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Clips from Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021) - Fixed (S01E01)

"Oh, Kev, you're in a position every politician dreams of --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"This thing is yours!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Kev, don't you think this whole thing is, like, kinda lame?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I think it's classy and important,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"like country clubs or Jessica Rabbit."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh. Hey, Allison."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I'm happy to se you."
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"Has everything about you changed?"
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"Hey, that hottie Detective Tammy Ridgeway"
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"just called and said that the guy that broke in here"
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"was some sorta drug dealer,"
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"a real scourge of our time."
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"She told you that for sure? Yep."
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"And I got him off the streets."
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"The campaign is off to a rockin' start!"
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"-You're really running? -Of course."
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"It's my life's dream."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Okay, it's just that you usually, you know,"
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"forget about your life's dream before lunch."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Give me one example."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Uh, well, three days ago,"
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"your life's dream was to become a father."
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"Oh, what a hard week for you."
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"It's just that I figured out that my higher purpose is..."
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"fathering the entire community."
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"And it all begins tonight at my first campaign event"
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"at the classy and important Moose Lodge."
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"You say "classy" a lot."
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"Uh, Kev, bad news."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh, no."
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"Hey, listen, when you get elected,"
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"we revoke their liquor license as payback."
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"I-I don't know, Kev."
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"I think you should probably just throw in the towel."
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"You know, finding a venue, revoking stuff."
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"It's -- It's -- It's just a lot of verbs for you."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That is true."
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"and play ultimate hide and seek."
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"No. I know how to handle a little adversity, okay?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"And He always does."
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"Like that gun He put in your back yard."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hi?"
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"Can I, uh, come in?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Inside here?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"No, Kevin is home. This is not a good time."
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"It's not like that. I promise."
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"He could have opened the door and it'd be fine."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Thanks."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I, uh..."
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"I like your coffee table."
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"It's very MoMa."
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"Sam, what are you doing here?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah. Right. Sorry. I was sort of ramping up"
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"to the apology, and, um..."
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"sorry."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You were trying to do the right thing the other day,"
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"to work on your marriage,"
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"and I-I can't stand the fact"
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"that we left things like that, and --"
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"and then I heard about that guy,"
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"the one who broke in here, and..."
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"I'm so sorry."
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"I had to come by and see how you were both doing"
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"after everything,"
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"and if you need anything, don't --"
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"-We cannot do that here. -I know."
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"But I wanted to."
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"So do I, but that's no reason to risk blowing up your life."
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"I mean..."
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"isn't it?"
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"Do you mean that?"
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"Yeah."
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"Yeah, I think I do."
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"I left Jenn."
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"I can't stay in that house anymore."
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"I couldn't."
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"And, uh, if you're feeling that same way, too,"
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"then maybe this is our chance, you know,"
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"to really be together."
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"Oh, hey, Allison."
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"You're proving my point."
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"What kinda winner has ever worked at a restaurant?"
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"Oh."
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"Hey, there, Allison's boss from the diner."
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"I'm a winner, Sal."
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"Sam. Even better."
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"for real change in this neighborhood?"
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"Uh... And I'm talking about the good kind of change,"
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"the kind that gets things back to the way they used to be."
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"I actually like --"
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"Thanks. Uh, well, I should get going."
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"Um, I just came by to tell Allison"
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"she could take some time off if she needs it."
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"It's a little slow right now, anyways."
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"Ugh! Wait!"
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"Stroke! What?"
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"No, it's not what you think."
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"Devoid of customers."
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"Okay. Well, I never say that."
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"It's perfect!"
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"Your diner is the perfect spot to be my venue!"
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"It's so empty! Okay."
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"you'll have a solid stream of hearty, hungry customers."
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"Oh, my God."
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"We'll call it a "meat and greet"!"
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"No, like a meat and greet."
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"Right, but maybe Sam doesn't --No, no, no."
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"Meat, like salami."
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"Ah! Sam, it's perfect!"
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"Uh...sure."
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"I could always use the business."
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"Yeah, baby!"
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"Damn it!"
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"I always wonder what sucker buys the product in a salon?"
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"Not many, I guess."
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"It's been a little slow."
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"Did you even have any appointments today?"
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"I mean, we could've gone bowling or something."
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"I was hoping for some walk-ins."
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"When did business start dying down?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
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