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Clips from The Detour - The Road (S01E01)

"I need in my life right now,"
The Detour
"Don't ever lie to me"
The Detour
"and don't ever, ever tell me to relax."
The Detour
"All right. Okay. I'm not a Magnum."
The Detour
"It's okay. I'm not ovulating anyway."
The Detour
"You know that's genetic, right?"
The Detour
"- You're genetic. - I know."
The Detour
"What are we gonna do?"
The Detour
"We'll, um, we'll think about it and we'll weigh the options,"
The Detour
"I don't know. I barely know you. Are you?"
The Detour
"and it really makes me not wanna do this with you!"
The Detour
"What else you wanna do?"
The Detour
"I'm really confused right now."
The Detour
"Well, I had to make a choice."
The Detour
"Whether you were gonna have a boy or a girl?"
The Detour
"Well, who was gonna be our mom and dad?"
The Detour
"Ooh."
The Detour
"I had to, uh, make a choice"
The Detour
"a-about whether or not I wanted to take a-a trip to the..."
The Detour
"- That's what you're going with? - Yeah."
The Detour
"See, there... there are a lot of women, who, um,"
The Detour
"find themselves in a position where they feel like"
The Detour
"they have to choose between being a mom and going to Europe,"
The Detour
"and... and it's a... it's a very, very serious decision"
The Detour
"and one that should never be taken lightly."
The Detour
"And make no mistake,"
The Detour
"But just know this..."
The Detour
"That was beautiful."
The Detour
"- You didn't give up a hockey career. - Yes, I did."
The Detour
"And we both made the right choice."
The Detour
"Just once. Last year of high school."
The Detour
"What?"
The Detour
"So when did you get married?"
The Detour
"'Cause you said you were a bowling alley kinda girl,"
The Detour
"- My hemorrhoids are really bad right now. - And that we are a team."
The Detour
"- Do you have cancer? - No. No. No, no, no."
The Detour
"Look, I don't want us to split."
The Detour
"Ready?"
The Detour
"What is she doing here?"
The Detour
"Oh, good. What is it?"
The Detour
"Do you remember Sharon?"
The Detour
"- I'm gay! - Shut up!"
The Detour
"- Yes! - Oh, my god! That's great!"
The Detour
"But emotionally, we just really clicked."
The Detour
"Sounds like you just made a new friend."
The Detour
"- Lame. - Tell me about it."
The Detour
"Well, at least he can't completely ruin your life."
The Detour
"You're gonna have a gay sister!"
The Detour
"I feel at soul with the rainbow."
The Detour
"I was down on my knees a few times."
The Detour
"Oh, my god. Vanessa."
The Detour
"She really is."
The Detour
"So when did you wind up proposing?"
The Detour
"- Oh, that's, uh... - Complicated."
The Detour
"Yeah."
The Detour
"And do you, Robin, take Carlos as your lawfully wedded husband?"
The Detour
"I married him so that I could help him get his green card,"
The Detour
"and he paid for my college."
The Detour
"Wait. So you guys aren't actually married?"
The Detour
"No, I couldn't find Carlos to get the annulment"
The Detour
"so we never really got around to doing it."
The Detour
"A promise that we made to each other,"
The Detour
"that we would someday get it together"
The Detour
"and actually get married... Which we will. Someday we will."
The Detour
"You guys are the shit shows!"
The Detour
"- It's not. - No."
The Detour
"Wait. So my dad's a goon,"
The Detour
"- Now? - Why not?"
The Detour
"Okay."
The Detour
"Jareb?!"
The Detour
"your dad hadn't gotten a lot of sleep"
The Detour
"when he filled out the birth registration."
The Detour
"My name's jareb?!"
The Detour
"Just on all your official documents, yes."
The Detour
"What?"
The Detour
"Just for the record, my actual name is Jareb?"
The Detour
"My choice is to keep it, because it's the truth!"
The Detour
"I can't handle any more truth!"
The Detour
"Now with that said, we have to take a tiny detour to Orlando."
The Detour
"- What? - No more questions, right?"
The Detour
"Oh, wait. You're joking, right? Why are we going to Orlando?"
The Detour
"that's rattling around in our brains."
The Detour
"Hold on. Is this the reason we didn't fly?"
The Detour
"This is the reason we're driving?"
The Detour
"Oh, babe, come on."
The Detour
"This pretending to leave thing is getting a little old."
The Detour
"- Tell me what's going on right now. - I can't."
The Detour
"Robin, come on."
The Detour
"I asked you for two things."
The Detour
"One, don't ever lie to me. Always be honest and..."
The Detour
"- Babe, relax! - Bye. Come on."
The Detour
"But I'm just saying. Dad's place could have a pool."
The Detour
"Babe, please, I'm sorry! No!"
The Detour
"Aah! Shit!"
The Detour
"Whatchu doin' there?"
The Detour
"- Do you tell your wife everything? - I do."
The Detour
"Wow."
The Detour
"And that is how we met."
The Detour
"Who... who is this?"
The Detour
"- Hello, Nathaniel. - Who is this?"
The Detour
"I don't lie."
The Detour
"Yes, we can."
The Detour
"Whoa!"
The Detour
"Oh. Mnh."
The Detour
"- What are you doing? - Shh."
The Detour
"Hey, hey, hey. Where'd you get that?"
The Detour
"- Hey. - Hi."
The Detour
"I met your loser friend at a bar,"
The Detour
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up."
The Detour
"which is pretty much every single day,"
The Detour
"- Bethanny. Is that... - Uh, Beckanny."
The Detour
"What I do remember is that she was bipolar,"
The Detour
"which led to anxiety, which led to prescriptions..."
The Detour
"Come on. Come on. I didn't get your name."
The Detour
"You know, that's really disrespectful"
The Detour
"Damn it. What was her name?"
The Detour
"You're right."
The Detour
"What is wrong with you?!"
The Detour
"That's not a line."
The Detour
"- Ah! - It's ocular. It's different."
The Detour
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