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Clips from Three's Company - Three's Christmas (S02E02)

"I really dig her. She's built like a... Hi, gorgeous. It's me."
Three's Company
"Listen, I have just been overcome by lust, and I've got a crude proposition..."
Three's Company
"Oh, hello, Mrs. Martin. Could I speak to your daughter please?"
Three's Company
"And a... And a merry Christmas to you too."
Three's Company
"I'll call Mark."
Three's Company
"Who's Mark? Oh, he's her latest. He's kind of an actor, sort of."
Three's Company
"Oh, really? What's he done?"
Three's Company
"Well... Oh, remember last week, we saw that Ibsen play on TV, Hedda Gabler?"
Three's Company
"Yeah. He was the one who sprayed the deodorant and went "Ooh!""
Three's Company
"In Hedda Gabler? No, no, no, no, Jack, in the commercial, remember?"
Three's Company
"Ooh! Oh."
Three's Company
"The star of Armpit Theater. I'll go check breakfast."
Three's Company
"Hi, Mark?"
Three's Company
"Hey, listen. We're having a party here tonight. Can you come?"
Three's Company
"Ohh. Oh, yeah, that's okay."
Three's Company
"Yeah. Merry Christmas. Bye-bye."
Three's Company
"No, he's busy. He's got another commercial to do."
Three's Company
"Ohh. Gee, Chrissy, that's too bad."
Three's Company
"That's really a tough acting job. What's a pea sound like?"
Three's Company
"Pardon?"
Three's Company
"Listen, listen, I have an idea."
Three's Company
"Let's make out a list of all the people that we want to invite to our party."
Three's Company
"That's good thinking. Oh, good. Yeah."
Three's Company
"Okay. Um, what about Michael Keeler?"
Three's Company
"Oh, don't invite him. Every time he has a drink it goes straight to his hands."
Three's Company
"Well, okay. All right. Just so we invite more"
Three's Company
"[ Chuckles ] That's okay with me. All I need is one girl who likes to say yes."
Three's Company
"- What for? - Well, you know what these parties can develop into..."
Three's Company
"with any luck. [ Panting ]"
Three's Company
"I have never been so ashamed in all my life."
Three's Company
"I'm not surprised they asked us to leave."
Three's Company
"Well, you didn't have to remind about it over and over again all night long."
Three's Company
"They'll never ask us back."
Three's Company
"Good. Then it wasn't a complete waste of time, was it? What?"
Three's Company
"The only time they invite us to visit is"
Three's Company
"when they have something they wanna show off."
Three's Company
"Like last year, they had the radio-controlled garage door?"
Three's Company
"Remember I stood out in the pouring rain, watching it go up and down, up and down?"
Three's Company
"That's no excuse for doing what you did in their fish tank!"
Three's Company
"It was the cheap wine they served."
Three's Company
"You didn't have to pour it in! Those poor guppies'll be drunk for days."
Three's Company
"It's good for 'em. Fish are supposed to drink."
Three's Company
"I'm sure you've heard the expression, "He drinks like a fish.""
Three's Company
"Yeah. There's another one I've heard too:"
Three's Company
""Stupid is as stupid does.""
Three's Company
"[ Mockingly ] Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah."
Three's Company
"Oh, my God, what a Christmas this is gonna be."
Three's Company
"Uh-huh. Oh, you can't come."
Three's Company
"Oh, gee. Well, that's a shame."
Three's Company
"Where're you going?"
Three's Company
"Oh, to the Stevens' party."
Three's Company
"Well, listen, have a wonderful Christmas. Yeah, see you."
Three's Company
"Well, that's it, group."
Three's Company
"That's the last name on our list."
Three's Company
"Nobody wants to come to our party."
Three's Company
"That's because nearly all of 'em are going"
Three's Company
"to the Stevens' party in the next building."
Three's Company
"Sounds like it's gonna be fabulous."
Three's Company
"- Yeah, how come we weren't invited? I know Betty Stevens. - Yeah, and I know Jimmy."
Three's Company
"We were invited to their Thanksgiving party."
Three's Company
"Yeah. What'd you do to get 'em mad at us?"
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"We took you."
Three's Company
"Me? What did I do?"
Three's Company
"Your juggling act with their best china."
Three's Company
"It's the first time I ever missed. [ Doorbell Rings ]"
Three's Company
"Well, I guess we'll just have to settle for a quiet Christmas among the three of us."
Three's Company
"Hi, Chrissy. Merry Christmas to you. Well, merry Christmas!"
Three's Company
"Hi, Mrs. Roper. Hello. Merry Christmas."
Three's Company
"I thought you went away for the weekend. So did I."
Three's Company
"Well, what happened?"
Three's Company
"Well, I don't think that Stanley and my brother get along very well together."
Three's Company
"- What makes you think that? - They keep hitting each other."
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"Hey, listen. I got a great idea."
Three's Company
"No, no. Oh, that's wonderful!"
Three's Company
"Why? What? Well, I just thought since Stanley and me are on our own,"
Three's Company
"and you guys aren't going anyplace, that maybe you can come downstairs..."
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"and have a Christmas party with us."
Three's Company
"Oh, well, I don't, uh... Hey, we'd love to! Wouldn't we, Janet?"
Three's Company
"Uh, oh, yeah. Thank you very much for asking."
Three's Company
"Oh, that's wonderful! Hey, listen."
Three's Company
"I'll bake a cake, and we'll play spin the bottle and everything."
Three's Company
"- Ah! See ya later! - Bye!"
Three's Company
"Spin the bottle."
Three's Company
"That's my very favorite game next to pin the tail on the donkey."
Three's Company
"Aw, come on, Jack. I think it's really nice of Mrs. Roper to think of us."
Three's Company
"[ Phone Rings ]"
Three's Company
"It's not my idea of an exciting Christmas, you know."
Three's Company
"- Hello? Oh, hi, Jimmy. It's Jimmy Stevens. - What?"
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"Huh? What do you mean, why didn't we answer your invitation?"
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"We never got your invitation."
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"Well, it must've gotten lost in the mail."
Three's Company
"Guess what? We're goin' to the Stevens' party?"
Three's Company
"Yes! Ha-ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! ♪ We're goin' to the Stevens' ♪"
Three's Company
"[ Together ] ♪ We're goin' to the Stevens' We're goin' to the Stevens' ♪♪"
Three's Company
"♪ No, we are not No, we are not ♪"
Three's Company
"We are going to the Roper's."
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"No!"
Three's Company
"Chrissy... No, Jack, we can't go to the Stevens'."
Three's Company
"We promised Mrs. Roper we'd go downstairs."
Three's Company
"And it might be fun."
Three's Company
"Anything would be more fun than that..."
Three's Company
"Whale gutting in the Arctic, for instance, would be more fun."
Three's Company
"I am really surprised at you, Jack."
Three's Company
"Christmas is supposed to be a festive season,"
Three's Company
"and all you can think about is enjoying yourself."
Three's Company
"[ Screeching ]"
Three's Company
"Oh, well, she is right."
Three's Company
"I mean, if we don't turn up, it'd be a lousy trick to play on the Ropers."
Three's Company
"And if we do turn up, it'll be a lousy trick to play on us."
Three's Company
"You don't want to spoil Mrs. Roper's Christmas, do you?"
Three's Company
"[ Guttural Groan ]"
Three's Company
"Wait a minute, Jack. Wait a minute."
Three's Company
"Mr. Roper will be asleep by 9:30. He always is."
Three's Company
"Hey, that's right. Then we can cut out and go to the Stevens' party."
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"Yes! Yeah. That's great."
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"Why don't you wear the socks I gave you?"
Three's Company
"- Oh, sorry. - Yeah."
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"Hey, we can take this bottle of wine down with us. It's almost full."
Three's Company
"Chrissy, that's cooking wine."
Three's Company
"Oh, good. Then we can drink it while Mrs. Roper's cooking."
Three's Company
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