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Clips from Gilligan's Island - How to Be a Hero (S01E01)

"Oh, Gilligan, you're wonderful."
Gilligan's Island
"This calls for a celebration. Let's go back and celebrate."
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"but our hero hasn't done anything, yet."
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"Oh, yes. W-well, go ahead and do something."
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"Don't just stand there. Save the man's life."
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"Yes, ma'am."
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"Gilligan."
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"[groaning]"
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"[log creaks]"
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"Okay, Skipper. Get ready now."
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"Ready? Pull your legs up."
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"[all scream]"
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"Nice going, Gilligan."
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"I'm sorry, but they're not making vines like they used to."
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"- What do we do? - Let's get the Professor."
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"He'll know what to do, he's a Professor."
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"Oh, right. You boys stay wherever you are."
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"Oh, don't go away. We'll be right back."
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"[tribal music]"
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"Cheer up, Skipper. The Professor will be here in a minute"
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"and he'll figure out something."
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"I hope so. I've got a terrible headache."
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"I feel like my head is gonna split."
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"- You got any aspirin? - No, I haven't got any aspirin."
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"Let's see. What else can you do for a headache?"
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"(Mrs. Howell) 'This way, Professor.'"
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"There they are. We were all set to hail the conquering hero"
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"and now look at them."
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"I see. We'll have you out in a jiffy. Come on, girls."
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"- Give me a hand here. - Come on, girls."
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"Ready? One, two, three.."
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"[grunting]"
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"Thanks a lot, Professor."
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"Oh, I knew the professor would know what to do."
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"- Now, we can have our party. - Thank you, Professor."
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"(Mrs. Howell) Come on.."
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"All I needed was some help."
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"Maybe, I should've asked that headhunter there for a hand."
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"[dramatic music]"
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"[screaming]"
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"[instrumental music]"
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"I tell you I saw him, a great big headhunter."
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"Yes, yes, I know."
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"It's true. He had skulls tied around his waist, a big spear"
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"and on his side--"
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"Now, you drink this."
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"You should've seen his eyes. His face was painted in.."
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"What was that stuff you gave me?"
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"That'll make you sleep, a sedative."
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"Thanks, Mrs. Howell, but you're wasting your time."
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"Those things don't work on me. I remember once.."
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"[instrumental Rock-a-bye Baby]"
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"- How is he? - Shh."
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"He's sleeping now. I've given him a sedative."
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"He's seeing headhunters. The boy's sicker than we thought."
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"You're right, Thurston."
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"It wasn't so bad when he was having an inferiority complex."
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"But now, he's having delusions."
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"My poor little buddy. I'm gonna have to make a hero out of him"
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"before he goes off his rocker."
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"You make a hero of him. After the way you bungled the job?"
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"This is a job that calls for tact, finesse, imagination--"
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"Thurston, that sounds like you."
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"You guessed it already. I hadn't even gotten to brilliant or.."
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"[instrumental music]"
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"(Mrs. Howell) 'Help! Save me. Somebody save me.'"
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"[dramatic music]"
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"(Mrs. Howell) 'Help.'"
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"That's Mrs. Howell."
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"I'm coming, Mrs. Howell."
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"Save me. Save me. Somebody save me."
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"'Help. Help.'"
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"Help. Help. Who is it?"
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"- It's me, Gilligan. - 'Would you come in.'"
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"My hero."
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"Mr. Howell. What's the matter? What is it?"
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"A tarantula. Save me."
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"That's not a tarantula, it's just a plain old beach spider."
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"Don't argue. Save me."
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"Okay, be calm, Mrs. Howell. I'll take care of him."
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"Mrs. Howell, maybe you better not look, huh."
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"'One.'"
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"[instrumental Rock-a-bye Baby]"
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"- How? - See that cliff over there?"
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"Yes."
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"Well, Gilligan climbs to the top, and he carries you down."
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"- And that way-- - Wait a minute, Mary Ann."
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"Gilligan climbs the cliff and carries me down"
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"then I would have a broken leg and a broken neck."
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"Hello, Mrs. Howell."
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"Mary Ann just had a beautiful idea for helping Gilligan."
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"Only I have to die at the end."
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"I'm afraid it's hopeless. After all, you know what they say"
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""Can't make a hero out of a sow's ear.""
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"We gotta help him. Just can't give up."
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"Exactly. We've gotta find a way to help poor Gilligan."
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"- I hear someone say Gilligan? - Oh, well...no."
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"[stammering] Eh, well, not exactly.."
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"I just said it's rained before, and it will again."
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"Oh."
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"Would you go pick some bananas?"
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"What if I meet that headhunter?"
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"Will you stop bringing that up?"
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"How many times have I told you, there are no headhunters here."
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"There haven't been for 300 years."
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"Gilligan, I thought I convinced you that"
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"that headhunter was a figment of your imagination."
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"Ah, an optical illusion."
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"Yeah, I guess I was just seeing things."
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"I'm afraid Sigmund Freud wouldn't touch that boy"
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"with a 10 foot couch."
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"- Skipper. - What is it?"
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"Should I pick the yellow or the red bananas"
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"because the yellow bananas are green?"
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"- Pick the red ones. - But the red ones are pink."
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"I don't care if you pick red, white, and blue bananas"
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"- just pick some bananas. - Okay, Skipper."
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"Blue bananas."
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"Hey. Gilligan just gave me a great idea."
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"- Oh, what? - Let's not talk here."
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