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Clips from Gilmore Girls - Kiss and Tell (S01E01)

"You inviting him over is like Grandma inviting a guy you liked over."
Gilmore Girls
"- You're comparing me to my mother? - No. I just..."
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"I'm Emily Gilmore now? My, how the mighty have fallen."
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"I didn't mean that."
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"- I wasn't trying to humiliate you. - I know."
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"If I was Emily Gilmore, I'd be trying to humiliate you."
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"- I just... - Look, I'm sorry, okay? I screwed up."
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"Look, I'll go. I'll uninvite him."
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"I'll tell him it's canceled because I just found out that I'm my mother."
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"- And I have to go into intensive therapy. - No, you can't uninvite him."
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"He'll think I wigged out."
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"Then I'll just disappear, and you guys can be alone."
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"And have it look like my mom arranged a date for me? No!"
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"What do we do?"
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"He has to come."
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"It won't be so bad, okay? Just pizza, and a movie, and hanging out."
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"I promise you won't feel like your mother is there."
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"Okay."
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"You might, however, feel like my mother is there."
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"and let him know what he'll be coming home to every night."
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"This was supposed to be a simple night."
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"Watch movie, eat junk, go to bed feeling sick."
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"End of story."
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"Now I'm supposed to look pretty and girly, which is completely impossible..."
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"because I'm gross, and I have nothing to wear."
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"- Do you want some help? - No."
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"- Yes. - Okay."
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"Let's see. This and..."
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"All right, well..."
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"- How did you do that? - What?"
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"I've been staring at that top for 20 minutes. It was just a top."
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"You walk in, and in three seconds it's an outfit."
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"It comes from years of experiencing fashion brain freeze like the one you had."
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"- How do you do it? - What?"
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"This whole guy thing?"
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"I've watched you when you talk to a man."
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"You have a comeback for everything. You make him laugh."
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"- You smile right. - I smile right?"
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"- Then you do the hair flip. - Oh, twirl. It's a hair twirl."
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"Then you walk away. And he just stands there, amazed..."
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"like he can't believe what happened."
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"- That's because I just stole his wallet. - I'll never be able to do that."
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"I'm a total spaz."
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"The talking part, you just get used to. The hair twirl, I can teach you."
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"And the leaving-him-amazed part..."
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"You'll do fine. Just give yourself a little time to get there."
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"- Is half an hour enough? - Plenty."
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"Wear your hair down, and your attitude high."
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"You're like a crazy Elsa Klensch."
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"Oh, thank you. Come on, now, hustle. We got a man coming over."
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"- What time did you tell him to get here? - 7:00."
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"Maybe he's just late, Miss German Train."
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"What?"
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"...is one of my favorite towns. There used to be a club there..."
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"- What was it called, baby? - Mister Kelly's."
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"Yeah, Mister Kelly's. You ever go there?"
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"- They've got Dean. - Wait here."
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"- So, Dean, you like jazz? - He sure does."
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"It's all we ever hear about, right? Jazz."
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"Hey, sugar. We were just getting to know your young man here."
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"Yeah, I see that."
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"Dean, would you mind going inside and helping Rory out?"
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"There's a struggle with a jar lid that I think she's about to lose."
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"- Sure, yeah. - It was nice talking to you, Dean."
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"Yeah, you, too."
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"- Stay cool, kid. - I will."
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"- Oh, is he cute! - Yeah."
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"- Is he Rory's boyfriend? - No, they're just friends."
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"That's not what I heard."
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"Kissing at the market gives a whole new meaning to Tasting Day."
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"Okay. I got to get back inside and shower. I'll talk to you guys later."
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"Have a good evening."
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"And don't forget to invite us to the wedding."
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"Oh, won't their kids be gorgeous!"
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"Oh, God, I hope not."
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"I'm sorry I'm late."
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"- I got here, like, a half hour ago. - We believe you."
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"We'd believe you if you said you got here three hours ago."
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"So, Dean, how do you like it here in Stars Hollow?"
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"I like it."
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"It's quiet, but nice."
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"- I like all the trees everywhere. - Yeah, the trees here are something."
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"When Rory was little, she found out that one was called a weeping willow."
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"And so she spent hours trying to cheer it up."
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"You know, like telling it jokes and..."
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"No, I'm sorry. That was me."
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"- Would you like a tour of the house? - Okay."
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"So, this is the living room, where we do our living."
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"Upstairs is my room and the good bathroom."
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"The kitchen is right through here."
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"You ever heard a fridge yodel before?"
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"Well, you have your basics."
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"Microwave for popcorn, stove for storing shoes..."
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"refrigerator, which is completely worthless."
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"Interesting."
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"I'll get that. Rory, you take over as tour guide."
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"- That's my mom. - She's got energy."
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"Yeah, well, she's 90% water, 10% caffeine."
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"- So, what's in there? - That's my room."
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"Really? Can I see it?"
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"Wow! Very clean."
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"It sucks that they use Pink Moon in a Volkswagen commercial."
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"Oh, I know."
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"- So, are you gonna come in? - Oh, no, I've seen it."
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"You look like you're glued to the door there."
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"No, I'm just observing my room from a new perspective."
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"I hardly ever stand here. It's really making me re-think my throw pillows."
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"- Would you like me to get out of here? - No, I'm fine with you looking around."
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"- Nice chicken. - Or, you know, at least I was."
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"- We do not need dessert, Sookie. - Everybody needs dessert."
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"- So, where is Rory? - With Dean."
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"Oh, that's right. Dean is here."
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"Yeah, right. You need to go now."
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"- Please. I just want one little peek. - No."
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"Okay, fine. So, how are you? How are you doing?"
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"- Sookie. - I'm concerned."
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"- You're stalling. - Am I?"
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"- Hey, Lorelai. - Hey, Joe. What do I owe you?"
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"- $15 even. - Okay."
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"- How you doing? - Awesome."
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