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Clips from The Detour - The Road (S01E01)
"Mm-hmm."
The Detour
"- Right. - Yeah."
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"He basically just fought people."
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"'Cause that's what goons do!"
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"There's no school for it."
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"of right versus wrong!"
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"Did you take off the condom?"
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"What do you want me to do, use my finger?"
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"You admitted it!"
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"I don't know. Maybe? I mean, this is really scary."
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"if she so desires."
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"and I gave up a hockey career for you guys."
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"Oh, is that too much truth?"
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"Ah!"
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"not a fancy restaurant kinda girl."
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"- Robin! - Vanessa!"
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"- Hey! - Hi!"
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"Hey, I'm in the middle of something."
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"I'm sorry. You know I support all choices, but..."
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"- How long did her lesbian phase last? - About a month."
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"- I'm so excited! - And now you're a lesbian!"
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"- God, what a shit show! - Mm-hmm."
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"Sí."
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"Then I now pronounce you man and wife."
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"Who the hell is Carlos?"
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"I can't believe you're not married."
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"What about us? I mean, we're bastards!"
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"And I almost went to Europe?"
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"Come on, move out of the way!"
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"Hi, Nate. Nice to meet you."
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"I'm on the lam with my angel..."
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"- No! Get out of there. - Stop being a little bitch!"
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"I'm Nate."
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"Well... yeah."
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"All right, look, I think you are smokin' hot,"
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"Well, then you need to grow a pair of balls."
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"You know what? It actually did."
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"Babe."
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"I can't believe you two are still together."
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"What's next? Is my name even Jared?"
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"- It's work. - I just wanna let you know"
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"Work is a stupid idiot."
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"Oh, my god, I feel great."
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"That's awesome!"
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"Come on, you're up."
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"but for flighty attention seekers,"
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"Well..."
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"my mom's a liar, and I'm a bastard?"
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"Oh, I'm not pretending."
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"Why would you even buy magnums?!"
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"No, not exactly."
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"- You may kiss the bride. - Oh."
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"Yeah, listen, you know,"
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"that your very important package will be in Orlando soon."
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"You suck, Ithaca! You suck! You suck!"
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"If she would have me, I would love..."
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"Yeah. But you know what, honey? It's fine. We can change it."
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"I don't really know what they do."
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"I know. And twins? That's super scary."
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"I-I do."
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"You can't marry her, dumb-ass."
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"I don't... What's..."
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"I don't know if I'm ready for this."
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"Oh, my god, you should see my CD collection."
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"with public enemy number one."
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"- Of course I work out. Check it out. - Oh, wow."
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"- I play hockey. - Oh. Sorry. Um... no."
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"Well, that's sounds workable."
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"That's 'cause I didn't give it to you."
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"Hey, what's your name again?"
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"Like, a real piece of shit."
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"He's our real dad. Keep up."
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"and I will make the decision."
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"- Well, it's not hers. - That's not mine."
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"I think I love you."
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"every woman deserves the right to choose... Europe"
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"Mmm, that's a salty finger."
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"I think you stick one on each titty."
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"- How? You've known me for two days. - Doesn't mean I can't feel it."
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"That's not... The shipping arrangement"
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"- Where we gonna do it? - Oh, let's do it on the chair!"
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"Ew! You didn't even know her name?"
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"- What's wrong with you? - Ooh!"
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"Can we talk a little more about your selective memory?"
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"Human beings can't handle the whole truth."
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"And that is why we don't tell the whole truth."
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"Because I am in the middle of a federal investigation"
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"I mean, I'm still getting used"
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"Hi. Uh, nice to meet you. Um, you're a piece of shit."
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"I think it's your turn."
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"No, I'm a Vanessa-phobe."
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"It's work."
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"Skip to post-coital, please."
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"And then you say stupid shit like that,"
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"- These two don't drink. - Yeah, that's why I only ordered two."
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"I was born this way."
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"We don't have to decide right now."
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"I know it's not a choice for actual lesbians,"
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"You wanna take this one or should I?"
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"Excuse me?"
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"they're gonna want to know that you took the flowers."
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"Our relationship is rock-solid."
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"How is this a party?"
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"Well, I remember the sex was amazing."
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"- Good job. - No, look up."
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"- I'm gay! - You're so... you're so gay!"
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"Mnh, it's not."
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"I wouldn't have recognized the story."
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"You are rock-solid."
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"What does that mean?"
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"Exactly. We finally understand."
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"- Why would you do this? - Ahh."
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"I say that to all the broke guys."
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"- Yeah, that was... up in my business. - What, are you jealous?"
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"and we talk at the café for hours."
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"Oh, my god! I'm so proud of you!"
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"Did you ever go to Europe?"
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"and then you make up stories that are better"
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"You lied to her about getting fired."
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"to poor what's-her-name."
The Detour
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