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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Never Wait for Seconds! (S09E09)

"And according to Jewish law,"
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"so I asked him to jump."
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"Big time."
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"these heavy shoes that I wear because my feet get cramped."
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"And they make noise."
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"I offer him a soda."
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"Thank you."
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"No, thank you."
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"( chatter )"
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"It's made a lot of money for the school."
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"So happy to do it."
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"I actually would prefer to sit over there, but, you know."
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"Actually, more like a foster child"
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"That's how I feel now."
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"Bridget is Eddie's mother, and she's your girlfriend?"
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"You know, they're kind of tough."
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"You get involved with somebody, and all of a sudden,"
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"She comes back to me, she says, "Your friends said you had a great time.""
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"Well, where-- where do you see the relationship going?"
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"I see it going, hopefully, one day,"
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"to the point where I'll let her sleep in the guestroom."
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"Yes. Oh, well, yes."
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"Nine happy months."
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"I'm not gonna visit people in the hospital."
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"Hello."
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"But, uh, we still on for brunch Sunday?"
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"Okay, I'll see you then."
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"So, uh, Larry, again, we're very happy you came in, talked to us about Eddie."
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"- This time we'll drink it. - ( nervous chuckling )"
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"Because of the condition"
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"Little Cesar befouled the pool?"
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"I couldn't-- I couldn't refuse Little Cesar."
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"- Dolphins! - Great boat, beautiful."
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"- I might not. - No, I'm so-- ah! Ah, I'm sorry!"
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"( tires screech )"
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"Oh!"
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"Get-- get in the car? What, where-- where are we going?"
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"Go."
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"As I said, I had already waited,"
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"And all I wanted-- just a little bit more home fries."
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"Yes, of course. Why even get them?"
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"and courageous."
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"- True. - I have seen it."
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"It was something to see."
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"I have read the report of your investigation with great interest."
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"For example, this business about not giving out candy on Halloween."
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"Surely that cannot be justified."
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"That's not tricking, that's stealing."
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"By denying them candy,"
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"Ah, very good. Very good."
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"- Kabob. - Kabob for me."
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"His lust knows no bounds."
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"This is so?"
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"A Muslim woman?"
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"she is a Muslim."
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"This is new information."
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"Um, the musical "Fatwa!"?"
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"- ( muftis agreeing ) - Yes! I love "Hamilton"!"
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"( stammering ) How am I gonna get Lin-Manuel?"
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"- He's not gonna be in this. - ( bottle squirting )"
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"- Wait, don't go! - Please, no!"
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"Thank you."
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"( arguing )"
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"I don't want it!"
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"You better get rid of the do-rag."
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"It's in the same family as a scarf,"
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"as a ascot, as a pocket square."
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"She's got a thing for cowboys."
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"( theme music playing )"
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"Uh-huh."
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"( sighs )"
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"Come on."
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"- ( window opens ) - Hey, I'm trying to work."
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"Sorry, what's your problem?"
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"Two people aren't allowed to be happy?"
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"Well, you're allowed to be happy,"
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"but not in front of me, so let's move it down."
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"Good. Thank you."
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"Uh, excuse me, Señor Larry."
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"All the lights in here and in the hallway, they're all fixed."
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"You no have no more humming, no more vibrating."
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"- Everything is fixed. - Oh! Cesar, thank you so much."
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"That was driving me crazy, that humming."
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"Anything else you need from me, you give me a call"
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"Oh, hey, Cesar."
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"- That's for you. - Oh. Oh, no, no, Señor Larry. I cannot accept that money."
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"This is my job. This is what I do."
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"It's a little bonus for you, a little extra. Take it."
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"Oh, it means-- it means a lot to me, Mr. Larry,"
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"but I cannot take this."
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"I-- I just don't feel comfortable."
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"- This is what I do, sir. - ( scoffs )"
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"It just-- it doesn't happen!"
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"( chuckles ) Okay, Señor Larry."
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"I've never turned down sex in my life."
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"Huh! Cesar, this will not be forgotten anytime soon."
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"Larry: So now, for some reason,"
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"Funkhouser's gotten back together with this woman."
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"- I don't know why. She hates my guts. - Aww."
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"But nevertheless, he wants to go to brunch"
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"and see if we can all get along, you know, so it's gonna be very awkward."
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"( whispers ) Wow, tap water."
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"Here you go, sweetie."
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"Wow, look at the young man today!"
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"Very nice hoodie you got there."
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"Mom, you're still dating this guy?"
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"- Yes, honey-- - Yes, and she's enjoying it very much."
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"- Take your toast. - Where's the butter?"
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"It's right there, quite visible."
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"I can't see the butter. Do it again."
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"- I'll eat this one and I'll make you another one. - ( sighs )"
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"- Are you two having sex? - That's Mommy's business."
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"Gross."
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"( sighs ) Sorry, he's really been having a tough time lately."
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"I-- I don't know how you let him get away with that toast thing."
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"This kid needs some structure in his life. He needs some discipline!"
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"- I know, I know. - You're not tough enough."
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"I-- I know. There's this private school, and, uh..."
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"I've been thinking about sending him, but it's really tough to get into, and..."
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"I wanted to ask you a question."
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