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Clips from Seinfeld - The Reverse Peephole (S09E09)

"Weak hinge."
Seinfeld
"Well, I guess I better go and price fur coats."
Seinfeld
"Go down to 88th Street. They're free."
Seinfeld
"- What are you talking about? - Well, they're hanging from the trees."
Seinfeld
"You know, Newman found one there yesterday."
Seinfeld
"Man, that guy can climb like a ring-tailed lemur."
Seinfeld
"88th Street? That's where Joe Mayo lives."
Seinfeld
"What was that pop sound?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I had some hard candy in there."
Seinfeld
"So to what do I owe this unusual invitation?"
Seinfeld
"This is very much as I imagined it to be."
Seinfeld
"Aside from this rattan piece, which seems oddly out of place."
Seinfeld
"Please, sit down."
Seinfeld
"Newman..."
Seinfeld
"...I wanted to talk to you about something."
Seinfeld
"This isn't about my opening your mail?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - I don't. Never have."
Seinfeld
"Anything I read was already open."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. No. Newman..."
Seinfeld
"...I heard that you found a fur coat in a tree..."
Seinfeld
"...and I believe that it belongs to a friend of mine..."
Seinfeld
"...and I'd like to give it back to him."
Seinfeld
"You know, Newmie..."
Seinfeld
"...I know how you feel about me..."
Seinfeld
"...and I have to tell you I'm quite flattered."
Seinfeld
"- You are? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Of all the men that I know..."
Seinfeld
"...you're the only one who's held down a steady job for several years."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's interesting work. I don't mind it."
Seinfeld
"Don't you have a boyfriend?"
Seinfeld
"A burly, athletic type?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, him? Oh, don't worry. He's cool."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you say?"
Seinfeld
"How I've waited for this moment."
Seinfeld
"But alas, my heart belongs to another man's wife."
Seinfeld
"- And I have given the coat to her. - All right, we're done here."
Seinfeld
"For I am in love with Svetlana."
Seinfeld
"...who'd throw me out of the apartment where I'd be dancing-"
Seinfeld
"- Nice carryall. - It's European."
Seinfeld
"- Do you still have my lipstick? - Yeah, I think I do."
Seinfeld
"I can never find anything in here."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, here it is. - Thanks."
Seinfeld
"So that Joe Mayo throws the worst parties, doesn't he?"
Seinfeld
"What was your job?"
Seinfeld
"My job was to keep you away from the music."
Seinfeld
"What? He doesn't like my taste in music?"
Seinfeld
"Guess not."
Seinfeld
"You should have been there last year."
Seinfeld
"I got jiggy with it."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, it's Silvio."
Seinfeld
"Open up, I need to talk to you."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Silvio."
Seinfeld
"Svetlana says she find it in the laundry room..."
Seinfeld
"...but I think it is a gift from that postman agitator."
Seinfeld
"- Where is he? - Now, relax, Silvio."
Seinfeld
"No, that's it. You're both out."
Seinfeld
"Oh, come on. Newman didn't even give her that."
Seinfeld
"No, it's that's not even a woman's coat. That's a man's."
Seinfeld
"- A man's? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Oh, lots of them."
Seinfeld
"- Would you? - No."
Seinfeld
"Then who?"
Seinfeld
"What about Jerry?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, they wear a lot of furs. They're desperate, insecure people."
Seinfeld
"It's all about me, me, me."
Seinfeld
"Love me. Want me."
Seinfeld
"Something like that."
Seinfeld
"I have to do what?"
Seinfeld
"All you have to do is wear the fur, so Silvio thinks it's yours."
Seinfeld
"I'm not wearing the fur."
Seinfeld
"Then Newman and I, we get thrown out of the building."
Seinfeld
"Is that right?"
Seinfeld
"All right. Why don't you just take a good, hard look..."
Seinfeld
"...at what your life will be like if I'm not around?"
Seinfeld
"- Newman too. - Oh, come on, man."
Seinfeld
"If you do it, I'll give you that Walkman you're always asking about."
Seinfeld
"- That's my Walkman. - And you'll get it back."
Seinfeld
"- Thanks. I owe you one. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"- You get that chair? - It gets here when it gets here."
Seinfeld
"Would you stop riding me?"
Seinfeld
"You know what, just call up and cancel it. I'm out."
Seinfeld
"Joe doesn't like my taste in music. He's not getting a gift from me."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe you're dropping out too?"
Seinfeld
"So now, Kramer and I have to pay for the entire gift."
Seinfeld
"He's the guy we're buying the chair for, remember?"
Seinfeld
"It was your suggestion."
Seinfeld
"I think the chair is a fantastic gift idea..."
Seinfeld
"...but I never heard of this Joe Mayo."
Seinfeld
"And frankly, it sounds made-up."
Seinfeld
"Oh, so now I have to buy the whole chair by myself?"
Seinfeld
"- No. You don't have to buy anything. - I already bought it."
Seinfeld
"I've been lying to you for three days and now you're all screwing me."
Seinfeld
"I don't understand. Why didn't you tell us?"
Seinfeld
"Never. It is a part of me."
Seinfeld
"I will just return the chair and it will be easy..."
Seinfeld
"...because the receipt is in my good friend."
Seinfeld
"Your good friend is morbidly obese."
Seinfeld
"Well, at least I'm not carrying a purse."
Seinfeld
"It's not a purse. It's European."
Seinfeld
"All you gotta do is put this on, you go down to the corner..."
Seinfeld
"...you pick up a paper and come back."
Seinfeld
"- All right. - There you go."
Seinfeld
"How do I look?"
Seinfeld
"Odd."
Seinfeld
"My receipts. The chair. My tiger poster."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Silvio. Just out for a little stroll in my favorite fur coat."
Seinfeld
"- That is your coat? - It sure is."
Seinfeld
"Kramer says you need it..."
Seinfeld
"...because you're an entertainer and you're desperate for attention."
Seinfeld
"That's true."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry, you forgot your purse. - Oh, thanks."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Silvio, look at Jerry here..."
Seinfeld
"Yup, he's a dandy. He's a real fancy boy."
Seinfeld
"Maybe this isn't my coat."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, all right, you're not fancy. - No. He's very fancy."
Seinfeld
"Want me. Love me. Shower me with kisses."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, where'd you get it? That's his coat."
Seinfeld
"No, it's not. It's mine. I'm a fancy boy."
Seinfeld
"That's not your coat."
Seinfeld
"If that is not his coat, who's coat is it?"
Seinfeld
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