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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"I don't think you need to worry about Archer getting married."
Archer (2009)
"He will, if he ever meets the right girl but..."
Archer (2009)
"What was I, the wrong one?"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, you know what I mean. - Do I?"
Archer (2009)
"Doesn't matter, because worst-case scenario..."
Archer (2009)
"...that woman is a KGB double agent."
Archer (2009)
"Mother, she saved my life. She's not a..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, yeah, okay, I see what's happening here, you're both jealous."
Archer (2009)
"BOTH: What?"
Archer (2009)
"- It's understandable from you, Lana... - Hah!"
Archer (2009)
"...but from you, Mother, it's kind of creepy."
Archer (2009)
"First of all..."
Archer (2009)
"- I think it's a little weird... - Right?"
Archer (2009)
"- That a KGB agent wants to come to ISIS..."
Archer (2009)
"...when Krieger's finishing his secret project."
Archer (2009)
"So trust me, she's not interested in Krieger's project."
Archer (2009)
"No, trust me, I am very interested."
Archer (2009)
"Well, I probably shouldn't show you this, but I'm totally going to."
Archer (2009)
"[COMPUTER BEEPS]"
Archer (2009)
"KATYA: Dr. Krieger, this is amazing. KRIEGER: I don't know about all that."
Archer (2009)
"But this technology could forever alter the balance of world power."
Archer (2009)
"If you're into power, let's go down to my van..."
Archer (2009)
"...because "Red Barchetta" through a 10-gigawatt preamp is..."
Archer (2009)
"Womp, womp."
Archer (2009)
"But, surely, a brilliant scientist like you, how is it you are single?"
Archer (2009)
"Eh, I almost got married once. Church, reception, I had it all lined up."
Archer (2009)
"- Really? - Yeah, but..."
Archer (2009)
"GIRL: Krieger-san."
Archer (2009)
"My cherry blossoms are wilting."
Archer (2009)
"But "society" couldn't deal with it."
Archer (2009)
"Katya's not trying to con me into marriage."
Archer (2009)
"I mean, she did move in with me but..."
Archer (2009)
"Which is funny, why?"
Archer (2009)
"...you kind of have a problem sharing your space."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Lana, what are you doing?"
Archer (2009)
"Brushing my teeth."
Archer (2009)
"In the sink?"
Archer (2009)
"Where should I do it, in the toilet?"
Archer (2009)
"- I mean... - Ugh!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, whatever. And shut up. And if you don't make Katya an ISIS agent, Mother..."
Archer (2009)
"...I will quit ISIS."
Archer (2009)
"No, thanks. I promised Katya I'd quit drinking."
Archer (2009)
"Speaking of, where is she?"
Archer (2009)
"No words. My words have failed me."
Archer (2009)
"Well, then, shut up."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, sorry, I thought you said shut up."
Archer (2009)
"And yet you talk."
Archer (2009)
"...that he planned this whole thing."
Archer (2009)
"Of course I did not plan the traitor Kasanova's defection."
Archer (2009)
"But I had to tell the party chairman it was part of my master genius plan."
Archer (2009)
"Because the traitor Kasanova knows too much."
Archer (2009)
"[MOANING]"
Archer (2009)
"More like Lemon Party chairman."
Archer (2009)
"So I must ensure she never tells the West what she knows, or I will get..."
Archer (2009)
"- Egg on your face. - Ugh!"
Archer (2009)
"More like bullet in my brain."
Archer (2009)
"Is why party chairman kept doing this. I hope."
Archer (2009)
"Shut up, idiot, and help me think."
Archer (2009)
"Don't worry, I have actual genius plan to solve Kasanova problem."
Archer (2009)
"What...? Well, what it is?"
Archer (2009)
"If I tell you all at once your head might explode."
Archer (2009)
"Along with comb-over."
Archer (2009)
"Katya, baby, you in there?"
Archer (2009)
"- Katya. - Unh! She's not in here, dumbass."
Archer (2009)
"And this deuce ain't gonna drop itself."
Archer (2009)
"Unh! You realize I can never unhear that sentence, Pam. And why are you crying?"
Archer (2009)
"Because I got ripped in a bar last night..."
Archer (2009)
"...when some A-hole slaps me on the back..."
Archer (2009)
"And I still got two to go, so if you don't mind..."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, Pam, I had a..."
Archer (2009)
"Damn, what was it? Um..."
Archer (2009)
"Something about stripes and solids?"
Archer (2009)
"Speaking of, would you describe your relationship with Katya as solid or...?"
Archer (2009)
"Uh, Cyril, you know what's solid? This wall."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, yeah, so is the floor, my fist."
Archer (2009)
"Um. Oh, Cyril. The butt of my gun."
Archer (2009)
"- Okay, I get it. - Do you?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, yes. No, believe me, doctor, this is all very interesting information."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, it totally is."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: What the hell is going on in here?"
Archer (2009)
"[KATYA GASPS]"
Archer (2009)
"My God, Krieger, why not just give her the project on a floppy disk?"
Archer (2009)
"It's way too big for that."
Archer (2009)
"No, I just wanted..."
Archer (2009)
"Or a big parade in Red Square when you come back to Moscow..."
Archer (2009)
"...with our top-secret project. - Aah!"
Archer (2009)
"- What the hell? - No, darling. I wasn't doing anything, l..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for God's sakes, Lana, have some pride once in your life."
Archer (2009)
"I know it just kills you that I'm in love with Katya..."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Especially since you and I had sex when I had cancer."
Archer (2009)
"It's okay, it was just cancer sex."
Archer (2009)
"But it's over, Lana. Get on with your life, and let me get on with mine."
Archer (2009)
"Well, at least you got some closure."
Archer (2009)
"Which is more than I ever got."
Archer (2009)
"Darling, please, I just want to leave."
Archer (2009)
"No, Katya, don't you see? That's exactly what Mother wants."
Archer (2009)
"So you. Can you hack into the KGB servers?"
Archer (2009)
"One ring? I don't know..."
Archer (2009)
"From there it's all just Orcs and Gollums and Balrogs."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, pull up Katya's KGB personnel file."
Archer (2009)
"But, darling, l..."
Archer (2009)
"Hush, it'll show you've been disavowed by the KGB, and then Mother will..."
Archer (2009)
"[GASPS]"
Archer (2009)
"Yes, gasp, because she'll be so..."
Archer (2009)
"...confused. Katya, what...?"
Archer (2009)
"[FOOTSTEPS RUNNING AWAY]"
Archer (2009)
"No, Katya, wait. Katya!"
Archer (2009)
"- How long until Mother sees this? - Okay. Ow."
Archer (2009)
"And that kind of depends."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, shit."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, shit."
Archer (2009)
"- Ha-ha-ha. "Penetrate deep." BILBO: "Destroy from within.""
Archer (2009)
"Oh, shit."
Archer (2009)
"JAKOV: So you fake Kasanova's file, those fools at ISIS hack into it..."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, what is Phase Two?"
Archer (2009)
"Phase Two is I want promotion."
Archer (2009)
"Damn those KGB pigs."
Archer (2009)
"Faking my file so that everyone here thinks that I am..."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: A double agent."
Archer (2009)
"- Just what a double agent would say. - Stay back."
Archer (2009)
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