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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S03E03)

"That was sarcasm."
Archer (2009)
"Good, we got them."
Archer (2009)
"This is the only way out. Of the armory."
Archer (2009)
"I heard you. And I can also read, so--"
Archer (2009)
"They may have fire superiority. You think?"
Archer (2009)
"Really wish we had some backup. Who, Cyril?"
Archer (2009)
"...but you were... Where was it? Physical therapy."
Archer (2009)
"Well, it's obviously working, you're on a--"
Archer (2009)
"What are you, insane? "Hey y'all, here's my great big old black wife!""
Archer (2009)
"What? Jeezy Petes!"
Archer (2009)
"GILLETTE: Both. CHERYL: Ow! You dumb idiot!"
Archer (2009)
"Ferlin, West Virginia. Yeah, and you and Ray are married."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, oh, my God! We're not actually--"
Archer (2009)
"Yes and no. Respectively?"
Archer (2009)
"I hear that. You hear what?"
Archer (2009)
"Not that?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, you know, just wanted to show off my pretty new bride to the home folks."
Archer (2009)
"For a minute there I was thinking maybe you come back..."
Archer (2009)
"Because believe me when I tell you, ain't nothing you can do to help him."
Archer (2009)
"Y'all drive safe now, hear?"
Archer (2009)
"So not only is Ray not paralyzed, but his brother is a drug dealer--"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, no! I'm not getting mixed up in this, and if Ms. Archer asks me--"
Archer (2009)
"And why does it always reek of paint?"
Archer (2009)
"GILLETTE: Well, there she is. The old homestead."
Archer (2009)
"Jesus, what's my dowry? Tetanus? Hey, you know what?"
Archer (2009)
"And so E.Z. gave me a choice:"
Archer (2009)
"Give him my whole dang operation, get out of the holler by sundown..."
Archer (2009)
"...or else him and his boys'll just take it and grind me up into fertilizer."
Archer (2009)
"Want some more of my pie, Mr. Archer?"
Archer (2009)
"No, it's not that, it's-- Plus I'd rather kill myself."
Archer (2009)
"Nothing up there but a bunch of you-know-whats."
Archer (2009)
"...but now it's either roll over for that sheriff like a dog or fight."
Archer (2009)
"...AR-15s, maybe grenades. Oh, dogs! Duh."
Archer (2009)
"So is there, like, special chicken shaving cream, or...?"
Archer (2009)
"First of all, that is a rooster!"
Archer (2009)
"Well? Why you look so nonplussed?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, I think I got-- So where the hell's your damn pants?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I gotta go make sure she's okay!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, give it a minute."
Archer (2009)
"Apparently the intruders downloaded a virus into the mainframe."
Archer (2009)
"He what? Yeah, apparently it's in the Bible?"
Archer (2009)
"...and B, you and Carol aren't really married."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, but-- That's actually a really good point."
Archer (2009)
"Now that sounds like something from the Bible."
Archer (2009)
"You gotta wait till later, maybe after supper. Remember: No kissing."
Archer (2009)
"I wasn't... That is the weirdest rule."
Archer (2009)
"CHERYL: I know, right? Some honeymoon."
Archer (2009)
"Wha--? Finally, a non-idiotic greeting."
Archer (2009)
"ARCH E R: Sterling Archer."
Archer (2009)
"No, I was-- Not important."
Archer (2009)
"Ray's still up in the woods, right? Uh... Oh."
Archer (2009)
"RANDY: Whoa, whoa, whoa, now hang on a second!"
Archer (2009)
"Somebody, come on, promises were made."
Archer (2009)
"And here we go. They weren't even cold in the ground..."
Archer (2009)
"Randy, your seemingly effeminate brother is actually a highly trained secret agent."
Archer (2009)
"Pssh. Yeah, and I'm something equally hard to believe is true."
Archer (2009)
"Well, and the bronze medal. Prove it."
Archer (2009)
"Ray? Is he telling the truth?"
Archer (2009)
"Mostly. So because you're a spy..."
Archer (2009)
"Aw. And here all this time I thought it was because you were ashamed of us."
Archer (2009)
"No, Daddy said he burned that one."
Archer (2009)
"And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I was ashamed of you."
Archer (2009)
"The important thing is you came back to help me."
Archer (2009)
"PONDER: Randy Gillet! This is Sheriff E.Z. Ponder!"
Archer (2009)
"Randy, you may be a racist, homophobic, wife-swapping drug dealer..."
Archer (2009)
"Farmer. ...but nobody murders my brother."
Archer (2009)
"The Gillet boys, side by side."
Archer (2009)
"JANELLE: Ow! Janelle! Are you hit?"
Archer (2009)
"No! A piece of glas--"
Archer (2009)
"Well, don't just sit there! Shoot!"
Archer (2009)
"Looks like it's just you and me, brother."
Archer (2009)
"They'll go easy on you. Hell, the judge is my wife's cousin."
Archer (2009)
"I bet he'll give you probation."
Archer (2009)
"Why in the world would you think that I, a peace officer sworn to uphold the law..."
Archer (2009)
"L-- Because that's what Randy said! Randy's a drug dealer."
Archer (2009)
"Randy? Is he telling the truth?"
Archer (2009)
"Because you could never be bothered to get a real job!"
Archer (2009)
"For the shockfights?"
Archer (2009)
"You lying-ass bitch!"
Archer (2009)
"Is that right? Well, listen here."
Archer (2009)
"LANA : Wait, here's an idea:"
Archer (2009)
"You talk louder, maybe they'll come to us."
Archer (2009)
"No way, really? Because so was that, just now."
Archer (2009)
"I pretty much insist that you shut up."
Archer (2009)
"Shit, they're in the armory."
Archer (2009)
"So, what's in the armory?"
Archer (2009)
"Burglars, Lana, that's why I'm here and not up to my ears in stewardess."
Archer (2009)
"Well, a bunch of automatic weapons, rocket launchers..."
Archer (2009)
"...uh, about a jillion grenades-- Oh."
Archer (2009)
"For all we know they're building a Gundam suit with bazookas for hands."
Archer (2009)
"Or, oh, maybe Ray could run over them with his wheelchair."
Archer (2009)
"That was also sarcasm, since apparently now we're saying whenever we do it."
Archer (2009)
"Are you ready? No."
Archer (2009)
"Sarcasm again. Yes, I'm ready."
Archer (2009)
"What are you doing? Nothing!"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Archer! What..."
Archer (2009)
"...the hell are you doing? Nothing. What're y'all doing?"
Archer (2009)
"The alarm company called us because the motion sensors were going off."
Archer (2009)
"Dukes. Yeah, we got new keycodes Monday..."
Archer (2009)
"For your limp, useless legs."
Archer (2009)
"Wait a minute! How are you walking around on ladders?"
Archer (2009)
"Because he's not paralyzed! And is that not the stuff of miracles?"
Archer (2009)
"You lying little-- I never said I was paralyzed!"
Archer (2009)
"Y'all just assumed I was!"
Archer (2009)
"Because you left the hospital in a wheelchair!"
Archer (2009)
"They make you!"
Archer (2009)
"Then I couldn't get a cab, so I got back in the chair and--"
Archer (2009)
"Spent the last six months pretending to be handicapped."
Archer (2009)
"Handi-capable."
Archer (2009)
"Before I kick this ladder over in the hopes of paralyzing you for real..."
Archer (2009)
"...why are you in here stealing guns and grenades..."
Archer (2009)
"...in what better not be my night-vision goggles?"
Archer (2009)
"I kind of have some family problems."
Archer (2009)
"So your brother, the drug dealer-- He's not a drug dealer! He's a drug farmer."
Archer (2009)
"Whatever, is gonna be murdered by your hometown's crooked sheriff?"
Archer (2009)
"E.Z. Ponder, yeah, and he used to bully me so bad in high school--"
Archer (2009)
"No! Ray, that was sarcasm."
Archer (2009)
"Anyway, he wants Randy's dope farm for himself or he'll kill him, so I gotta go and..."
Archer (2009)
"...stop him. Count me in."
Archer (2009)
"What? Why?"
Archer (2009)
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