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Clips from Monty Python's Flying Circus - How Not to Be Seen (S02E02)

SHUT UP.

"SHUT UP."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WHEN YOU TOOK OVER THIS ACCOUNT, FROG

"WHEN YOU TOOK OVER THIS ACCOUNT, FROG"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"CONQUISTADOR WAS BRAND LEADER."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

HERE YOU INTRODUCED YOUR FIRST CAMPAIGN--

"HERE YOU INTRODUCED YOUR FIRST CAMPAIGN--"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"CONQUISTADOR COFFEE BRINGS A NEW MEANING

""CONQUISTADOR COFFEE BRINGS A NEW MEANING"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

TO THE WORD 'VOMIT'."

"TO THE WORD 'VOMIT'.""

Monty Python's Flying Circus

HERE YOU MADE YOUR SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER

"HERE YOU MADE YOUR SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

OF A FREE DEAD DOG WITH EVERY JAR.

"OF A FREE DEAD DOG WITH EVERY JAR."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"WHICH BRINGS YOU EXCITING NEW CHOLERA, MANGE, SAPPORTIA

""WHICH BRINGS YOU EXCITING NEW CHOLERA, MANGE, SAPPORTIA"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"DROPSY, THE CLAP, HARD PAD, AND ATHLETE'S HEAD

""DROPSY, THE CLAP, HARD PAD, AND ATHLETE'S HEAD"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FROM THE HOUSE OF CONQUISTADOR."

"FROM THE HOUSE OF CONQUISTADOR.""

Monty Python's Flying Circus

IT WAS A SOFT SELL, SIR.

"IT WAS A SOFT SELL, SIR."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WHY, FROG?

"WHY, FROG?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

S. FROG, SIR.

"S. FROG, SIR."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

SHUT UP.

"SHUT UP."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WELL, PEOPLE KNOW THE NAME, SIR.

"WELL, PEOPLE KNOW THE NAME, SIR."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THEY CERTAINLY DO KNOW THE NAME.

"THEY CERTAINLY DO KNOW THE NAME."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THEY BURNED THE FACTORY DOWN.

"THEY BURNED THE FACTORY DOWN."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THE OWNER IS HIDING IN MY BATHROOM.

"THE OWNER IS HIDING IN MY BATHROOM."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( gunshot )

"( gunshot )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THE OWNER WAS HIDING IN MY BATHROOM.

"THE OWNER WAS HIDING IN MY BATHROOM."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIRE ME, SIR?

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIRE ME, SIR?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FIRE YOU?

"FIRE YOU?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THREE MEN DEAD, THE FACTORY BURNED DOWN

"THREE MEN DEAD, THE FACTORY BURNED DOWN"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THE ACCOUNT LOST

"THE ACCOUNT LOST"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND OUR FIRM COMPLETELY BANKRUPT.

"AND OUR FIRM COMPLETELY BANKRUPT."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY SAY?

"WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY SAY?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WHAT EXCUSE CAN YOU POSSIBLY MAKE!

"WHAT EXCUSE CAN YOU POSSIBLY MAKE!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

SORRY, FATHER.

"SORRY, FATHER."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AH, YES.

"AH, YES."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

OH, INCIDENTALLY, YOUR FILM'S WON A PRIZE.

"OH, INCIDENTALLY, YOUR FILM'S WON A PRIZE."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( music skipping )

"( music skipping )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY

"AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

DIFF COMPLETELY...

"DIFF COMPLETELY..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

DIFF COMPLETELY...

"DIFF COMPLETELY..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

DIFF COMPLETELY...

"DIFF COMPLETELY..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

DIFF COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

"DIFF COMPLETELY DIFFERENT."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

IT'S...

"IT'S..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" playing )

"( Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" playing )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION...

"[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( music skipping )

"( music skipping )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

...and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]

"...and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( music ends with rude noise )

"( music ends with rude noise )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

John: 1929. STANLEY BALDWIN'S CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT

"John: 1929. STANLEY BALDWIN'S CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

IS DEFEATED

"IS DEFEATED"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND RAMSA Y MacDONALD BECOMES

"AND RAMSA Y MacDONALD BECOMES"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

PRIME MINISTER OF ENGLAND.

"PRIME MINISTER OF ENGLAND."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( clock ticking )

"( clock ticking )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( whistling nonchalantly )

"( whistling nonchalantly )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

HELLO? COME IN.

"HELLO? COME IN."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AH, HELLO, HELLO.

"AH, HELLO, HELLO."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FOR THE BRIEFCASE?

"FOR THE BRIEFCASE?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WELL, I...

"WELL, I..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

ALL RIGHT, THEN

"ALL RIGHT, THEN"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THE BRIEFCASE AND THE UMBRELLA

"THE BRIEFCASE AND THE UMBRELLA"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

A FIVER DOWN, MUST BE MY FINAL OFFER.

"A FIVER DOWN, MUST BE MY FINAL OFFER."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SELL THEM.

"I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SELL THEM."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

OH, TAKE A SEAT. TAKE A SEAT.

"OH, TAKE A SEAT. TAKE A SEAT."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THANK YOU.

"THANK YOU."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WITH THE ALUMINUM FRAME.

"WITH THE ALUMINUM FRAME."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'LL THROW THAT IN.

"I'LL THROW THAT IN."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THAT AND THE FIVER FOR THE BRIEFCASE AND THE UMBRELLA.

"THAT AND THE FIVER FOR THE BRIEFCASE AND THE UMBRELLA."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

NO, MAKE IT FAIR, THE BRIEFCASE AND THE UMBRELLA

"NO, MAKE IT FAIR, THE BRIEFCASE AND THE UMBRELLA"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND THE TWO PENS IN YOUR BREAST POCKET

"AND THE TWO PENS IN YOUR BREAST POCKET"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND A PAIR OF EX-GERMAN U-BOAT COMMANDER'S BINOCULARS.

"AND A PAIR OF EX-GERMAN U-BOAT COMMANDER'S BINOCULARS."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

REALLY, THEY'RE NOT FOR SALE.

"REALLY, THEY'RE NOT FOR SALE."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I CAME ABOUT THE ADVERTISEMENT

"I CAME ABOUT THE ADVERTISEMENT"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FOR THE JOB OF ASSISTANT EDITOR.

"FOR THE JOB OF ASSISTANT EDITOR."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

UH, HOW MUCH EXPERIENCE IN JOURNALISM?

"UH, HOW MUCH EXPERIENCE IN JOURNALISM?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

RIGHT. TYPING SPEED?

"RIGHT. TYPING SPEED?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

50.

"50."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"O" LEVELS?

""O" LEVELS?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

EIGHT.

"EIGHT."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"A" LEVELS?

""A" LEVELS?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

TWO.

"TWO."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

RIGHT.

"RIGHT."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WELL, I'LL GIVE YOU THE JOB...

"WELL, I'LL GIVE YOU THE JOB..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND THE CHAIR AND AN ALL-WOOL, EX-ARMY SLEEPING BAG

"AND THE CHAIR AND AN ALL-WOOL, EX-ARMY SLEEPING BAG"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FOR THE BRIEFCASE, THE UMBRELLA

"FOR THE BRIEFCASE, THE UMBRELLA"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THE PENS IN YOUR BREAST POCKET

"THE PENS IN YOUR BREAST POCKET"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND YOUR STRING VEST.

"AND YOUR STRING VEST."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WHEN DO I START?

"WHEN DO I START?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

MONDAY. MARVELOUS.

"MONDAY. MARVELOUS."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

IF YOU THROW IN THE SHOES AS WELL.

"IF YOU THROW IN THE SHOES AS WELL."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

HELLO, MISS JOHNSON

"HELLO, MISS JOHNSON"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

COULD WE HAVE TWO COFFEE AND BISCUITS, PLEASE?

"COULD WE HAVE TWO COFFEE AND BISCUITS, PLEASE?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

TWO EX-ARMY GREATCOATS AND THE ALARM CLOCK

"TWO EX-ARMY GREATCOATS AND THE ALARM CLOCK"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

TWO GREATCOATS AND TWO TABLE LAMPS.

"TWO GREATCOATS AND TWO TABLE LAMPS."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( humming and typing )

"( humming and typing )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND DREAMED HER LITTLE DREAMY DREAMS

"AND DREAMED HER LITTLE DREAMY DREAMS"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

UNAWAREAS SHE WAS OF THE CRUEL TRICK

"UNAWAREAS SHE WAS OF THE CRUEL TRICK"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FATE HAD IN STORE FOR HER.

"FATE HAD IN STORE FOR HER."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FOR MISSJOHNSON WAS ABOUT TO FALL VICTIM

"FOR MISSJOHNSON WAS ABOUT TO FALL VICTIM"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

OF THE DREADED, INTERNATIONAL CHINESE COMMUNIST CONSPIRACY.

"OF THE DREADED, INTERNATIONAL CHINESE COMMUNIST CONSPIRACY."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( high-pitchedjabbering )

"( high-pitchedjabbering )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

YES, THESE FANATICAL FIENDS--

"YES, THESE FANATICAL FIENDS--"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF THE SO-CALLED MAO TSE-TUNG--

"UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF THE SO-CALLED MAO TSE-TUNG--"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

HAD CAUGHTMISSJOHNSON OFF GUARD

"HAD CAUGHTMISSJOHNSON OFF GUARD"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

FOR ONE BRIEF, BUT FATAL MOMENT...

"FOR ONE BRIEF, BUT FATAL MOMENT..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND DESTROYED HER.

"AND DESTROYED HER."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

JUSTAS THEYARE READY TO DO ANY TIME FREE MEN ANYWHERE

"JUSTAS THEYARE READY TO DO ANY TIME FREE MEN ANYWHERE"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WA VER IN THEIR DEFENSE OF DEMOCRACY.

"WA VER IN THEIR DEFENSE OF DEMOCRACY."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( gunshots )

"( gunshots )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

( "Stars and Stripes Forever" playing )

"( "Stars and Stripes Forever" playing )"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

YES, ONCE AGAIN, AMERICAN DEFENSE PROVES ITS EFFECTIVENESS

"YES, ONCE AGAIN, AMERICAN DEFENSE PROVES ITS EFFECTIVENESS"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AGAINST INTERNATIONAL COMMUNISM.

"AGAINST INTERNATIONAL COMMUNISM."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

USING THIS DIAGRAM OFA TOOTH TO REPRESENTANY SMALL COUNTRY

"USING THIS DIAGRAM OFA TOOTH TO REPRESENTANY SMALL COUNTRY"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WE CAN SEE HOW INTERNATIONAL COMMUNISM WORKS

"WE CAN SEE HOW INTERNATIONAL COMMUNISM WORKS"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

BY ERODING AWA Y FROM THE INSIDE.

"BY ERODING AWA Y FROM THE INSIDE."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WHEN ONE COUNTRY OR TOOTH FALLS VICTIM

"WHEN ONE COUNTRY OR TOOTH FALLS VICTIM"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

IN DENTISTRY, THIS IS KNOWN AS THE "DOMINO THEORY. "

"IN DENTISTRY, THIS IS KNOWN AS THE "DOMINO THEORY. ""

Monty Python's Flying Circus

BUT WITH AMERICAN DEFENSE

"BUT WITH AMERICAN DEFENSE"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THE DECAY IS STOPPED BEFORE IT STARTS.

"THE DECAY IS STOPPED BEFORE IT STARTS."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

AND THAT'S WHY NINE OUT OF TEN

"AND THAT'S WHY NINE OUT OF TEN"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

SMALL COUNTRIES CHOOSE AMERICAN DEFENSE.

"SMALL COUNTRIES CHOOSE AMERICAN DEFENSE."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WITH THE MIRACLE INGREDIENT, FRAUDULIN.

"WITH THE MIRACLE INGREDIENT, FRAUDULIN."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

THE WHITE CAR REPRESENTS CRELM TOOTHPASTE

"THE WHITE CAR REPRESENTS CRELM TOOTHPASTE"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

WITH THE MIRACLE INGREDIENT.

"WITH THE MIRACLE INGREDIENT."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

ANOTHER TOOTHPASTE.

"ANOTHER TOOTHPASTE."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

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