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Clips from Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021) - Fixed (S01E01)

"Okay."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"She's the only person that I have,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"and you used it."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"but we've done them for each other."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You know, at this point,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I couldn't even tell you who's done what."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"-No, stop! -Give me my phone."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hey, that's not yours! Give it to me!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"What the fuck?!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You're not gonna tell Kevin anything."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Previously on "Kevin Can F... Himself"..."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Make it look like a robbery,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You can't fire me. They'll throw me in prison."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Change of plans. We're leaving tonight."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Damn it!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Arrest me."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hey."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Thank you for your time, Mrs. McRoberts."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hey, you. Hi."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Officer Ridgeway."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Right."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Listen, I can't imagine how hard all this has been for you."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"-Yeah. -But you may not want"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"to go visit your mother, or go out of town at all."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Uh, like what?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"We don't take shootings lightly, and your husband --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"-What about me? -I was just saying"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"you were involved in a terrible ordeal,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"one we're gonna get to the bottom of."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I feel like I'm in some sort of awful dream."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"But I don't want you to worry."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"We know you did what you had to do to protect your family."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I just -- I don't understand"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"why someone would break into our home."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Everyone thinks they're special, that this can't happen to them."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"No, no."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Our home is crappy. It's a dumb move."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Around here, random break-ins are usually drug-related."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"They're looking for anything they can pawn for a few bucks."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"So, is that what you think this is?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"S-Stealing for drug money?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"We'll know more once the warrant goes through"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"and we get into his place."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"When will that be?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Likely tomorrow afternoon."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"And that lowlife won't be around to let us in himself."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"They pulled the plug on him a few minutes ago."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Drugs really are the scourge of our time."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I'd argue heart disease."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Just numbers-wise."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Babe, this is not some sort of smushed artery, alright?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Some drugged-up dude was in our house."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"We could've --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I know. I know, babe."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Kev, I've been a cop 22 years now, and let me tell you,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"not very many families come out of this stuff unscathed."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You're one of the lucky ones."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Heh. Yeah."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Lucky. Come on."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Buddy!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Alright! I'm alright."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"No, you're not."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Your airway's being constricted by 230 pounds of idiot."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I get a little emotional when I think about losing you, Kev."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah. Well, I don't like thinking about it, either."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That's why you don't."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You got to push all those thoughts and feelings"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"way down into your stomach"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"until it creates, like, a little hole"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"where you can keep all that stuff."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"A cookie pocket."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"No."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It's a cookie pocket."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You eat cookies, and you feel better."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Psh. Thinks she's a nurse now,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"telling us what a cookie pocket is. Heh."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I just can't believe that someone was in here."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I know. And the dude was on my hockey team in high school."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I don't know, bro."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Did you hear that one, son?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I said, "That's called marriage.""
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah, it's, uh --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It's just not doing it for me."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Whoa. This is serious."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I know. I know."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That was a hilarious joke,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"and yet it's like my laugh button's on the fritz."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"God. What is wrong with me?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"No, y-you're being too hard on yourself, son."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"-Look, this all just happened. -Yeah."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Good Catholic repression takes time."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"And sleep."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You know what? That's it."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You need a good snooze to fix you up."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah. Yeah."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"-Maybe that'll do it. -Sure."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You want me to make you a nice, comfy fort to nap in?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"-No thanks, bro. -Oh, come on."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Makes you feel like a caveman all tuckered"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"from a long day of hunting dinosaurs."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I said no!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I just wanted to help."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That forts are dumb?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah. Forts are dumb."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Okay, what the hell --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It was Nick. -What?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"He wasn't supposed to come for another week."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh, trust me, I know. But why listen to instruction"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"when it's more fun to come on a night when Kevin's"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"amped on Red Bull and has a gun?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I know. Who would give Kevin a gun?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh. We did."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You know the gun you hit the trucker with?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"The one we planted in the backyard?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"He found it."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"How?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
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