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Clips from Scrubs - Our First Day of School (S09E09)

J. D: Sacred Heart. Eight years of great memories.

"J. D: Sacred Heart. Eight years of great memories."

Scrubs

I'm just back to teach some classes.

"I'm just back to teach some classes."

Scrubs

How cool is that?

"How cool is that?"

Scrubs

- That was heavy. - Hey, do good today.

"- That was heavy. - Hey, do good today."

Scrubs

J. D: Part of me hates how familiar this seems.

"J. D: Part of me hates how familiar this seems."

Scrubs

- Kiwi. - What?

"- Kiwi. - What?"

Scrubs

- I'm Lucy. - DENISE: I don't care.

"- I'm Lucy. - DENISE: I don't care."

Scrubs

Hey, come on. You already know if you're in or out.

"Hey, come on. You already know if you're in or out."

Scrubs

Plus, I'm the only teacher here worth a damn

"Plus, I'm the only teacher here worth a damn"

Scrubs

So watch your ass. Good day.

"So watch your ass. Good day."

Scrubs

They told me to give out fun nicknames for team building.

"They told me to give out fun nicknames for team building."

Scrubs

I just wanted to thank you, on behalf of all of us, for getting us pizza.

"I just wanted to thank you, on behalf of all of us, for getting us pizza."

Scrubs

Speaking of which, little administrative thing.

"Speaking of which, little administrative thing."

Scrubs

Don't compromise the feeling of some other guy

"Don't compromise the feeling of some other guy"

Scrubs

BOTH: It's guy love between two guys

"BOTH: It's guy love between two guys"

Scrubs

Mmm, you smell like prison.

"Mmm, you smell like prison."

Scrubs

But we haven't worked together in over a year.

"But we haven't worked together in over a year."

Scrubs

Is it go to Vermont and make this thing legal?

"Is it go to Vermont and make this thing legal?"

Scrubs

Eagle! Oh, hey, Perry.

"Eagle! Oh, hey, Perry."

Scrubs

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

"(THEME SONG PLAYING)"

Scrubs

All I had to do was sew these elbow patches on

"All I had to do was sew these elbow patches on"

Scrubs

and take the shoulder pads out.

"and take the shoulder pads out."

Scrubs

- But he's coming back... - No.

"- But he's coming back... - No."

Scrubs

J.D.'s going to teach here, too.

"J.D.'s going to teach here, too."

Scrubs

Oh, Turk, sometimes I'll teach them, sometimes they'll teach me.

"Oh, Turk, sometimes I'll teach them, sometimes they'll teach me."

Scrubs

- How long ago did she pass? - About two days.

"- How long ago did she pass? - About two days."

Scrubs

No, no, no. That means I'm in and out of the hospital a lot.

"No, no, no. That means I'm in and out of the hospital a lot."

Scrubs

Now, eat it again. At least we know you're a good listener.

"Now, eat it again. At least we know you're a good listener."

Scrubs

You've already been to med school once already when you were 21,

"You've already been to med school once already when you were 21,"

Scrubs

and all the pictures you have in here of your friends.

"and all the pictures you have in here of your friends."

Scrubs

J. D: Lights, camera, teach.

"J. D: Lights, camera, teach."

Scrubs

- Hey, should we be taking notes? - That's a good question, fellow.

"- Hey, should we be taking notes? - That's a good question, fellow."

Scrubs

(DOGS BARKING)

"(DOGS BARKING)"

Scrubs

You go get them! Woo!

"You go get them! Woo!"

Scrubs

And what was the name of the African NBA center

"And what was the name of the African NBA center"

Scrubs

All right, we finally found a signal that works. Jazz hands, love it.

"All right, we finally found a signal that works. Jazz hands, love it."

Scrubs

Oh! Thanks.

"Oh! Thanks."

Scrubs

- You don't mean that, do you? - I don't.

"- You don't mean that, do you? - I don't."

Scrubs

And since you don't see yourself as one of the weak ones,

"And since you don't see yourself as one of the weak ones,"

Scrubs

Whore!

"Whore!"

Scrubs

And when I'm with a whore.

"And when I'm with a whore."

Scrubs

It's their first day of med school. Come on, you remember how we were.

"It's their first day of med school. Come on, you remember how we were."

Scrubs

Everybody at that party had sex.

"Everybody at that party had sex."

Scrubs

aren't those your students in there with Kelso?

"aren't those your students in there with Kelso?"

Scrubs

Yep, I've got a good feeling about this guy.

"Yep, I've got a good feeling about this guy."

Scrubs

Hey, darling, I'm Dr. Cole. I'll be your physician.

"Hey, darling, I'm Dr. Cole. I'll be your physician."

Scrubs

- Yeah, I don't see it. - I'm sorry, what?

"- Yeah, I don't see it. - I'm sorry, what?"

Scrubs

Why do you have to lash out, Perry?

"Why do you have to lash out, Perry?"

Scrubs

It's not like I tried for eight years or anything to get your love.

"It's not like I tried for eight years or anything to get your love."

Scrubs

Come on, grab me like a man. Let's do this.

"Come on, grab me like a man. Let's do this."

Scrubs

You know, we're gonna go over a lot of that stuff in class.

"You know, we're gonna go over a lot of that stuff in class."

Scrubs

I'm both a married man and a beloved professor.

"I'm both a married man and a beloved professor."

Scrubs

Doctor... Doctor-Professor Cox,

"Doctor... Doctor-Professor Cox,"

Scrubs

We'll see.

"We'll see."

Scrubs

I cry all the time.

"I cry all the time."

Scrubs

LUCY: Ben.

"LUCY: Ben."

Scrubs

I got a little mad at that Cole kid

"I got a little mad at that Cole kid"

Scrubs

and I threw a blanket over his head and then sat on him.

"and I threw a blanket over his head and then sat on him."

Scrubs

- I haven't really thought that far ahead. - I got a plan.

"- I haven't really thought that far ahead. - I got a plan."

Scrubs

Todd, can you come here and sit on this?

"Todd, can you come here and sit on this?"

Scrubs

(GRUNTS)

"(GRUNTS)"

Scrubs

This place will live forever.

"This place will live forever."

Scrubs

and rebuilt it on the med school campus.

"and rebuilt it on the med school campus."

Scrubs

First, though, I need to do my morning good-luck ritual.

"First, though, I need to do my morning good-luck ritual."

Scrubs

And seven. That's one good-luck kiss for every month you've been in there.

"And seven. That's one good-luck kiss for every month you've been in there."

Scrubs

- Are you done yet? - Not yet.

"- Are you done yet? - Not yet."

Scrubs

And thank you for making Mommy's boobs so much bigger.

"And thank you for making Mommy's boobs so much bigger."

Scrubs

They're almost jugs.

"They're almost jugs."

Scrubs

Seriously, I think I can probably rest them on your head.

"Seriously, I think I can probably rest them on your head."

Scrubs

- Check it out. - Okay.

"- Check it out. - Okay."

Scrubs

Yeah. Whoa, talk about a 10-gallon hat.

"Yeah. Whoa, talk about a 10-gallon hat."

Scrubs

Donny, no questions right now, okay? This is private.

"Donny, no questions right now, okay? This is private."

Scrubs

- They're still looking. - I said this is private! Turn around!

"- They're still looking. - I said this is private! Turn around!"

Scrubs

- Bye. - Bye.

"- Bye. - Bye."

Scrubs

I can still feel them on my head.

"I can still feel them on my head."

Scrubs

How sweet is he?

"How sweet is he?"

Scrubs

I hope I can find a way to make this all feel new.

"I hope I can find a way to make this all feel new."

Scrubs

LUCY: Oh, my God, the first day of med school.

"LUCY: Oh, my God, the first day of med school."

Scrubs

who don't know that I used to wear a back brace.

"who don't know that I used to wear a back brace."

Scrubs

I can look left.

"I can look left."

Scrubs

Yep, new sights, new sounds, even new smells.

"Yep, new sights, new sounds, even new smells."

Scrubs

- I smell kiwi. - Yeah, it's my shampoo.

"- I smell kiwi. - Yeah, it's my shampoo."

Scrubs

- I love kiwis, okay? - I love them, too.

"- I love kiwis, okay? - I love them, too."

Scrubs

Actually that's not true. They're hairy. They look like monkey nuts.

"Actually that's not true. They're hairy. They look like monkey nuts."

Scrubs

Don't smell people. It's weird.

"Don't smell people. It's weird."

Scrubs

LUCY: Regroup, Lucy. Find an ally.

"LUCY: Regroup, Lucy. Find an ally."

Scrubs

- Hi. I'm Lucy. - Cole.

"- Hi. I'm Lucy. - Cole."

Scrubs

Hey, after class you want to go somewhere

"Hey, after class you want to go somewhere"

Scrubs

and get weird with each other?

"and get weird with each other?"

Scrubs

I feel like you skipped a few steps.

"I feel like you skipped a few steps."

Scrubs

So, what's the deal, girl?

"So, what's the deal, girl?"

Scrubs

Not interested.

"Not interested."

Scrubs

Medicine is...

"Medicine is..."

Scrubs

Well, it's a dead career.

"Well, it's a dead career."

Scrubs

Thanks to insurance companies and malpractice lawyers,

"Thanks to insurance companies and malpractice lawyers,"

Scrubs

you have absolutely no hope of finding a rewarding or satisfying profession

"you have absolutely no hope of finding a rewarding or satisfying profession"

Scrubs

in this once-noble field.

"in this once-noble field."

Scrubs

The only exception to this very true rule is the following.

"The only exception to this very true rule is the following."

Scrubs

If you are lucky enough to go to a great medical school,

"If you are lucky enough to go to a great medical school,"

Scrubs

then, my children, you got a real shot.

"then, my children, you got a real shot."

Scrubs

Unfortunately, you're all screwed,

"Unfortunately, you're all screwed,"

Scrubs

would be an honest-to-God compliment.

"would be an honest-to-God compliment."

Scrubs

and I already hate each and every one of you.

"and I already hate each and every one of you."

Scrubs

Would you like to know why?

"Would you like to know why?"

Scrubs

Well, it turns out you're not actually medical students at all.

"Well, it turns out you're not actually medical students at all."

Scrubs

You are all murderers and assassins that have been sent here

"You are all murderers and assassins that have been sent here"

Scrubs

to try to kill my patients.

"to try to kill my patients."

Scrubs

Here's the bottom line. If you do get a good, clean kill on a patient,

"Here's the bottom line. If you do get a good, clean kill on a patient,"

Scrubs

go ahead and take a pinkie or an ear as a trophy.

"go ahead and take a pinkie or an ear as a trophy."

Scrubs

I get that, I do. But, please, also know this.

"I get that, I do. But, please, also know this."

Scrubs

I'm ready for you, have been for a while.

"I'm ready for you, have been for a while."

Scrubs

Okay, I hope everyone enjoyed orientation with Dr. Cox.

"Okay, I hope everyone enjoyed orientation with Dr. Cox."

Scrubs

I'm Dr. Mahoney, your student advisor.

"I'm Dr. Mahoney, your student advisor."

Scrubs

Here's some crappy pizza. Commence feeding.

"Here's some crappy pizza. Commence feeding."

Scrubs

You joining us, Gramps?

"You joining us, Gramps?"

Scrubs

You know, 'cause you're old for a med student.

"You know, 'cause you're old for a med student."

Scrubs

- It's working. - Look, uh, Drew,

"- It's working. - Look, uh, Drew,"

Scrubs

I don't like dealing with, well, people,

"I don't like dealing with, well, people,"

Scrubs

and all these kids obviously look up to you.

"and all these kids obviously look up to you."

Scrubs

I've never spoken to any of these people.

"I've never spoken to any of these people."

Scrubs

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