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Clips from The Detour - The Road (S01E01)

"I'm so sorry. Where were we?"
The Detour
"- He's lying to his wife. - Oh, that's bad."
The Detour
"I love my wife very much."
The Detour
"I know this may be a little forward, but..."
The Detour
"- I'm getting you! - Aah! Stop, Nate!"
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"I think I love you."
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"I do."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"We said Fort Lauderdale, 'cause that's where I'll be."
The Detour
"Gonna need a little more context on that."
The Detour
"They're, like, Richmond's fifth best conviction rock band."
The Detour
"- Okay, I'll drop a pin. Bye! - Wait."
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"Hey, put your phone down next time!"
The Detour
"All I'm saying is that sometimes maybe you forget details,"
The Detour
"than what actually happened."
The Detour
"Yes, it's called storytelling because truth-telling sucks."
The Detour
"- No, it doesn't. - Yes, it does."
The Detour
"Ow. What's wrong with you? Why are you biting me?"
The Detour
"Unclench."
The Detour
"- It hurts. - Unclench!"
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"- Ah! - What the..."
The Detour
"- Where was that? - What? You said you like to party."
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"Oh, right."
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"Your loss."
The Detour
"We used to surf together."
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"So why don't you take your board shorts and your flip-flops"
The Detour
"and your piece of shit face,"
The Detour
"Okay, lady, relax. Okay, it's not my fault."
The Detour
"and she asked me to come to a party."
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"- How is this a party? - That's what I said!"
The Detour
"That's my sister."
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"- That's not your sister. - That's my half-sister."
The Detour
"- She looks nothing like you. - Her mom's an... idiot."
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"The shit show was aunt Vanessa? And you made out with her?"
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"I didn't make out with her. She stuck her finger up my..."
The Detour
"No, whoa, whoa! What... don't tell her that."
The Detour
"she'll make out with anybody with a mouth."
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"Of course it matters. She was a close family friend."
The Detour
"- Oh, really? - Mm-hmm."
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"- What was her name? - Beth."
The Detour
"- Beth? - Becky? Becky."
The Detour
"Okay, well, whatever."
The Detour
"I hate this story."
The Detour
"Yeah. Keep going."
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"- Would you just stop for a second? - Ohh."
The Detour
"and I'd love to take you out."
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"Wow. You stole flowers from a dead person."
The Detour
"Oh, buddy."
The Detour
"Buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy,"
The Detour
"I would not do that if I were you."
The Detour
"Mind your business, bro."
The Detour
"- Yeah, but I don't want it. - I want it!"
The Detour
"- No. It's cocaine. - I know it's cocaine."
The Detour
"- I don't... - Oh, I love cocaine!"
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"- Please just take it. - What do I look like, a cokehead?"
The Detour
"I don't wanna do it. It's not my cocaine."
The Detour
"I understand,"
The Detour
"but I'm going with her. You're not, so why don't you"
The Detour
"Holy shit, that's a lot of coke."
The Detour
"Ohh. It's, like, $5,000 worth of coke."
The Detour
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"
The Detour
"I'm late for a funeral! Bye-ee!"
The Detour
"Oh, my nose is burning. Is your nose burning?"
The Detour
"I feel like someone shoved a cup of coffee up my nose."
The Detour
"Yeah, I kinda feel like I wanna work out. Do you work out?"
The Detour
"- And they have great Indian food. - Oh, I love ethnic food!"
The Detour
"- What? - Music."
The Detour
"Oh, my god. I love music! It's so good, right?"
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"- Do you read? - I can read."
The Detour
"Wait. You're not a Bruins fan, are you?"
The Detour
"- What's a Bruin? - It's a bear."
The Detour
"Hey, do you wanna see my place?"
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"- I got a really great place. - I really wanna go back to your place."
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"- Let's go to my place. - I love your place!"
The Detour
"- Let's go. - Okay."
The Detour
"No, let's do it on the bed. It's so much more comfortable."
The Detour
"Oh, if that's a line, you don't need it."
The Detour
"- Oh, just shut up and stick it in. - Okay."
The Detour
"Thank you."
The Detour
"Man, whoever wedgied mom got her good."
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"Don't let him look at that."
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"Too much?"
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"So listen, I haven't exactly been the most honest with you."
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"Okay, wait, before you continue,"
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"I just need you to know that I really hate liars."
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"My dad's pathological, and I hate my dad."
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"Continue."
The Detour
"What I meant to say is,"
The Detour
"- I-I-I really like roller coasters. - Yeah, I figured."
The Detour
"So what do you do?"
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"What I meant was, what is your job?"
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"I play hockey."
The Detour
"Okay."
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"- It's not funny. I play hockey. - Oh."
The Detour
"Uhh!"
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"I was an enforcer!"
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"You just have to have a keen sense"
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"It kind of made him who he is today."
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"It taught me to protect the ones I love!"
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"Even if it's unpopular!"
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"- Uhh! - Whoa!"
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"I could use some stability in my life."
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"Yeah, I'm not gonna be there for long. I'm going pro."
The Detour
"- Uh, hey, Nate? - Yeah?"
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"And it got way more amazing for a minute."
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"W-what? I thought you took it off."
The Detour
"I don't know. Feel little Nate?"
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"Do you see anything?"
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"There's definitely something up there."
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"Looks like a lot of liquid."
The Detour
"Well, what color is it?"
The Detour
"It's white and cream liquid."
The Detour
"You should probably try and get it out."
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"You could use your tongue."
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"Oh, I think I love you."
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"- A Magnum?! - What?"
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"You... are not... a Magnum!"
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"Hey, it worked the first six times!"
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"All right, I'm gonna ask you a favor."
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"You seem like just the boring, stable person"
The Detour
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