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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart the Fink (S07E07)

"for a crafty little boy named Bart Simpson."
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"Krusty's my hero. How could I do this to him?"
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"It is a tragedy for all us kids..."
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"but Bart, you can't beat yourself up."
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"Yeah. There'll be enough people to do that for me at recess tomorrow."
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"Oh, I can't go to jail!"
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"I got a swanky lifestyle. I'm used to the best."
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"Krusty, this is America. We don't send our celebrities to jail."
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"We're just going to garnish your salary."
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"Garnish my celery?"
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"Please, Krusty. No jokes."
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"Who's joking?"
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"Oh, I don't know what you're saying."
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"It all sounds so crazy to me."
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"It simply means we'll be taking part of your salary..."
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"until your debt is repaid."
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"Say, 75% for 40 years."
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"- But I don't plan to live that long. - Oh, better make it 95%."
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"The Internal Revenue Service presents..."
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"Herschel Krustofski's Clown-Related..."
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"Entertainment Show."
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"Hey, hey, kids."
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"Now that the Feds are calling the shots..."
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"this show's gotta be a lot more cost-effective."
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"So we had to cut down on the frills..."
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"like sets, props, costumes and Sideshow Mel."
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"But that doesn't mean we can't have fun."
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"For example, I sure wish somebody would give me a banana cream pie. Yeah!"
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"Uh-"
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"I guess we can't afford pies right now."
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"Well, throw something!"
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"Oh, that corner!"
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"Um, I'll have four Tax Burgers..."
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"one "I.R.S. -wich"- withhold the lettuce-"
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"three dependent-size sodas..."
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"and a "FICA-ccino. ""
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"Fill out schedule "B." You should receive your burgers in six to eight weeks."
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"Well, let's see here."
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"Add schedule "B" to line 53, take away the-"
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"Hey, Marge, what were your gambling losses last year?"
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"Seven hundred dollars."
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"They took my money, they wrecked my show..."
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"they buried a bunch of stinking veterans in my family plot..."
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"but at least I still got my memories."
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"Those are locked up safe in my fabulous mansion."
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"carried by the Krustofski family..."
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"upon their arrival at Ellis Island in 1902."
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"A priceless heirloom and historic piece of"Krustyana. ""
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"- What am I bid? - Forty cents."
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"I got 40 cents."
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"Sold, for 40 cents."
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"Forty cents?"
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"My grandpa Zev would turn over in his grave..."
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"if it wasn't filled with some veteran."
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"Lot 67, 32 cartons of pornography."
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"- Ten cents. - Twelve."
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"Twelve cents to our phone bidder in Japan. Any other bids?"
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"All I brought is a dime. I didn't know there'd be pornography."
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"- Sold, for 12 cents. - Oh, my beloved pornography."
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"I can't watch this anymore."
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"- I'm going to bed. - How much for Krusty's bed?"
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"- Half a buck. - Sold!"
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"- Good night, everybody. - Good night, Moe."
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"And now lot number 2,380- Krusty's private plane..."
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"- the I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay. - But I love that plane."
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"I used to fly to Vegas in it with Dean Martin."
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"One night he looked out the window..."
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"and the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie."
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"but it ended up infringing on one he recorded years before."
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"Hey, Selma, that plane would go great with your new suitcase."
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"Nah, I just bought it to soak my feet in."
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"Krusty? Hi. Is it okay if I sit down here?"
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"Aah. Go ahead, kid. Knock yourself out."
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"I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Krusty..."
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"but you know, my mom says..."
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"God never closes a door without opening a window."
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"No offense, kid, but your mom's a dingbat."
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"I was a big cheese- a huge cheese!"
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"But now look at me."
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"I gotta ride the bus like a schnook."
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"I gotta live in an apartment like an idiot."
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"I gotta wait in line with nobodies..."
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"to buy groceries from a failure!"
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"It doesn't matter how you live or what you did wrong."
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"As long as you're on TV, people will respect you."
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"Respect? Pah!"
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"What good is respect without the moola to back it up?"
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"Everywhere I go I see teachers in Ferraris-"
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"research scientists drinking champagne."
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"I tried to drink a Coke on the bus..."
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"and they took away my pass."
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"That's no life for a famous clown."
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"Well, if it'll make you feel any better, Krusty..."
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"you can punch me in the face."
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"Nah, forget it. Go home, kid."
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"Shiva H. Vishnu!"
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"Where is that noise coming from?"
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"I must say, I've had a lovely evening, Agnes."
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"I don't suppose I could come in for a cup of-"
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"- Seymour! - Mother. Superintendent Chalmers!"
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"- Skinner! - What I wouldn't give for something..."
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"to interrupt this awkward moment."
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"That'll do nicely."
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"Even with all his problems, he's still willing..."
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"to do something unbelievably dangerous..."
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"just to entertain his fans."
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"Wow."
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"Oh, that's my Krusty. I got a feeling he'll be all right."
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"Oh, my God! Krusty's shoes!"
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"Show's- Oh, my God!"
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"A horrible plane crash!"
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"Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage."
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"Come on, crowd around. Crowd around. Don't be shy. Crowd around."
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"Ladies and gentlemen..."
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"Krusty the Clown is dead."
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"- I can't believe Krusty's really gone. - Don't worry, son."
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"I'm sure he's up in heaven right now..."
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"laughing it up with all the other celebrities-"
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"John Dillinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin."
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"We're gathered to mourn the passing..."
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