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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Never Wait for Seconds! (S09E09)

"That was, uh, terrible. You had already waited."
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"What was the point of going back again?"
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"You would've lost your appetite."
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"I know everything about you."
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"I was sitting there having my brunch,"
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"and I saw you."
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"And I was thinking, as a devout Muslim,"
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"Fatwa."
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"No. No, I don't. I don't!"
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"I think I need to bring to their attention"
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"that you are not the man they think you are."
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"Anything you want to know, I'll give you full access."
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"I'm an open book."
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"You will be hearing from me."
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"What-- what is your name?"
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"- Hey! - Oh, hey. Um..."
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"( chuckles ) What guy?"
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"Oh."
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"( chuckles ) Let's go."
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"Huh."
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"Larry: That was a lot of fun."
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"That horse, he was so close!"
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"- He should've won! - I know, I know, I know."
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"It's been incredibly fun."
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"And I can't believe"
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"you made that appointment at-- at Pemberton."
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"I'm so grateful."
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"Do-- do you wanna come in?"
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"Are you saying that, uh..."
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"gratitude sex is in the offing?"
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"If you're okay with gratitude sex, I mean--"
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"You know what, I've never had gratitude sex,"
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"mainly because I've never done anything that someone could be grateful for."
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"- ( laughs ) - But people tell me that gratitude sex is the ultimate."
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"It's hard to explain. I'd rather just show you."
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"- Sure, yeah. - You know?"
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"She did."
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"Go to your room, okay? ( sighs )"
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"I'll hang out in my room, but I'm not going to bed."
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"I've never seen an old man in sneakers before."
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"- Okay, that's-- go to your room. - ( sarcastic laugh )"
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"That's so stupid."
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"- Ah, the spectrum. - ( door closes )"
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"He's on the spectrum. Yeah."
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"He won't listen to me, but..."
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"The offer still stands."
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"( guitar strumming continues )"
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"All right, you little prick, okay?"
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"You got it?"
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"Now get under those covers."
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"You're gonna go to sleep,"
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"You're looking at a man with an "A" on his shirt..."
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"for "apology.""
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"- Is that so? - Yes."
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"I'm sorry for the other day."
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"There was nothing I could do."
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"( scoffs ) Quite an expensive bottle of champagne"
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"I wound up paying for."
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"We ordered the champagne"
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"because you wanted to live it up."
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"You said, "Let's live it up." I would never live it up."
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"Okay, maybe I said, "Let's live it up.""
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"- You did. - I wanted to have a good time, that's all!"
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"So anyway, so you're here to what?"
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"For leaving me with the bill?"
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"No, I'm sorry for leaving early."
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"That's what I'm sorry about."
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"but I think the proper apology would be to say, "I'm sorry."
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"Here's $250 for the champagne.""
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"My apology is from the heart."
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"That's something that means something."
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"Because I felt bad!"
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"If you feel bad, you offer the money!"
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"- No, you don't! - You don't understand feeling bad!"
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"Feeling bad is feeling in the heart, not in the wallet!"
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"- No, feeling bad is making it up! - It is not!"
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"Well, to come here and apologize without taking your wallet out"
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"and offering, who knows if I would even accept it?"
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"- Okay. Yeah. - Okay?"
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"I gotta take a quick piss."
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"- Mr. Larry. - Ah, Cesar."
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"Ah, well, you're very welcome."
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"so I-- I couldn't come."
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"I'm, uh-- well, I'm sorry to hear that. Too bad."
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"But, uh, you-- you're a member of a nice country club, sí?"
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"- Yeah? - Can I bring my family there for a nice little swim?"
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"No. No, you can't-- you can't bring your family there, no!"
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"- But-- but why not? - It's not the way it works. No!"
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"I don't understand your lack of generosity."
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"Lack of generosity? What are you talking about?"
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"I gave you a tip, which you turned down."
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"I did not take it, so you owe me a favor."
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"I already repaid you a favor that I didn't even owe you!"
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"The whole point of the tip is for you to be indebted to me."
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"Now you've-- you've reversed it!"
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"Now I'm indebted to you."
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"I promised Little Cesar."
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"All right. This is the last one."
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"Okay? This is it."
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"And next time I give you a tip, you take it, okay?"
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"You can't swim there. They're racist."
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"They're not gonna let you in there."
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"Why are you a member of a racist club?"
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"They're all racists. That's the way they operate."
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"Oh, I would, but the heater in my house"
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"got all screwed up and nothing's working now, and the pool's not working."
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"I bet you have friends with nice pools."
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"Can Cesar and his family use your pool?"
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"- Who's Cesar? - Yo."
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"Nice to meet you, sir."
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"Can he use my pool?"
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"It's hot out, they have no place to swim, and..."
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"At this time of year,"
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"we might have family coming over."
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"- You know, I never know-- - I'll tell you what."
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"We call it even, the $250."
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"- So you're never gonna mention it again? - Never again."
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"- When do you want to come over? - On Saturday."
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"- Hey, do me a favor. - Yes, sir."
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"No diving, and try to stay in the shallow end, okay?"
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