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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Sweetums (S02E02)

"I have been a horse's ass."
Parks and Recreation
"Jerry! Jerry!"
Parks and Recreation
"I'm gonna follow you"
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"and play the Black Eyed Peas on a non-stop loop!"
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"It's a little douchie."
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"Good call, J."
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"I'm getting divorced, so I'm trying to up my game."
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"Who am I supposed to ask for fashion advice? Jerry?"
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"Sequins, minus the gloves."
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"Hey, what's up? I'm Tom. Is my shirt lighting up? 'Cause I didn't even notice."
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"Be honest. Which cane do you like better? Dragon? Serpent?"
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"Belt buckle, says, "What's cracking?""
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"Eagle medallion!"
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"Well, as far as white, leather suits go..."
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"I like it."
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"leading sweet-treat manufacturer for over 80 years."
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"Starting next month,"
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"I mean, I don't love the idea of corporate sponsorship, but Sweetums is an institution."
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"Although candy is our bread and butter,"
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"we also care about the health of our customers."
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"Take a look."
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"And I'd like to introduce to you our new line of energy bars, NutriYums."
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"then we add just a little bit of Sweetums corn syrup,"
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"a little drop of sunshine, and some other stuff."
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"And since they're from Sweetums, you know your kids are gonna love them."
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"Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them. They're all wearing vests!"
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"Dakota? Denver?"
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"NutriYums. Where nutritious meets tasty. By Sweetums."
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"If you can't beat them..."
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"Sweetums! Sweetums!"
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"I could not be happier about this."
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"Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks."
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"Brendanawicz! Quick question, do you personally know Xzibit?"
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"It's really nice of you to compliment my pickup truck with no ulterior motives."
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"into my new bachelor pad, since my divorce is finally going down."
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"You can bring up the Mark-mobile, help me move, right?"
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"I'm totally blanking on a valid excuse right now,"
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"Andy, I have a very interesting business proposal for you."
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"I'm moving a lot of heavy stuff out of my place"
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"Afterwards, I'll take the cardboard from the boxes and use it for break dancing."
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"I'll go, too. Really?"
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"'Cause an hour ago"
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"Shut up. I don't have anything else to do. Do you want help or not?"
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"You gotta be kidding me. I'm fine."
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"What are you, 5'11", 210 pounds, three whiskeys?"
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"Looks like you are just over the line into impaired."
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"It comes in handy."
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"And on the back, it teaches you how to play blackjack."
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"My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his Corn Flakes."
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"I'm not gonna argue with you, Ron. We're just gonna sit and wait"
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"until, you know, you're safe to drive, which would be in about"
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""Insurance is a side bet when you wager half of your original bet"
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""because you believe the dealer has a 10 in the hole.""
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"Twenty minutes."
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"I did. I watched a really good... What is that?"
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"This is what I did last night."
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"After I got home, I drank six more glasses of whiskey"
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"and then I finished crafting this small harp,"
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"using a band saw, a spoke shave and an oscillating spindle sander."
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"You'll notice I'm holding up yesterday's newspaper,"
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"so you can tell that I'm not lying."
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"Ooh, I thought the mover supplied those."
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"Don't talk about yourself like that. And bring some coffee."
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"Hey, are you moving out? Have you told Wendy how you feel yet?"
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"Waiting for the right time. It's right now."
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"Just don't worry about it. I'm fine."
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"Oh, my God. They're amazing."
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"They're more than amazing."
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"Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry."
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"No? Well, it's not less."
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"Everything Sweetums makes is off the charts."
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"I like their candy fingernails."
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"It's not that crazy. Krackel bars, also healthy and delicious."
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"No, they're not."
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"Ann! Oh! Look at you! You're looking pretty unhealthy today."
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"You might need one of these, NutriYum, by Sweetums."
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"If you can't beat them, Sweetums!"
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"I need to go check my e-mail."
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"We're gonna sell these in the park now."
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"No, they're not. There's a picture of Lance Armstrong on there."
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"There's only eight grams of fat. Yeah. Per serving."
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"A bar is four servings."
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"Well, people seem to enjoy them. Look how happy everybody is."
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"Yeah, that's a sugar rush."
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"'Cause I've eaten, like, 40 of these. Oh, God!"
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"Generally, I like to stay out of other people's business."
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"Okay."
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"Get it. I can't open them."
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"I hate it here. This place is evil."
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"Here, just let me stick them under my shirt. No."
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"Hey, Marci. Leslie."
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"Oh, I guess not. It's a movie."
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"You're pretty cocky for someone whose job is obsolete because of the Internet."
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"Let's see."
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"Hmm. You seem to have a $40 late fee"
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"on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm."
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"No, I don't."
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"Yeah, you do."
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"Punk-ass book jockeys!"
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"I can go ahead and sign off on it?"
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"You betcha. Actually, no."
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"No. We are worried that the energy bars"
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"that they're gonna sell are grossly unhealthy"
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"and they're misleading people about what's actually in them."
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"No, we're not worried about that. We're fine and we sign off."
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"Sidebar, Ron. I did some research, and NutriYums are terrible for you."
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"I don't care. We're doing it."
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"That's a... We're in a sidebar."
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"Do you not care about your city's health?"
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"Paul, can you and I have a sidebar?"
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"Okay. I think maybe we should hold a public forum."
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"Let's do it. Paul!"
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"Sidebar, Paul. Ron's upset because I didn't let him drive last night."
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"Stop sidebarring."
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"Somebody's grouchy."
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"It is, yeah. And some furniture."
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"Dude, Deep Blue Sea."
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"Greatest movie ever made."
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"That's the Canadian version, 22 extra minutes,"
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"and there's a bonus audio track where LL Cool J raps all his dialog."
Parks and Recreation
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