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Clips from The Office - Product Recall (S03E03)

"(DOOR OPENING)"
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"Fact, bears eat beets. Oh..."
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"Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica."
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"Bears do not..."
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"Millions of families suffer every year!"
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"Yes, I'm upset. Don't I sound upset?"
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"We have a crisis."
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"decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark"
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"MICHAEL: Five-hundred boxes has gone out"
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"with the image of a beloved cartoon duck"
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"I've never been a fan."
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""Cri-man squa"?"
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"(MICHAEL EXCLAIMING)"
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"at the paper mill."
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"We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at threat level midnight."
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"B- A-N-A..."
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"I'm just preparing."
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"We need somebody who's actually made a sale."
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"We're having a press conference? No, Pam."
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"Here's the thing, when a company screws up,"
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"Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you."
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"I have invited Barbara Allen, one of our oldest clients,"
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"Battle stations, everybody! Let's go! Go! Go, go, go, go, go!"
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"and I'm trying to remember who it was."
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"Debbie Brown. And which day was that?"
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"Wednesday the 1 1th. Perfect."
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"From now on, you guys are no longer losers."
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""Customer service, this is Kelly." Except don't say, "Kelly.""
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"Say your own name."
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"Or if you're bored, you could just make up a name."
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"Like, one time, I said I was Bridget Jones"
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"Alligators. Dingo babies."
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"What's that?"
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"Who? Karen? Yeah. She's only one of my oldest friends."
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"Nice."
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"Lord, beer me strength."
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"(EXCLAIMS)"
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"Why is my girlfriend here?"
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"I wonder if she's like a guidance counselor or something."
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"No. I don't think so."
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"Okay, press conference in 45. Dwight, make sure this place looks nice."
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"On it."
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"And obits."
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"Okay. Here are your credentials."
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"Don't get too excited. That's out of 20. Right this way."
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"in the pressroom shortly."
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"Oh."
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"Jamie! Andy... Oh..."
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"What are you doing here? Andy?"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"This is weird. I got to go to Spanish."
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"Except knock over a mailbox with her friends."
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"...and I'm sorry. Yes."
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"No, I am so sorry."
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"Well, I don't see how that's our fault."
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"so I don't know what you want from me."
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"When I went over Wednesday for the spot-check,"
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"Emergency dentist appointment?"
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"I'm a trusting guy,"
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"Mrs. Allen is our most important client."
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"Because every client is our most important client."
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"And so, with the eyes of the nation upon us,"
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"I would like to present you with this novelty check"
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"You look good in this."
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"I know."
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"But who was that guy?"
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"And you should."
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"He's upset about the watermark."
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"Okay, great. Now, just tell him that it was an unfortunate error"
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"And you already got your money back."
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"I think he had Tourette's or something!"
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"Because it already happened to me."
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"Cartoon characters having sex?"
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"What can I do for you?"
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"DWIGHT: It's non-transferable. Doesn't matter. Out please!"
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"Did you get all that?"
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"But it's not going to take"
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"Do you know what this is for?"
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"Hello, I am Michael Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton."
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"It will take a SWAT team to remove me from this office and maybe not even then."
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"DWIGHT: I'm just saying... I know."
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"...literally, Dwight?"
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"I'm going to have to cut this all out."
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"MICHAEL: Can you say cut..."
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"Cut. I'm asking Pam to do it, please."
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"Oh, yes! Facial. Yes."
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"I expect you to apologize for that, Angela."
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"is going to have the F-word on it."
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"That was your best apology video ever."
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"I got a farewell card for Debbie Brown."
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"(CONTINUES SCATTING)"
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"and have sexual intercourse 'cause you're my girlfriend?"
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"Do you? No."
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"Question, what kind of bear is best?"
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"That's a ridiculous question. False. Black bear."
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"Well, that's debatable."
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"There are basically two schools of thought."
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"What is going on? What are you doing?"
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"Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses."
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"Four dollars."
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"And it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble"
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"and that's a grand total of"
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"$11"
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"You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery."
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"So I thank you."
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"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!"
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"Michael!"
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"Oh, that's funny. Michael!"
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"Yes, I understand."
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"Can I transfer you to customer relations?"
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"I know, I know. We're all trying to get to the bottom of it."
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"It is disgusting. I totally agree."
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"Apparently, a disgruntled employee at the paper mill"
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"on our 24-pound cream letter stock."
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"performing unspeakable acts"
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"upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like."
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"Everybody in here, stat."
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"No time to lose."
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"Front and center. Twice as fast as you would normally go."
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"Any other questions?"
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