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Clips from The Mick - The Intruder (S01E01)

"- You're saying that if we can knock Jimmy out... - Not possible."
The Mick
"You will eat every meal out of a dog bowl"
The Mick
"- for an entire month? - Yeah."
The Mick
"Not gonna sleep in the yard. We've already been over the terms."
The Mick
"- Now if you guys fail... - They will fail."
The Mick
"- every night for a month. - I'm telling you, this cannot be done."
The Mick
"- with a crowbar before. - You hit me in the head with a crowbar."
The Mick
"I hit this guy in the head with a crowbar before,"
The Mick
"It's 'cause I got the thickest skull in the league."
The Mick
"- What league? - Why don't you come find out?"
The Mick
"You see that?"
The Mick
"Stings your hand a little bit, doesn't it?"
The Mick
"Night-night. Be sure and brush your teeth. Next!"
The Mick
"- Now, let's not mess up a manicure. - Oh!"
The Mick
"And I believe in you the most, okay? Really focus."
The Mick
"Oh. Our bad."
The Mick
"That's not your fault. You're too young to get it."
The Mick
"- But he's not mad. You're not mad. Okay. - Not mad at you at all."
The Mick
"- Night-night. - Good night, Ben."
The Mick
"- Yeah. Wasn't expecting that. Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. Come on."
The Mick
"- Stung, yeah? Okay. - Oh, whatever. Just... you know."
The Mick
"Thanks for helping me put the kids to bed."
The Mick
"you know, 'cause when I was a kid, there was just..."
The Mick
"Oh, his skull isn't that thick."
The Mick
"- You did it! - I'm fine."
The Mick
"Freeze!"
The Mick
"Okay, just take it easy."
The Mick
"Now say good night."
The Mick
"- What the hell is going on? - Chip, are you okay?"
The Mick
"I saw a burglar. I didn't"
The Mick
"Uh, 2400 Radcliffe Drive. It's the corner of Tidewind and..."
The Mick
"You shot me!"
The Mick
"What the hell's the matter with you?!"
The Mick
"Uh, never mind. I was just kidding. Sorry. Guns are bad. Bye!"
The Mick
"Don't shoot!"
The Mick
"- Chip shot me! My own son shot me! - I didn't mean to!"
The Mick
"It's all right. The gunpowder's, like, a hundred years old."
The Mick
"- It probably just broke the skin. - Mommy's alive!"
The Mick
"- What the hell's going on?! - Why...?"
The Mick
"Everyone just be quiet, okay? The cops are on their way,"
The Mick
"Chip, take your brother to his room. Alba, why don't you go"
The Mick
"What about the police?"
The Mick
"I've been taught better than that."
The Mick
"Mickey? This man..."
The Mick
"- hit you. Whoa! - Aah."
The Mick
"- He did it twice. - He did, didn't he?"
The Mick
"You know what? I'll shoot him in the butt."
The Mick
"He'll think that's funny."
The Mick
"- Nice. - Okay. Sorry, Jimbo."
The Mick
"- Oh, Mick. - I know."
The Mick
"The cops are on their way,"
The Mick
"and they're expecting a gunshot victim."
The Mick
"So you shot me in the ass?!"
The Mick
"Well, what do you want?"
The Mick
"Um, I want to put a label on our relationship."
The Mick
"Oh, come on!"
The Mick
"You just shot me!"
The Mick
"- Okay, okay. - All right, fine! Okay."
The Mick
"Uh, then I want... Oh. I want a pillow."
The Mick
"Okay, you got it. I'll get you a pillow."
The Mick
"Oh, it really burns when I breathe."
The Mick
"You're lucky no one was killed."
The Mick
"Guns are very dangerous, son."
The Mick
"- Thank you. - All right."
The Mick
"- Good night. - Yeah."
The Mick
"So..."
The Mick
"- What the hell is going on? - Where the hell have you been?!"
The Mick
"Okay, okay, shh, shh!"
The Mick
"I just... I haven't seen you all in months,"
The Mick
"and I would love to just... sit down like a civilized family..."
The Mick
"- Mm-hmm. - And we'll explain everything."
The Mick
"Oh."
The Mick
"Hey, here's the thing."
The Mick
"Alba doesn't really do that anymore."
The Mick
"- Do what? - Freakin' anything!"
The Mick
"Well, it's up to you."
The Mick
"from the cellar while you're at it."
The Mick
"I drank it."
The Mick
"I didn't force her to do anything. She likes it."
The Mick
"- of that delicious...? - Uh-uh, do not"
The Mick
"I swear your father's the only man in history"
The Mick
"to gain weight on the run."
The Mick
"Speaking of the run, why don't you skip to the part"
The Mick
"where you Jason Bourne'd your way back"
The Mick
"into your own home in middle of the night?"
The Mick
"Yes, as I was saying, so we were laying low"
The Mick
"in this hotel in Montreal, which I would not recommend."
The Mick
"to find the lobby crawling with cops."
The Mick
"I've been here guarding the gates of hell."
The Mick
"- like a couple of filthy... - Criminals?"
The Mick
"No. I think that's the pot calling"
The Mick
"- the kettle black. - Oh, is it?"
The Mick
"- Mm-hmm. - Okay. Sorry. What would you call it?"
The Mick
"Uh, I don't know. Wrongfully accused?"
The Mick
"Yeah, that's right. We're innocent."
The Mick
"I knew it! I told you guys!"
The Mick
"Look, I tried to tell them,"
The Mick
"We're past that. What's more important is"
The Mick
"they're home, and they're safe."
The Mick
"So, do this mean they're home for good?"
The Mick
"Well, there's a long road ahead to clear our name, but, yes,"
The Mick
"I suppose it does."
The Mick
"at your face. You're grossing Mommy out."
The Mick
"- Here, you go, buddy. - What? That's..."
The Mick
"That's great."
The Mick
"And why is he wearing my cashmere turtleneck?"
The Mick
"Terrific parenting, Mackenzie."
The Mick
"I leave behind a sweet son,"
The Mick
"Any other fun surprises, by the way?"
The Mick
"Piercings? Tattoos?"
The Mick
"I'm sorry, you didn't exactly"
The Mick
"leave me with an instruction manual."
The Mick
"As if you would've read it."
The Mick
"At least she's been here."
The Mick
"Ugh, my God, I was here"
The Mick
"I'm sorry if I missed a few months."
The Mick
"Don't beat yourself up. They'll probably stay kids forever."
The Mick
"You know what, it has been a really long day."
The Mick
"And if you guys are all done"
The Mick
"I think I'm gonna head on up to bed, okay?"
The Mick
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