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Clips from Dr. Ken - The Seminar (S01E01)

"I can't lose any weight,"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, are you stressed out at work?"
Dr. Ken
"Well, the guy at whole foods told me to."
Dr. Ken
"He said fish oil's what's up."
Dr. Ken
"Good. Smart to listen to him."
Dr. Ken
""doctors are just people who couldn't hack it"
Dr. Ken
"as grocery baggers.""
Dr. Ken
""Shep, what's up?""
Dr. Ken
"You wouldn't last a minute at whole foods."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, they're all good."
Dr. Ken
"So I made you call and invite them."
Dr. Ken
"It is so painful."
Dr. Ken
"They love you."
Dr. Ken
"They're just not great conversationalists."
Dr. Ken
"I'll buff you hard, baby."
Dr. Ken
"Why does it always go to a sexual place with you?"
Dr. Ken
"You know I idle at horny."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah!"
Dr. Ken
"You're not just a nurse..."
Dr. Ken
"I know. It's like going from streetwalker"
Dr. Ken
"doesn't come with a pay increase?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, yeah, it's not about the money for me."
Dr. Ken
"I cannot wait to tell Dr. Ken about this."
Dr. Ken
"Your voice is so high I can never tell when you're covering."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, look, I know our relationship"
Dr. Ken
"can seem a little bit one-sided,"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, what, have you never heard that term "work husband"?"
Dr. Ken
"You didn't say work."
Dr. Ken
"so this is the kind of thing that matters to him,"
Dr. Ken
"that counts your steps."
Dr. Ken
"What took me so long?!"
Dr. Ken
"That's amazing!"
Dr. Ken
"He seems really happy for you."
Dr. Ken
"Mustaches are cool again?"
Dr. Ken
"You were able to wipe your hard drive"
Dr. Ken
"before the feds got to it?"
Dr. Ken
"This being his third strike,"
Dr. Ken
"What?! The bedside-manners seminar?!"
Dr. Ken
"That thing's like traffic school for doctors."
Dr. Ken
"Mm-hmm. My assistant will send you the "deets.""
Dr. Ken
"I don't have an assistant, so I'll just tell you."
Dr. Ken
"I guess the worst thing that can happen"
Dr. Ken
"They're making me go to this stupid bedside-manner seminar."
Dr. Ken
"But you're my buffer!"
Dr. Ken
"Why do you always have to take it to a sexual place?"
Dr. Ken
"With a break in the middle for snacks."
Dr. Ken
"Look, um, jimbo,"
Dr. Ken
"No, no, no, no, I didn't say that."
Dr. Ken
"6:36."
Dr. Ken
"So, grandma..."
Dr. Ken
"This is nice."
Dr. Ken
"let's do a role-play"
Dr. Ken
"Um, glad you could make it."
Dr. Ken
"Uh, anyway, the results of your C.A.T. scan showed..."
Dr. Ken
"when I came in for my physical three months ago?"
Dr. Ken
"Um... Was there a physical three months ago?"
Dr. Ken
"when you only have six months to live?!"
Dr. Ken
"Ugh!"
Dr. Ken
"That seminar was the worst four hours of my life,"
Dr. Ken
"and that includes the time I flew back from tampa"
Dr. Ken
"Why I chose that moment to try to fool around"
Dr. Ken
"with her I have no idea."
Dr. Ken
"It was that noncompliant,"
Dr. Ken
"And if you think you can just walk in here and..."
Dr. Ken
"I thought perhaps you could use"
Dr. Ken
"It's three strikes!"
Dr. Ken
"No! Cooperstown, New York!"
Dr. Ken
"I always try, but you never listen."
Dr. Ken
"So I didn't throw you a parade."
Dr. Ken
"Damona, I want a new nurse..."
Dr. Ken
"Well, that works out great for me"
Dr. Ken
"You go that way, I'll go this way!"
Dr. Ken
"Fine!"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, Allison."
Dr. Ken
"You won't believe what a sucky day I've had."
Dr. Ken
"so I invited them back tonight."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, my god. I'm gonna kill you."
Dr. Ken
"We're both on landlines, dum-dum."
Dr. Ken
"They're going away together to Palm Springs this weekend."
Dr. Ken
"I can't eat. I can't sleep."
Dr. Ken
"Do something!"
Dr. Ken
"Hey."
Dr. Ken
"I'll take it."
Dr. Ken
"- Want a hug? - Nope."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna ask."
Dr. Ken
"What's your deal?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, I noticed."
Dr. Ken
"You very nice, Allison."
Dr. Ken
"It's okay. I can take it."
Dr. Ken
"What? What's so funny?"
Dr. Ken
"He start many sentence, "as a doctor...""
Dr. Ken
"He does... constantly."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, the other day, he actually said,"
Dr. Ken
""as a doctor,"
Dr. Ken
"I even thought you hated my cooking."
Dr. Ken
"- Oh, yeah. - Uh..."
Dr. Ken
"Nurse, get me a cold compress!"
Dr. Ken
"Okay, why is he talking? He's just a nurse."
Dr. Ken
"I'm your"
Dr. Ken
"Go with it."
Dr. Ken
"Clark beavers is my friend."
Dr. Ken
"To be a better man."
Dr. Ken
"I know you were always picked last for kickball,"
Dr. Ken
"Reinstate me as your nurse."
Dr. Ken
"Dr. Park, your patient in exam room "b""
Dr. Ken
"is bleeding from the..."
Dr. Ken
"I am not athletic."
Dr. Ken
"No, you are not."
Dr. Ken
"Not at all."
Dr. Ken
"We got a bleeder."
Dr. Ken
"Are you hugging yourself?"
Dr. Ken
"No."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, guys. Hey, Allison."
Dr. Ken
"It actually wasn't so bad this time."
Dr. Ken
"So, how was rage camp?"
Dr. Ken
"You know, I actually learned a little"
Dr. Ken
"No."
Dr. Ken
"You don't get a dollar 'cause you too arrogant."
Dr. Ken
"I'm tired all the time,"
Dr. Ken
"Remind me again, what do you do for a living?"
Dr. Ken
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