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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - The Taming of the Dads (S03E03)

"Looks like you boys got a package."
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"It's from cousin Hennessy in Taiwan!"
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"Whoa! It's a Tamagotchi!"
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"A Tama-what?"
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"Tamagotchi! It's a virtual pet."
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"They're the biggest toy in Japan."
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"They aren't even out in America yet."
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"Look. He wrote us a note."
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"You're going to need it.""
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"That sounds like a warning."
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"Look at it! Look how cute it is!"
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"_"
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"I don't understand."
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"How did they find me?"
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"Probably because you applied for citizenship"
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"after your green card expired."
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"_"
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"Well, I disagree."
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"that honors the American justice system."
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"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
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"Evan, can I borrow your Discman?"
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"My Discman is just for classical music"
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"It's Too $hort, Evan."
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"I can't believe you and Allison have been dating for a year."
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"Happy anniversary, Eddie!"
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"I made it, and it's not just a necklace."
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"It's a clocket."
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"Thanks, Allison."
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"Um, I got you something, too."
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"Is that a girl's butt?"
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"Yeah."
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"This is already open!"
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"I thought we said"
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"I'm sorry."
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"Let me make it up to you."
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"We always go to the mall."
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"I want to do something special."
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"It's a hip, modern remake of Shakespeare's classic"
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"Oh, Leo DiCaprio -- he's got star power."
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"- Get out of here, Dave. - Sure thing."
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"Some of you will have the good fortune of serving on our jury,"
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"welcoming you to jury duty."
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"You want a tip?"
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"When the lawyers ask you questions,"
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"just, uh, say that you watch a lot of crime shows"
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"like "L.A. Law.""
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"They'll think you're a real know-it-all"
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"According to this,"
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"the Tamagotchi will beep when it needs attention,"
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"at which point, its owner should press a button to feed it,"
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"It poops?"
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"the Tamagotchi will get sick and die."
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"We'll be the best moms since Mom."
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"Some days you're the dog."
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"Some days you're the hydrant."
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"What's wrong?"
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"Allison likes Shakespeare?"
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"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."
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"It's poetry."
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"You know what's poetry?"
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"Michael Jordan teaming up with Bugs Bunny to save the universe."
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"you should suck it up and go."
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"Seriously?"
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"Think of me as your coachman, spiriting you and your beloved"
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"Ma'am, you said that serving on this jury"
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"because I have to feed my lizards, Thelma and Louise."
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"Very well. You're dismissed."
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"Jessica Hu-wang?"
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"Huang."
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"a fair and unbiased juror?"
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"Because "L.A. Law.""
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"Is that so?"
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"Mine's Victor Sifuentes."
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"And not mention Benny."
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"Welcome to jury duty."
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"Great advice, "L.A. Law.""
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"You know, I used to hate jury duty, too."
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"Then, I accidentally spit my chewing gum on the sidewalk"
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"They caned my fanny until it was red as an apple."
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"After that, I had a whole new appreciation"
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"for the American legal system."
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"Oh, uh, they left us an information sheet."
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"According to this,"
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"we are supposed to elect a jury foreperson."
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"Oh, a foreperson takes attendance,"
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"they preside over deliberations,"
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"Jury Boss."
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"I nominate Harvey."
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"Well, I don't know you from Adam,"
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"and I like the shape of your head."
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"Aye."
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"Aw, shucks, guys. Thanks, everyone."
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"Yay! Congratulations, man."
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"Hi, boys."
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"That's Jerry. He's our Tamagotchi."
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"I see Jerry has already reached his Marutchi phase,"
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"having evolved from a Babytchi."
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"They grow up so fast, don't they?"
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"They're the only thing"
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"keeping a criminal from walking the streets,"
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"and they spend 25 minutes trying to figure out"
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"how to open up a window."
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"I can't believe I wasn't picked for Jury Boss."
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"Hark!"
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"I can't believe I have to sit through a whole movie of that."
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"Well, knock it all you want, Eddie,"
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"but the ladies love Shakespeare."
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"Just ask your mother."
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"Your chariot awaits, my liege."
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"- Huh? - Let's go."
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"Geese honk."
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"Gentlemen go to the door."
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"Hi there, Eddie."
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"Hi. I'm Louis."
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"I just wanted to introduce myself"
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"Really?"
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"I hear that's a hip, modern remake"
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"Are you a Shakespeare fan, Gary?"
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"Been a Bardhead since college."
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"Really? No. I'd hate to impose."
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