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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - Roadkill (S05E05)

"My husband struck down your feline with our car."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, we don't necessarily know"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"whether the cat belongs to this uh, gentleman."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, what did it look like?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"The name on the tags was "Sergio"?"
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"No, I-I don't think speed was-was the thing here."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No, my husband has what's called a feather foot."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well then, why did you stop?"
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"We thought it was... the decent thing to do."
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"and we have a very pressing engagement so."
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"Well, my wife is so right,"
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"we're running very late right now."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"The Hammam Spas are notoriously fickle about refunds."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You're going to the spa?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, that does sound important,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but since you just killed my daughter's cat,"
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"coming inside to break the news to her"
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"might be a little bit more important."
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"Don't you think?"
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"Hm, John, shall I pick you up on the way back?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I know how desperate you were for me to have my day of detox."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No! No, Moira!"
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"I think it's better if you... come inside with me,"
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"so we can uh,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"break the news together."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"unless you wanted me to bring in the 14 coffee cups"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and 3 empty chip bags that are also in your back seat?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"had been in your store before?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"He has been in my store before."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, I think I know why he wasn't being"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, I know what you're gonna say,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and I also thought that he was into me for a second,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but I'm pretty sure that's just his face."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No. Look over at their booth,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and tell me you don't notice any similarities."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- What the actual fuck?! - I know."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- They've ripped off our entire store. - Yeah."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Tulips instead of roses? Woof!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Similar products. The labels even look like ours."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Except, their stuff's half price."
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"who would not be fooled by some skanky knockoff."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, Dave, I'm ready to check out here."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Roland! What are you doing here?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I'm on my coffee break, and I ran out of foot cream."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, what are you talking about?"
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"I just got 'em off your table over there."
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"That's not our table."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well then, why were you standing there?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"That's not me! And he's still standing there!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay um, do you want the sale, or not?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"at a slightly higher price."
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"Geez. You were a lot nicer"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"when I was talking to you over there."
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"How far do you think we'd get"
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"When might we expect your daughter to show up,"
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"because we do have a very busy day ahead of us?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, baby's still sleeping,"
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"Where is Bebe's chamber?"
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"Oh, there she is now."
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"She's either up, or takin' a leak."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Either way, great progress for Bebe."
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"Here she is."
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"What's all this?"
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"Uh, hi, Johnny Rose, Baby."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- This is my uh... - Sergio's dead!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ugh."
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"What the hell?"
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"Yes, it seems he had taken ill,"
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"and stumbled out on the road poor thing,"
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"presumably to end it all."
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"And then?"
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"And then we ran over him."
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"Anyway, this feels like a very private family moment..."
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"that we're more than willing to share."
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"That's for you."
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"Clearly that brand loyalty you were talking about"
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"is really paying off."
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"Like to pay you off to not be here anymore."
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"Roland, what are you still doing here?"
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"This will only take a second."
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"Dave, I don't know if you remember or not,"
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"but I purchased some foot cream from you earlier?"
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"That wasn't our foot cream."
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"Yeah, okay, well you took my 15 bucks,"
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"and now I'd like a refund,"
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"because I realized I've used this stuff before,"
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"Ugh!"
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"we used to use at the motel."
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"- Ugh. - Like, exactly."
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"Wait a second..."
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"That's why!"
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"Gel Time Moist Liquid."
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"- Uh - oh, Davey got busted!"
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"Okay, this is not our product, Roland!"
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"Anyone who sells counterfeit luxury beauty products"
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"is clearly a sociopath."
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"Dave, I don't wanna tell you how to run your business,"
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"I mean, pharmacies hand those out for free on Halloween."
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"David, you have to talk to Wendy."
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"Okay, what am I gonna tell her?"
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"is some big old con artist?"
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"Why don't you just on some Gel Time?"
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"That stuff will strip your skin right off."
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"Ooh."
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"Whoa! That was..."
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"You pulled some new tricks out."
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"New to you."
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"Anyway, David should leave you in charge"
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"of the store more often."
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"Um... Ted, the door was unlocked the entire time!"
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"What?"
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"They would've gotten quite the show!"
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"It's very... irresponsible and dangerous of us."
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"Well, now we know for next time."
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"Oh, um, I almost forgot,"
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"I never signed for that parcel."
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"Uh, I don't think the guy showed up?"
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"No, Ted..."
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"Oh uh... oh, yeah I... I'd get your signature,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but I guess I left my clipboard"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
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