING THROAT)"
Scrubs
"Check it out."
Scrubs
"Pulmonary embolism. Pott's disease. And Dikembe Mutombo."
Scrubs
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