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Clips from Louie (2010) - So Old / Playdate (S01E01)

"I want a precious baby of my very own to take care of."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, dude."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, look at her tits."
Louie (2010)
"I want her to feed my little baby with her big tits. Oh, yeah.""
Louie (2010)
"That's what that is."
Louie (2010)
"But we make it this separate thing. Animals must think we're idiots."
Louie (2010)
""They don't know what they're--"
Louie (2010)
"He's coming on her tits. He's a moron, this guy.""
Louie (2010)
"Whoo-hoo, dooh. Just, whoops."
Louie (2010)
"It just looks stupid to them."
Louie (2010)
"Anyway, I'm a-- Ahem. I'm a father."
Louie (2010)
"I'm a father. Why?"
Louie (2010)
"It's weird, the kind of things people will clap for."
Louie (2010)
"It is interesting."
Louie (2010)
""There you go.""
Louie (2010)
""I ate them both.""
Louie (2010)
""Wish I'd had-- Wish I'd waited."
Louie (2010)
"Maybe a premature clap right there with that.""
Louie (2010)
"I mean, some parents are okay."
Louie (2010)
"Some parents are douche bags."
Louie (2010)
"Good evening."
Louie (2010)
"Good evening, may I have your attention? Yes."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you, good evening."
Louie (2010)
"As always, we are really grateful for those of you who pitch in here..."
Louie (2010)
"...and add your ideas."
Louie (2010)
"Except you never use any of our ideas or really listen."
Louie (2010)
"Jay, I don't think you can say that and be fair."
Louie (2010)
"Look, I am more than happy to look at your ideas."
Louie (2010)
"Blah, blah, blah, blah."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry, what was that? Sorry?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, it's my first PTA meeting."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, well, thank you, thank you for coming."
Louie (2010)
"Thanks. I was wondering, what is meant by "fatigue problem"?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I'm curious about that too."
Louie (2010)
"It's also my first PTA meeting."
Louie (2010)
"I work, hi."
Louie (2010)
"...as being a marked decline in the spirit and interest and energy of the kids here..."
Louie (2010)
"...usually around noon or right after lunch."
Louie (2010)
"It's because of the lunch."
Louie (2010)
"They're being demoralized. You fill them with academics."
Louie (2010)
"For now, we are focusing on the lack of physical activity."
Louie (2010)
"Now, we still don't have a gym because of last year's diarrhea flood."
Louie (2010)
"Excuse me, excuse me. - Yes."
Louie (2010)
"My name is Nancy Cartesian."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, Jesus."
Louie (2010)
"He has definitely suffered from the fatigue syndrome."
Louie (2010)
"In my opinion..."
Louie (2010)
"...it's because of the competitive nature of this school, of the children--"
Louie (2010)
"When are they supposed to dance?"
Louie (2010)
"It's the academics."
Louie (2010)
"This place is still stuck in the '70s. Who still teaches math anymore?"
Louie (2010)
"We've been talking about introducing some competitive sports."
Louie (2010)
"I think our kids just need to be allowed to play more creatively."
Louie (2010)
"You are all way off. This problem's-- Isn't it just--? It's school, right?"
Louie (2010)
"So, I mean, school sucks."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, you do what you can to improve it, but it's not-- It's--"
Louie (2010)
"In the end, there's a limit because it's school."
Louie (2010)
"And school sucks."
Louie (2010)
"Remember?"
Louie (2010)
"Hey. Hey."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I don't think your "school sucks" initiative..."
Louie (2010)
"...is gonna get much support. Mm-hm."
Louie (2010)
"Just saying."
Louie (2010)
"I know. I don't even know why I came."
Louie (2010)
"I guess I just figured you gotta go to one PTA meeting."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, your son, um-- Serge."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry, I don't know anybody's names."
Louie (2010)
"You guys are in my Lily's class."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I know. Yeah?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, Serge talks about Lily all the time. He's in stupid love with her."
Louie (2010)
"I didn't know that."
Louie (2010)
"Listen, Lily hasn't made a lot of friends in the new class..."
Louie (2010)
"You're not trying to stick your dick up me, are you?"
Louie (2010)
"No, I just--"
Louie (2010)
"You can drop him off and go do something else."
Louie (2010)
"I just-- Lily's kind of a loner. I wanna get a playdate for her, that's all."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, because nothing goes in here anymore."
Louie (2010)
"All right, well, I don't think I'll be needing any of that shit for the playdate, so...."
Louie (2010)
"Are you making a playdate?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, no. Mm-mm."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"That woman's an asshole."
Louie (2010)
"Have you met Never? That kid is a piece of shit."
Louie (2010)
"Well, he did come out of an asshole."
Louie (2010)
"Sometimes I feel like I just-- I don't have any friends."
Louie (2010)
"You-- What are you--? You think I'm fat?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm asking you if you think you're fat."
Louie (2010)
"No, you asked me if I thought I didn't have friends because I'm fat."
Louie (2010)
"Because..."
Louie (2010)
"...you think you're fat."
Louie (2010)
"Hey. Hey. Hey, girls, Serge is here."
Louie (2010)
"...but I couldn't make anything happen. So do you mind if I stay?"
Louie (2010)
"All right, honey. Shoes, take them off. No, he doesn't have to."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, please. He steps in dog poop on purpose."
Louie (2010)
"Do you have wine?"
Louie (2010)
"So when did you guys get divorced?"
Louie (2010)
"Well, we got separated about two years ago and the divorce took forever."
Louie (2010)
"Is Serge okay with nuts?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, and his mom really likes wine."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry."
Louie (2010)
"Is this okay? Yes, please."
Louie (2010)
"Okay. Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"I think...."
Louie (2010)
"Why don't you peel carrots? I got this. Okay."
Louie (2010)
"Mm. Oh, my God, this is so good."
Louie (2010)
"It's just some rice and beans."
Louie (2010)
"Mm-mm. You don't understand."
Louie (2010)
"I come home from work, I make him macaroni and cheese..."
Louie (2010)
"I wish Daddy would make macaroni and cheese."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, listen, little girl..."
Louie (2010)
"...you should be happy your daddy takes time to make nice food for you."
Louie (2010)
"You should be grateful. What does grateful mean?"
Louie (2010)
"She knows what grateful means."
Louie (2010)
"Ooh. Undercut by big sister, I like it."
Louie (2010)
"So where is, uh--?"
Louie (2010)
"Serge's dad?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, sorry. I feel like you shouldn't ask anybody about anybody just to be safe."
Louie (2010)
"Well, people are so stupid. They're like, "Where is your wife?""
Louie (2010)
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