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Clips from Seinfeld - The Van Buren Boys (S08E08)

"Falkmore."
Seinfeld
"-You made that up, right? -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Woodrow, Grover, Millard."
Seinfeld
"The presidency attracts the badly named."
Seinfeld
"Their ambition is based on personal insecurity."
Seinfeld
"I told you this thing was good."
Seinfeld
"-Why? -Today is my birthday."
Seinfeld
"What? Today?"
Seinfeld
"-Really? -Yep."
Seinfeld
"...to celebrate her birthday on the Monday after the weekend."
Seinfeld
"Anybody up for Lorenzo's pizza?"
Seinfeld
"-I'll pass. -Oh, really?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, George. Pizza."
Seinfeld
"I'm interviewing high schoolers for the Susan Ross Scholarship."
Seinfeld
"...as long as they're not you?"
Seinfeld
"I'm fine with it."
Seinfeld
"Frog?"
Seinfeld
"-...back to-- -Yeah, yeah, we'll let you know."
Seinfeld
"State champs."
Seinfeld
"Right."
Seinfeld
"I'm never gonna get this thing."
Seinfeld
"Come on, sit down."
Seinfeld
"He's got this book deal for his autobiography."
Seinfeld
"He's gonna let me ghostwrite it."
Seinfeld
"Garlic and whatnot."
Seinfeld
"So I give him the crook eye back, you know?"
Seinfeld
"I'm taking on the entire Van Buren Boys."
Seinfeld
"-Van Buren Boys? -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Then they back me up against the cartoon map of ltaly..."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, can you hold on a sec? I just wanna check my messages."
Seinfeld
"It is so sweet of you to take her out."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"-Get your messages? -Yeah. No one called."
Seinfeld
"So she's the loser of the group."
Seinfeld
"-Well, stick with it. -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"But get this:"
Seinfeld
"Well, what part of your life do you want to start with?"
Seinfeld
"...I don't know if I see a whole book here."
Seinfeld
"-You don't say? -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Let's put that in the book."
Seinfeld
"No, I really don't think you can do that."
Seinfeld
"Is that the same outfit you were wearing yesterday?"
Seinfeld
"Are you using the fork that fell on the floor?"
Seinfeld
"You're fantastic."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, George, this is Ellen."
Seinfeld
"...is Steven Koren."
Seinfeld
"George, the qualifications for this scholarship..."
Seinfeld
"He wants to be..."
Seinfeld
"Is that right?"
Seinfeld
"Steven, nothing is higher than architect."
Seinfeld
"Why limit myself to one building when I can design a whole city?"
Seinfeld
"Isn't an architect just an art school dropout..."
Seinfeld
"What are you looking for?"
Seinfeld
"Romance? Comedy? Adventure?"
Seinfeld
"How much would you take for the whole lot?"
Seinfeld
"Kramer, my friend, you consider Elaine at your disposal."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"I don't know if I lost track of time or what."
Seinfeld
"I didn't even get there."
Seinfeld
"-Yeah, chew on that. -I'll chew on that."
Seinfeld
"-You want me to take notes? -Yeah, but get there after 9."
Seinfeld
"You know, give the people a chance to loosen up."
Seinfeld
"That kid was like a son to me."
Seinfeld
"Like my father and my father's father before him."
Seinfeld
"You know, maybe philanthropy is not your field."
Seinfeld
"Hello. Oh, hi, Ellen. Yeah, I called the hotel."
Seinfeld
"Vermont."
Seinfeld
"I can't wait."
Seinfeld
"-What? -Jerry, she's a loser."
Seinfeld
"Why are you doing this, Jerry?"
Seinfeld
"-It's something he should consider. -Of course he should."
Seinfeld
"So, what are you saying? That we're wrong? Everybody's wrong but you."
Seinfeld
"-Which one? -They were all like that."
Seinfeld
"Why did you take away my scholarship, Mr. Costanza?"
Seinfeld
"What about architect, Steven?"
Seinfeld
"-I'll make a note of it. -Hey, Kramer."
Seinfeld
"-Yeah. -Ramirez has never heard your story."
Seinfeld
"Well, I had Bob Sacamano on the phone..."
Seinfeld
"-What do you mean? -You signed the release."
Seinfeld
"-Yeah. -He sat in mud, not you."
Seinfeld
"-But I did sit in mud. -You didn't."
Seinfeld
"They-- They fit well and so I decided I wasn't gonna return them."
Seinfeld
"-Getting late. We better get going. -Okay."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, Kramer, I got big trouble with the Van Buren Boys."
Seinfeld
"-They're tough cookies. -I heard that you..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, nothing, nothing."
Seinfeld
"You know what those guys are gonna do?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, you didn't hear it from me..."
Seinfeld
"Is my toaster oven on there?"
Seinfeld
"Make them interesting."
Seinfeld
"Well, I gotta go to the airport. I'm picking up my parents."
Seinfeld
"What? Weren't they just here?"
Seinfeld
"-I gotta see what they think of her. -Maybe we can have dinner later."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hey. Hey, have I told you about my bunions?"
Seinfeld
"Kramer, this is awful."
Seinfeld
"We don't wanna hear about this."
Seinfeld
"But they all stink."
Seinfeld
"-How much did you pay for them? -Eight bucks."
Seinfeld
"I'm returning some pants..."
Seinfeld
"...you dive into a side tunnel..."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Seinfeld
"How about if instead of diving from the train, you...?"
Seinfeld
"...and ruin your pants?"
Seinfeld
"The very pants I was returning."
Seinfeld
"I have Benes' wonderfully imaginative mind to spin my stories."
Seinfeld
"You take back your tales, you vagabond."
Seinfeld
"There you are, Elaine. Go forth and create."
Seinfeld
"Then why don't you flash us the sign?"
Seinfeld
"The sign."
Seinfeld
"And she's got some body on her."
Seinfeld
"And smart, like a computer."
Seinfeld
"Do you like her?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, Amber. I wonder if she's back from Vegas."
Seinfeld
"Next one or you're meat."
Seinfeld
"-Please, they're gonna hit me. -What?"
Seinfeld
"-Who? -Artemis N. Falkmore."
Seinfeld
"-But it sounds like a president name? -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Are you wearing lifts in those shoes?"
Seinfeld
"So they have this clock now, where you punch in your age..."
Seinfeld
"...and all your risk factors..."
Seinfeld
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