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Clips from Seinfeld - The Nose Job (S03E03)

"No, no. There's nothing wrong with her nose."
Seinfeld
"- God, I'm so sorry, Audrey. - Oh, it's okay."
Seinfeld
"- What did you have to say that for? - I was just trying to help out."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, you can kiss that jacket goodbye, Mr. Von Nausen."
Seinfeld
"But what would the world be like..."
Seinfeld
"...all the time, whenever it came to them?"
Seinfeld
"How long would a blind date last?"
Seinfeld
"About 13 seconds, I think."
Seinfeld
"Sorry, your rear end is too big. Okay, your breath stinks."
Seinfeld
"See you later. No problem. Goodbye. Okay, thank you very much."
Seinfeld
"Elaine said I can stay with her another month till Tina gets back."
Seinfeld
"What are you thinking about?"
Seinfeld
"Thinking? Nothing."
Seinfeld
"What could I possibly be thinking?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, right. I wish I had something on my mind."
Seinfeld
"So how about that Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, how about him?"
Seinfeld
"- The way he just says stuff. - He sure does."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he's quite a character."
Seinfeld
"So, what did you think?"
Seinfeld
"About the pizza?"
Seinfeld
"No. About the nose job."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the nose job. Yeah..."
Seinfeld
"I don't know. I-"
Seinfeld
"- Well, what did you think? - Well, I've thought about it..."
Seinfeld
"- ...but I don't know. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"You know, not that I care one way or the other..."
Seinfeld
"...but these doctors today do amazing things. If you were so inclined."
Seinfeld
"- And again, I'm not suggesting. - I know. They're good."
Seinfeld
"Peter Jennings had one."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Probably. They all do."
Seinfeld
"In my high school, half my graduating class had them."
Seinfeld
"Of course, I'm from Long Island, so..."
Seinfeld
"It's really nothing. It's like going to the dentist."
Seinfeld
"So you really think I should do this."
Seinfeld
"If it makes you happy. I don't focus on these things."
Seinfeld
"I will tell you this, though."
Seinfeld
"Unfortunately..."
Seinfeld
"...we live in a very superficial society."
Seinfeld
"I don't condone it..."
Seinfeld
"...but it's a fact of life."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe I should."
Seinfeld
"- What the hell? - Now you talked her into a nose job?"
Seinfeld
"- Me? I didn't say anything. - You encouraged her to get one."
Seinfeld
"- I didn't encourage. No encourage. - Peter Jennings had one?"
Seinfeld
"- You should accept her for who she is. - No, George is right."
Seinfeld
"- I wanna get one. - I think it's a mistake."
Seinfeld
"Me too. Really."
Seinfeld
"Unless you'd really like one, then..."
Seinfeld
"No two ways about it."
Seinfeld
"It might not be hell, but you're gonna run into bad dudes."
Seinfeld
"Get the check. She takes the bandages off at 4:00."
Seinfeld
"We have time."
Seinfeld
"It's exciting. She's gonna have a new face."
Seinfeld
"She is the most despicable woman I have ever met in my life."
Seinfeld
"I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally..."
Seinfeld
"...and so attracted to them physically at the same time."
Seinfeld
"It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game."
Seinfeld
"And I'm letting him win."
Seinfeld
"You're not letting him win. He wins till you're 40."
Seinfeld
"She wants to be an actress."
Seinfeld
"She makes me read these moronic acting scenes with her, and I do it."
Seinfeld
"Because I'm so addicted to the sex, I'm helpless. I'll do anything."
Seinfeld
"I don't want to see this woman anymore..."
Seinfeld
"...but I haven't got the willpower to throw out her number."
Seinfeld
"Help me."
Seinfeld
"I'm proud of you."
Seinfeld
"Good for you."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you, the sex..."
Seinfeld
"I was like an animal."
Seinfeld
"I mean, it was just completely uninhibited."
Seinfeld
"It's like going to the bathroom in front of a lot of people, and not caring."
Seinfeld
"It's not like that at all."
Seinfeld
"Well, I don't. I'm guessing."
Seinfeld
"Okay, look, Audrey, before you take the bandage off..."
Seinfeld
"Now that you're gonna be a great beauty, let's not forget how this began."
Seinfeld
"- If you listened to your friend Elaine- - George."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - Enough."
Seinfeld
"- Right, enough. - Are we ready?"
Seinfeld
"Come on, let's get this show on the road."
Seinfeld
"- You sure you want us here for this? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- Shouldn't a doctor do it? - No, he said I could do it."
Seinfeld
"Okay, here goes."
Seinfeld
"This is very exciting. Very exciting. It's like watching a birth."
Seinfeld
"It looks good."
Seinfeld
"- Great job. - You got butchered."
Seinfeld
"- Where are you going? - To that doctor."
Seinfeld
"Wait, wait, wait! I'll go with you."
Seinfeld
"How you feeling?"
Seinfeld
"Too much salt in my diet."
Seinfeld
"- Can I get you anything? - I'm good."
Seinfeld
"You sure? Anything."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"Boy, it really didn't come out too well, did it?"
Seinfeld
"No, it didn't. No, it didn't."
Seinfeld
"Seems to be."
Seinfeld
"You can't stop modern science. Can't stop it. Can't stop science."
Seinfeld
"Can't be stopped. No way, no how. Science just marches-"
Seinfeld
"Shut up, George."
Seinfeld
"- Shut up? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Interesting."
Seinfeld
"Come on, Kramer. Seriously, give me her number!"
Seinfeld
"- Give it to me. - You said not to."
Seinfeld
"You said no matter what, I'm not to give it to you."
Seinfeld
"- I want the number! - All right! You want it? Yeah!"
Seinfeld
"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah. Yeah, look at you."
Seinfeld
"Look at what you've sunk to."
Seinfeld
"Look at what you've become."
Seinfeld
"Look in the mirror, because you need help, Jerry. You need help."
Seinfeld
"Because I can't stand by and do it anymore. It's turning my stomach."
Seinfeld
"I can't stand around here watching you destroy yourself!"
Seinfeld
"It's eating me up inside!"
Seinfeld
"The doctor said they need to build the lateral wall of the septum. Over here."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You see this paranasal sinus cavity? - Oh, I got it."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Rough, rough."
Seinfeld
"So anyway, you know what I was thinking about?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"Remember we talked about taking a trip together?"
Seinfeld
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