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Clips from BoJack Horseman - One Trick Pony (S01E01)

We're very different, but I think that we bring out

"We're very different, but I think that we bring out"

BoJack Horseman

Shut up and kiss me, you silly goof.

"Shut up and kiss me, you silly goof."

BoJack Horseman

Cut!

"Cut!"

BoJack Horseman

I'm A Ryan Seacrest Type, and I'm visiting the set

"I'm A Ryan Seacrest Type, and I'm visiting the set"

BoJack Horseman

I'm thrilled to be talking to the star of the film,

"I'm thrilled to be talking to the star of the film,"

BoJack Horseman

- Wait a minute. Yes, I am. - Ugh.

"- Wait a minute. Yes, I am. - Ugh."

BoJack Horseman

- Yes, your daring exploit. - Yes.

"- Yes, your daring exploit. - Yes."

BoJack Horseman

And it's an even sweeter treat to be played by my good amigo...

"And it's an even sweeter treat to be played by my good amigo..."

BoJack Horseman

In fact, I thought you were dead.

"In fact, I thought you were dead."

BoJack Horseman

I stole the D,

"I stole the D,"

BoJack Horseman

and then he stole my stealing of it.

"and then he stole my stealing of it."

BoJack Horseman

than a thief thief, which is what I am

"than a thief thief, which is what I am"

BoJack Horseman

This movie is a huge opportunity.

"This movie is a huge opportunity."

BoJack Horseman

But isn't there any other part?

"But isn't there any other part?"

BoJack Horseman

- Why Wallace Shawn? - BoJack Horseman?

"- Why Wallace Shawn? - BoJack Horseman?"

BoJack Horseman

Would you tell an alcoholic to stop buying alcohol?

"Would you tell an alcoholic to stop buying alcohol?"

BoJack Horseman

You know, Black and Blue Number 7's

"You know, Black and Blue Number 7's"

BoJack Horseman

Fine. I'll do the dumb movie.

"Fine. I'll do the dumb movie."

BoJack Horseman

But if you find me in a bathtub with open wrists tomorrow

"But if you find me in a bathtub with open wrists tomorrow"

BoJack Horseman

So obviously I'm thrilled to be here, just thrilled.

"So obviously I'm thrilled to be here, just thrilled."

BoJack Horseman

I know you're just doing your job,

"I know you're just doing your job,"

BoJack Horseman

but I live here, and the crew has been here since 3:00 a.m.,

"but I live here, and the crew has been here since 3:00 a.m.,"

BoJack Horseman

Haven't really seen you since the wedding.

"Haven't really seen you since the wedding."

BoJack Horseman

Kind of feels like we're coming back to school

"Kind of feels like we're coming back to school"

BoJack Horseman

Yeah, well, I hope the cheerleaders don't stuff me

"Yeah, well, I hope the cheerleaders don't stuff me"

BoJack Horseman

A hooker, yes, but what she really wants to do

"A hooker, yes, but what she really wants to do"

BoJack Horseman

is wait tables.

"is wait tables."

BoJack Horseman

Well, I, for one, would love to meet

"Well, I, for one, would love to meet"

BoJack Horseman

What? Why would I want to settle down?

"What? Why would I want to settle down?"

BoJack Horseman

but I can't throw up because I haven't had anything to eat

"but I can't throw up because I haven't had anything to eat"

BoJack Horseman

Having said that, what do I know about books?

"Having said that, what do I know about books?"

BoJack Horseman

That's kind of the reason I got into this business.

"That's kind of the reason I got into this business."

BoJack Horseman

Now, is it true you stay in character between takes?

"Now, is it true you stay in character between takes?"

BoJack Horseman

He even has everyone calling me Diane

"He even has everyone calling me Diane"

BoJack Horseman

No, I'm looking for peanut butter.

"No, I'm looking for peanut butter."

BoJack Horseman

Todd, spritz me.

"Todd, spritz me."

BoJack Horseman

- Spritzing. - Mm, mm, mm.

"- Spritzing. - Mm, mm, mm."

BoJack Horseman

Have you ever been on a movie set before?

"Have you ever been on a movie set before?"

BoJack Horseman

- Uh... - And it's also my name!

"- Uh... - And it's also my name!"

BoJack Horseman

I'll be back in a jiff, skippy.

"I'll be back in a jiff, skippy."

BoJack Horseman

and produce you just for one second here.

"and produce you just for one second here."

BoJack Horseman

Problems, problems, problems, ah, here we go.

"Problems, problems, problems, ah, here we go."

BoJack Horseman

is wearing a crew neck T-shirt.

"is wearing a crew neck T-shirt."

BoJack Horseman

the story, we should tell it how it really happened.

"the story, we should tell it how it really happened."

BoJack Horseman

because of the shirts.

"because of the shirts."

BoJack Horseman

Because I'm the one who stole the D.

"Because I'm the one who stole the D."

BoJack Horseman

I should write a book.

"I should write a book."

BoJack Horseman

Hey, you're in a mood.

"Hey, you're in a mood."

BoJack Horseman

I'm just trying to get inside my character, which is you.

"I'm just trying to get inside my character, which is you."

BoJack Horseman

We're so weird.

"We're so weird."

BoJack Horseman

When I was little, I dreamed of getting

"When I was little, I dreamed of getting"

BoJack Horseman

a MacArthur grant for my 'zine about how all the girls

"a MacArthur grant for my 'zine about how all the girls"

BoJack Horseman

We're such a Zoe.

"We're such a Zoe."

BoJack Horseman

Hold this.

"Hold this."

BoJack Horseman

all on my own, didn't I?

"all on my own, didn't I?"

BoJack Horseman

Uh...

"Uh..."

BoJack Horseman

You said it.

"You said it."

BoJack Horseman

Oh, craft services is in the kitchen.

"Oh, craft services is in the kitchen."

BoJack Horseman

Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.

"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

BoJack Horseman

Okay, fellas, here's the thing about the story.

"Okay, fellas, here's the thing about the story."

BoJack Horseman

Um, maybe once we add the music...

"Um, maybe once we add the music..."

BoJack Horseman

The music? Are you kidding me?

"The music? Are you kidding me?"

BoJack Horseman

What dumb shit brought this dumb shit?

"What dumb shit brought this dumb shit?"

BoJack Horseman

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

"Oh, oh, oh, oh!"

BoJack Horseman

Hey, maybe it make it more Diane-y?

"Hey, maybe it make it more Diane-y?"

BoJack Horseman

He's new. He doesn't know the rules.

"He's new. He doesn't know the rules."

BoJack Horseman

Yes. Yeah.

"Yes. Yeah."

BoJack Horseman

I love you.

"I love you."

BoJack Horseman

Hey, Todd, talk to him about the wardrobe,

"Hey, Todd, talk to him about the wardrobe,"

BoJack Horseman

Ugh. What now?

"Ugh. What now?"

BoJack Horseman

I'm sick of this dog and pony show.

"I'm sick of this dog and pony show."

BoJack Horseman

and there's too much honeydew in the fruit bowl.

"and there's too much honeydew in the fruit bowl."

BoJack Horseman

the real BoJack Horseman.

"the real BoJack Horseman."

BoJack Horseman

Oh, are you coming out with a book?

"Oh, are you coming out with a book?"

BoJack Horseman

You never mentioned it.

"You never mentioned it."

BoJack Horseman

Jesus Christ, BoJack.

"Jesus Christ, BoJack."

BoJack Horseman

to sabotage me back.

"to sabotage me back."

BoJack Horseman

these days revolve around plotting sabotages?

"these days revolve around plotting sabotages?"

BoJack Horseman

decided I should be three-dimensional

"decided I should be three-dimensional"

BoJack Horseman

and you should have no lines.

"and you should have no lines."

BoJack Horseman

three-dimensional roles for women?

"three-dimensional roles for women?"

BoJack Horseman

This happens to me all the time!

"This happens to me all the time!"

BoJack Horseman

This is the movie that I wanted to make.

"This is the movie that I wanted to make."

BoJack Horseman

puts food on top of a hill?

"puts food on top of a hill?"

BoJack Horseman

So let's talk and talk and talk until I am you

"So let's talk and talk and talk until I am you"

BoJack Horseman

But, you know, the person you should really be talking to

"But, you know, the person you should really be talking to"

BoJack Horseman

Oh, I get it, because Diane doesn't talk to Diane.

"Oh, I get it, because Diane doesn't talk to Diane."

BoJack Horseman

- We've had some good times. - Oh. Hi.

"- We've had some good times. - Oh. Hi."

BoJack Horseman

in the fridge, and I don't think that I want it anymore.

"in the fridge, and I don't think that I want it anymore."

BoJack Horseman

Not now, Mr. Peanutbutter.

"Not now, Mr. Peanutbutter."

BoJack Horseman

And also, now that I'm thinking about it,

"And also, now that I'm thinking about it,"

BoJack Horseman

Not right, and I would love to go through all the reasons why,

"Not right, and I would love to go through all the reasons why,"

BoJack Horseman

Look, I agree that this movie has really lost its way.

"Look, I agree that this movie has really lost its way."

BoJack Horseman

Can you do that with a crew neck?

"Can you do that with a crew neck?"

BoJack Horseman

Thanks so much for running this scene with me.

"Thanks so much for running this scene with me."

BoJack Horseman

But I'm more concerned with getting my self-esteem back

"But I'm more concerned with getting my self-esteem back"

BoJack Horseman

Well, I don't want to overuse my catchphrase here,

"Well, I don't want to overuse my catchphrase here,"

BoJack Horseman

You probably wouldn't understand.

"You probably wouldn't understand."

BoJack Horseman

Oh. Okay. Mwah.

"Oh. Okay. Mwah."

BoJack Horseman

This is good, baby.

"This is good, baby."

BoJack Horseman

Naomi, I haven't felt like this since...

"Naomi, I haven't felt like this since..."

BoJack Horseman

Hey, guys.

"Hey, guys."

BoJack Horseman

Wow, wow.

"Wow, wow."

BoJack Horseman

because if I know me, this book is gonna give me

"because if I know me, this book is gonna give me"

BoJack Horseman

Unless this is that loan shark,

"Unless this is that loan shark,"

BoJack Horseman

Let me read the book. Give me, give me, give me.

"Let me read the book. Give me, give me, give me."

BoJack Horseman

Okay, okay, now, I should warn you,

"Okay, okay, now, I should warn you,"

BoJack Horseman

I'll read it right now.

"I'll read it right now."

BoJack Horseman

BoJack, this is you.

"BoJack, this is you."

BoJack Horseman

One Trick Pony?

"One Trick Pony?"

BoJack Horseman

of his lavish house in the Hills,

"of his lavish house in the Hills,"

BoJack Horseman

his many personal failings but unwilling or unable

"his many personal failings but unwilling or unable"

BoJack Horseman

Got out of the car, stepped out toward the coast,

"Got out of the car, stepped out toward the coast,"

BoJack Horseman

and looked across the water,

"and looked across the water,"

BoJack Horseman

and for a moment, he said nothing."

"and for a moment, he said nothing.""

BoJack Horseman

What the shit was that?

"What the shit was that?"

BoJack Horseman

to fully capture you, warts and all...

"to fully capture you, warts and all..."

BoJack Horseman

Is this book how you see me?

"Is this book how you see me?"

BoJack Horseman

This will actually do wonders for your career.

"This will actually do wonders for your career."

BoJack Horseman

I mean, you're just a dumb actor

"I mean, you're just a dumb actor"

BoJack Horseman

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