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Clips from The Simpsons - Grade School Confidential (S08E08)

"Do you know where the remote is? I looked all over the house."
The Simpsons
"- [Bart] You got it. - Damn!"
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"- We'll blast them out with music. - [Brakes Hissing]"
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"- [Feedback Squealing] - ## [Piano]"
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"## [Big Band]"
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"Oh, Edna, I hope this siege never ends."
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"Seymour, you're heaven in Hush Puppies."
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"[Groaning] Turn the music off!"
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"Ha! It's working like a charm, boys."
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"- I'll get it. - [Rings]"
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"But I am a public servant, and not permitted to use my own judgment in any way."
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"Oh, yeah. That'll be real productive."
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"Who do you want to talk to first? The guy in the bumblebee suit..."
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"or the one with the bone through his hair?"
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"My opinions are as valid as the next man's!"
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"- Yeah, all right. Just come on down. - [Beeps]"
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"- What are you going to do? - I'm going to go out there..."
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"Well, that's nice. But first you gotta grab their attention. And I think I know how."
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"I have a bomb!"
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"[All Gasping]"
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"Hey, wait a minute! Those are hot dogs! Armour Hot Dogs!"
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"Just speak from the heart, Seymour."
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"Tell them how we brought a little happiness into each other's lives."
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"Ask them why they're forcing two dedicated people..."
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"to choose between their careers and their hearts!"
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"We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-l-L-D-R-E-N."
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"Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!"
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"My child told me you two were having sex in the school janitor's closet."
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"- You know, making babies! - Yes! Illicit sex!"
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"Doing "it!" "It!" "It!""
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"Sordid, public, sexual congress!"
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"Uh-"
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"Yes?"
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"Seymour, I think you'd better tell them."
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"It's the only way to clear our names."
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"[Clicks Tongue, Exhales] Well, everyone..."
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"the fact is, I haven't ever had relations."
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"- Ha-ha! - [Muttering]"
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"- Hey! Does this mean that Mrs. Krabappel is a virgin too? - [Nelson] Ha!"
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"Well, Seymour, it's clear you've been falsely accused..."
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"because no one, anywhere, ever..."
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"would pretend to be a 44-year-old virgin."
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"That was more than I wanted to know."
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"I suppose we overreacted."
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"[Whispering, Indistinct]"
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"Oh! No problemo. So, I guess now you'll be getting married or something, huh?"
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"Well, actually, Seymour and I have decided to break up."
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"- Huh? - We can't continue on like this..."
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"the whole town watching our every move with a fine-tooth comb-"
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"Mm-hmm. I'm used to humiliation. But not in front of a crowd that size."
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"Oh, but you seemed like such a good couple."
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"Bart, when you get a little older..."
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"exactly the way you'd like them to."
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"Hmm."
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"That's why I love elementary school, Edna."
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"[Laughing]"
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"- [Murmuring] - Shh!"
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"D'oh! [Screams]"
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"[Engine Rewing]"
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"- I guess we could go to Martin's party. - I don't know."
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"Relax. I'm just here to have fun like everybody else. [Chuckles]"
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"- So. - Mm-hmm?"
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"Excuse me."
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"- Oh, man! - Now, prepare to marvel at the mysteries of the universe..."
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"[Children Chattering]"
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"- Is this how you imagined your life, Edna? - Well, yes."
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"- [Running Footsteps] - Help me, Edna."
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"[Groans] I feel queasy."
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"[Chuckles] I think we both know the answer to that."
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"- And your laugh. - You mean, "Ha"?"
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"[Whimpers]"
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"Now, Bart, son..."
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"Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, it's to know when I'm beaten."
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"Let's talk deal."
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"and some other student can inherit your gloomy, windblown future."
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"- Applesauce. - [Laughs] Of course."
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"I'm sorry, I don't get out to restaurants much."
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"I'd like you to give this note to Edna when you get back to class."
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"[Neon Tubes Buzzing]"
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"## [Movie Theme]"
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"You wouldn't happen to have any real cakes around here, would you?"
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"Oh. Can't I just turn the page for you?"
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"[Pencils Scratching Paper]"
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"- [Groans] - Mrs. Krabappel..."
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"Okay, crew. Set your faces to stunned."
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"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies."
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"- [Keypad Beeping] - Thank you, Sarah."
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"I want you out of the building by 3:00."
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"- What are you getting at? - You've spent your whole life following orders."
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"[Shouting] Did you check your pocket?"
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""Fine. Stay in the school. We don't want you to come out.""
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"[Groaning] Ugh!"
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"Then let us take our case directly to the townspeople."
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"What kind of man wears Armour Hot Dogs?"
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"[Squeaking, Popping]"
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"[Blows Raspberry]"
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"## [Dixieland]"
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"I was in the library at the time."
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"So, once again, I've been had."
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"The children believe anything you tell them."
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"We have barricaded ourselves in the school..."
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"This is absurd! I did not have relations in that closet!"
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"Hey, Houdini! Why don't you saw Martin in half?"
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"[Both Laughing]"
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"- Bart has something he wants to say to you. - I won't say it!"
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"We're not going anywhere! I'm gonna do what Bart should've told me to do a long time ago!"
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"- I don't know. I don't think it's important. - Yeah."
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"- [Champagne Cork Pops] - [Edna] Whoo! Oh, Seymour!"
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"- [Door Slams] - Oh, I can't take much more of this!"
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"## [Romantic Strings]"
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"[Gasps]"
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"Deal."
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"Ach! I'll never look at him the same again."
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"Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water."
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"Jimbo, how's that hat today? Janie, Janie, Bo-phaney!"
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"Bart! So good to see you. I have a little favor to ask you."
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"- [Relays Clicking] - ## [Continues]"
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"No one would like to celebrate your love more than I."
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"Oh, that's for sure!"
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"Uh, hold on, Bart. May we have a word with you?"
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